Fleeting Motivation and More on Mr. Scarborough

Hmph.  Today I'm here to rant about fleeting motivation when I really should be doing something more important such as homework.  (Psh, who does homework?  Really?  C'mon.)  Haha!  (Those of you who know me know I'm just kidding.) 

So, in what areas of my life is motivation fleeting?

Well, for one, since the whole "exercise" thing hasn't been going that great (thanks a lot, Lyndonville,) there's one area.  Until tonight, my housecleaning skills had temporarily abandoned me.  Of course, I've had a bit more on my mind than keeping my room tidy lately (hint: Mr. Scarborough-more on him later,) but tonight I was able to whip myself into a cleaning frenzy.  *Throws a party for myself to celebrate my slight reconquest of motivation.*  Laundry done and put away, little by little things coming up off the floor, and my homework somewhat coming along, all in all I'd consider it a good night.

So, what am I trying to say?  I guess just that I can relate.  Keeping focused is hard especially when you have a lot going on.  It's not to say I've given up on everything altogether, just that everyone has a time when things aren't going exactly as he or she wishes they would.  To be completely honest, it might be a good thing if I could get back on Weight Watchers for the summer.  I feel bad though because my grandmother footed the bill last time, and by the time Velvet, Ashley and I got to Champlain Loses It, I didn't need it anymore because we could all do it on our own.  But now that I'm back by myself, it's all falling apart again.  I really want to try to peel some of this weight back off again, but my surroundings and environment make that really hard.  (Especially when I want to eat right for my body, but all's we've had in the house constantly is bread.  So, toast for breakfast, some sort of sandwich for lunch, and more toast or bread for supper.)  Not exactly a well-balanced diet.  I admit some of the shortcomings are me just failing at cooking skills because I haven't learned how certain dishes go together yet, but it's hard.  Also, there is a distinct lack of motivation to eat apples and fruit.  I love apples and peanut butter!  Why hasn't it looked appetizing to me in like, a month?!  WHY AM I NOT BEING MYSELF?!

Writing this is making me really depressed, but it's good to get this all out I suppose.  Repressing this kind of stuff is never good for anybody.  Creating a healthy lifestyle for yourself (including a well-balanced diet and exercise schedule) isn't just hard, it's nearly impossible.  And now with my work schedule down to about 10 hrs/week, I don't even have the money to do anything extra for myself (much less contribute to seeing Mr. Scarborough more often...which makes me impossibly sad.) :(  Somehow, someway, I'm going to do this.  There will be a day where things get easier all around.  There will be a day when I am free of the majority of my debt (student loans,) and there will be day when I can settle down with an amazing husband, Lara & Phoebe & co., and Ryan living in the basement working as the on-call babysitter for my yet-to-be-conceived children.  There will be a day when I reach my goals.  And world, you best be looking out when that happens.  America will never be the same.  =D

For those of you out there who are in the same rut I am, hang in there ladies and gents.  We'll get out of here sometime.  But I suppose now is one of those times that makes the whole struggle worth the while.  Now will be one of those times you can look back on and be like "Whew, I remember that.  Rough stuff, but it showed me what I was really made of."  (Leave a comment at the end of all this if you're in a rut as well.  Maybe we can pull each other out!)

Now, for more on Mr. Scarborough.  We have officially had our first date and in my mind we are now at "officially dating" status.  Those of you who have read the story on FaceBook can skip this next part, but here's my take on how the day went:

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For all of you who wanted to know how my first date with Mitchell went, here's the rundown/play-by-play. :)

My mom, gram, and I set off at 1 today (on time!) for North Conway, NH. Now, this is kind of an awesome feat considering how long it took me to get ready for this date (1.5 hrs.) Not that I was actually doing a lot for that whole span of time. I mean, I only take a half hour with taking a shower and getting dressed. But the rest of it was mostly psyching myself up in the mirror. My only makeup: eyeliner and mascara. Not a lot. And I don't usually wear make up, so that was a nice change for me. Anywho, I sort of digress. My hair didn't want to cooperate with what I wanted it to do (I was trying to make it flip out a little bit all the way around, but it came out looking bad so I just flat ironed it back out.) Note: this is one of those times I'm glad I have straight hair. It isn't hard to put it back where it belongs if you try something and it doesn't work out. That took about 20 minutes. Finally I gave up and just threw a flower in my hair. Whatever. Haha.
So, on the way to N. Conway, there was some beautiful scenery. But....you all don't really want to hear about that do you? :P Okay, skip to the first time we see each other.
We arrived first to Applebees, so I was planning to kind of mentally prepare myself for how the date was going to go. I wasn't really sure what was going to happen today, so I was just going to go with the flow basically. Well in the meantime, Mitch had pulled into the parking lot, and by the time I realized he was here he was already walking towards the car. Crap. Guess I'm not preparing anything. Haha! So I stumble out of the car and kind of wait to see what happens. We hug. Awww! We chit chat back and forth about nothing in particular until we enter the restaurant.

My mom picks up the tab for our table, so we get led off to our own table first, then my mom and gram get seated afterwards. Note: we realized it worked out perfectly after all because they could still see us and what was happening, but were out of earshot. Whew. :)
Now, my memory isn't always that great (my mother even testified for me today on her own about that,) but here's some of the cute things I remember from lunch/dinner....does that make it dinch or linner? (I think I like linner.)
1) The Straw Story: Our waiter was awesome, but realized he only had one straw in his apron when he brought our drinks out. As he goes to get another, Mitchell takes the straw, unwraps it, and sticks it in my raspberry iced tea. Awwwww!!!! Yeah, I was kind of excited about that.

