It's Hot; I'm Melting. Here's My Thoughts on Religion?

I'm pretty positive I can swim through the air today on Cape Cod.  It has been muggy and hot and humid for the past two days, and tomorrow is supposed to be the same.  

I consumed an entire pint of my favorite Ben and Jerry's flavor: Chocolate Fudge Brownie tonight just to cool off, and it worked....for about an hour.

 

There are so many things going through my mind right now between boyfriend stuff, job stuff, and living arrangement stuff for the upcoming months.  There are going to be big changes, ones that I hope I am ready for, and some that I know I'm ready for.

Which is why I continue to be up so late on my days off, thinking about things and hoping for the best for myself.  There are so many unknown variables in my life.  Any decision I make at this point in my life is going to put me on an entirely different life path than I would have been on if I had made the opposite decision.  That's a lot of pressure, much like the episode "Turn Left" in Doctor Who, Season 4, Episode 11.  You can watch it on Netflix or probably look it up on Youtube in parts.

So many things are about to change and I'm about to embark on a completely different life journey.  I want to serve whatever purpose I have in this world and help, touch, and connect with the people I am destined to encounter.  I want to live a comfortable lifestyle, and make sure I do whatever I can to become fully financially independent from my family all the while creating a comfortable living atmosphere and environment for myself and whomever I choose to share my life with.  I hope to be the best person I can be, and to really immerse myself in the experience of living, and working hard for that living.  I want to know that I am earning every dollar I make, and that I am dedicating myself to being the best version of myself I can possibly be.

Life/Karma has a way of returning to you whatever you deserve.  I want to put as many positive vibes in the universe not just so that I can get something good back out of it at the end of the day, but just so that I know I am sending as much positive energy into this universe as possible.  Period.  I don't want to be the person that is good and does good because s/he knows that s/he will be getting a reward for doing so, but because I feel it is the right thing to do.  

I'm not sure why I'm having this huge deep, defining moment of my life at 12:30 am when I feel like I'm sweating out every single toxin in my body, or why it feels so New Age-y, but I suppose in moments of stress/distress is when a lot of "Aha!" moments happen.  Perhaps I work best under pressure?

I suppose I've always been a New Age spiritualist.  I was baptized Catholic as a child, but once my Mom and I moved on, we stopped going to church.  I do believe there is some higher power out there, but I don't necessarily think it is one all-encompassing god (or goddess for that matter).  I think of this higher power like a huge diamond in the sky, with many different facets.  These facets reflect down on the world  creating different perspectives; gods, and goddesses in all different regions across the globe.  However, each of these higher powers stem from the same source.  When I decide to do my form of "praying", I pray generally to all gods and goddesses, (1) because I'm sure in many cases I need all the help I can get, and (2) because I don't want to offend any gods/goddesses that do exist in case they do come in different entities.  

When I do pray, I try to keep myself in perspective and not wish for a certain outcome in a situation.  I ask only that I am guided to whatever path I am supposed to be on, and that things will work out for me in the grand scheme of things "for the greater good".  I know that sometimes life hurls challenges at you right and left, but they're to help you learn, grow, and become stronger for the next set of obstacles you have to face.  I feel like everything is all a part of a grand design.  Again, as I mentioned in a previous post, this doesn't give you the free reign to let the cards fall where they may.  You still have the ability to make choices, and to decide if you will step up to the plate and face the challenges that are coming at you.  You have the ability to live a better life and to make better choices for yourself.  

Finally, my environmentalist side comes out.  I feel that all Earthly creatures come from the Earth, and are returned to the Earth (in both a physical and spiritual way).  When I die, I hope I am not buried in a casket.  I would like to be returned to the world in the most natural way possible.  I want to decompose directly in the ground without being protected by a wooden casket, be cremated, or (as terrible as this sounds), be returned to the ocean to be eaten by fish and sea creatures.  Seriously, what is the point of being protected in a casket?  You're dead.  Just let nature take you back.  I know this sounds like a grotesque, horror movie scene, but really, I don't want to use more of the Earth's materials to give me a "proper burial".  I just want to be left in piece(s) [see what I did there?] to be consumed again by nature, and folded back into the planet like a nice pizza dough.