2) Hand holding! At the table! WHOA! Like, did you know that can happen? Haha! This was really awesome because I apparently had poor circulation today. (Maybe it came from being nervous, in which case all the blood in your body goes to your core in attempt to keep you alive?) Gotta love biological functions.
3) Intense eye contact. I felt like my soul was being searched and it made me wiggle a little bit. That was a little outside of my comfort zone because that hasn't really happened to me before. But overall, I think I liked it. I hope Mitchell liked whatever it was he saw, even if I did squirm at being put on the spotlight. :)
4) :) <-Exactly. He made me smile and laugh, a lot. Very much a plus.
*5) Five is starred because this isn't necessarily from linner, but just in what I've noticed since talking with him. This guy is brilliant. He very much has his own opinions on just about anything and everything. Seriously, he's like a walking encyclopedia. I just want to pick his brain and learn from him ALL the time. So far I've been able to keep up on what he's asked me my opinions on (ex: Scientiology, what our country has come to, etc,) but I'm even just ok with hearing him rationalize about what his opinions are, and why they are what they are. He's so full of fun facts with just about anything you bring up with him, and I genuinely enjoy just having conversations about nothing in particular with him. Mitchell- you're still perfect. <3
Mkay, back to the date. Lunch was fabulous. Mitchell enjoyed some delicious Chicken Alfredo, and I had a blast with my Grilled Chicken with Garlic (which came with broccoli.) Note: not the best choice in terms of breath freshness and pieces of food stuck in teeth afterwards, but I didn't really want to be licking my fingers after eating Chicken Tenders and then hand holding. I like hand holding. I'm not a fan of passing germs around. :P
At some point my mom came up and shared that we'd be going to Coldstone Creamery for dessert, so after finishing our meal, we went there!
As we were leaving the restaurant, my mom (probably subconsciously, but still nontheless) demonstrated her trust by asking how we were getting to Coldstone's. "So, how are we going to do this? Do you guys want to drive together, or do you all want to come with us, or what?" Yaay! We've demonstrated that Mitchell isn't some serial-killer dude that's going to kill me! Points!

Coldstones=awesome. Everyone got fabulous icecream. This place was important because Mitchell, my mom, my gram, and I all got to talk together as one big group. This gave my mom and gram and Mitchell time to interact with one another, and to do more of the trust-building thing. I think overall it went extremely well. In here Mitchell and I got to playfully gently shouldering one another, and while I was sitting next to him we kind of rubbed our knees together. Awww! ;) Hehe. Oh! And there's a possible trip to Boston to the acquarium with Mitchell and friends (sounds like a movie. hahahaha!) in the beginning of July. This sounds so awesome. We've just got to work out the details, $$$ to go, and transportation. RAWR. I mean, how many ways can one person get to Boston? Train, plane, bus, and automobile. Hahaha. One of those has to cut it. I hope it can work out! I just hope I don't have to drag everyone down because this might have to be a day trip for me. I mean, I'd love to make it an overnight and just go home with Mitch, but I actually have to meet his mom first (which I don't mind, thats okay with me,) and make sure we can work out the details once again.
After Coldstones, my mom and gram decide they want to look at some of the shopping centers. So we go to the Christmas Tree Shop. This first of all makes me miss Ashley. I'M COMING DARLING, HOLD ON UNTIL FRIDAY!!! So after watching Mitch return a cart to it's proper designated return tent (awww!) we walk in the front door. Noodles are for sale. You know, the kind you go swimming with. My urge? Buy like 10 of them and take them with me to 308 to have a HUGE wet noodle fight on our first night there. Seriously, how awesome would that be? THREE stories of college kids running around with a noodle to fight one another. You can't pack in too much more awesome into one event as that. I later found out that Mitchell would have been toes fine with grabbing two and having a mini fight right there in the store, but at the time my grandmother probably wouldn't have approved. :)
Walking around the store was where the physical contact started. Lots more hand holding, palm on my lower back (love that move. :] ) and just general closeness. I'm a big fan. Seriously. I've missed close physical contact like that for a loooong time, and it was SO nice to get some of it back today. Does anybody else notice Mitch's perfecto-meter going up still? ;)

As if this weren't all good enough, my mom and gram started bickering as usual about which way to go and how to get from Point A to Point B. He found this halarious. Which I'm glad of. Sometimes they can get a little scary with one another, but everything today was just really light hearted. I LOVE his laugh so much. It's a really carefree, kick back and REALLY enjoy yourself kind of laugh. I'm glad my family was amusing. :)
The results? All in all today was a fabulous day. I wouldn't have had it any other way, and I hope it wasn't too nervewracking on his side. My family tries not to be intimidating, but I know it doesn't always come across that way. Bottom line: I'm happy again. I haven't been this giddy and excited about a boy in about 4 years. Ryan's even noticing the difference. Seriously, talk to him. :P I'm very happy right now, and I feel like I'm in a good place. Leave some comments about what you read that you liked!
<3 Megan <3
 
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Mmm hmmm...yeah, it really was that good.  I can't wait to spend more time with him, and just bask in the presence of one another.  I'd be really comfortable just getting together to watch a movie as long as I got to be near him.  I forgot how much physical closeness meant to me, not that I really got a lot of it in the past.  It was either annoying because it was all "poke"-based, or not much of anything. 
 
Here's to new beginnings (as I raise my Diet Lipton Green Tea w/ Citrus.)  New beginnings involving re-ignition of the flame for the motivation you need to accomplish any said task, new beginnings in your love life, new beginnings in every and any aspect of your life.  Tell me your stories.  Until next time.
 
Much love and happiness!
 
<3 Megan <3