I'm not sure whether I believe in reincarnation per se.  But I believe that we have a symbiotic relationship with the Earth we come from.  Just because we are human doesn't mean we have the right to overpopulate and destroy the miracles of life, peace, and solace on this planet.  We are no greater than the common squirrels, shrimp, or dung beetle that also exist on this planet.  In the grand scheme of things, we are all just a life form trying to survive.  So why do us humans continue to do nearly everything we can to ruin or spoil life-when so little of it already exists?  Greed.  Lust for power.  The power to feel "human" emotions.  The same components that "set us apart" from other life forms-a brain to think with and process complicated situations.  A brain with emotions when once corrupted, ruins life for all others nearby.

Sorry that this just turned into a very political rant.  But it's how I feel.  We come from this planet.  Ingesting all of these synthetic materials and man-made toxins are not doing us any favors.  Notice how you feel better after eating a wholesome turkey sandwich with cheddar cheese on whole grain bread and veggies over a McDonald's value meal?  (Don't get me wrong-I do love the taste of McDonald's food).  But the food is probably mostly synthetic.  It's bad for you, brings more toxins and salts/fats into your body that most people typically don't need, and leaves you hungry for more later on.  Whatever chemicals are used in the food create sort of an addiction.  Once you go to "splurge" once, it's hard to resist the temptation to do it again.  

Also, apparently the nuggets from McDonald's melt into liquid?  "One former McDonald’s employee warned against the chicken nuggets recalling: ‘I accidentally left a whole bag of about 100 chicken nuggets out on a counter for way too long. They melted. Into a pool of liquid. I never understood why. But they were completely indiscernible as being the nuggets I once knew."  Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2173221/Chicken-nuggets-dirty-ice-dont-dare-touch-ketchup-bottle-The-dangers-fast-food-choices-people-work-joints.html#ixzz20qwB8iiP

Anyway-back to my point.  The reason you feel better after eating the turkey sandwich is because it's made of wholesome products coming directly from nature.  All of the nutrients are still in the food, and it doesn't leave you CRAVING more hours later.  You also feel better about yourself for making a healthy choice over the easy way out.  Plus, your body runs better once it has all of these nutrients coming more directly from nature.  

All of these things are suddenly coming back to the forefront as I'm thinking about my life and how I want to lead it.  So what, I'm most comfortable being a New Age spiritualist?  So what I actually own my own Tarot Deck (not that I use it often, but I hope to remedy that once I have my own place that isn't in a college dormitory)?  So what I perceive my "god" to be a little different than yours?  This doesn't make me a bad person.  This doesn't mean I'm messing with the dark forces of the universe and am opening doors that I don't know how to close.  This means I'm living life as best I can, and doing what I can to make my home on Earth as good a place as possible, while accepting a little help and guidance from my friends in the big diamond in the sky every so often.  

As soon as I am home with access to my candles again, I shall light one and reflect on every other person in the world who is at the same life transition place as myself.  We have lots of big choices to make, and not a lot of time to make these choices.  This is the biggest life transition of them all-leaving the house for good, spreading our wings, and learning how to fly.  We could all use a little luck and guidance right now.

From my brain to yours,

Megan

Stream 3: A Proposition

I was talking with Ashley recently about plus size fashion and how frustrating it can be for me to go shop for new clothes.  Pretty much my entire wardrobe comes from Lane Bryant.  This isn't inherently a good or bad thing-but obviously it severely limits my style, choices, and affordable options.

I would enjoy looking through and shopping at a Torrid or Forever 21 (F21) Plus, but those don't really exist in Vermont.  Also, Torrid is in about the same price range as Lane Bryant, which means my family (mom and gram, specifically) buy pretty much all my clothes for me.  We're always in the store together so I can still get the clothes I pick out, but I can't wait to be financially independent and able to afford to buy my own clothes.

Smaller women have so many more options on where to shop.  This allows them the freedom to create their own sense of style, dress how they want to be perceived on any particular day, and have the flexibility in price ranges.  Not so with plus size women.  Bodies come in many different shapes and sizes.  Why should those of us who are bigger be left out of the fashion world because smaller women are more readily accepted as be beauty standard in society?

As it stands, unless you want to dress in bulky unflattering sweats purchased from your local drug store or wear skin tight clothing 2-3 sizes too small, you better have the money to afford the $50-$100 price range for a typical, average piece of clothing.  See?  Things can get pretty desperate.

So--I propose a revolution.  Plus size women and designers, gear up and take Fashion Week by storm next year.  Let's team up with some other INCREDIBLE designers and find or INVENT new cuts that make us look smokin'.  A-line, empire or high-waisted dresses do not always fit plus size women the way that they are intended to flatter smaller bodies and frames.  Let's get creative, think outside the box, and make something incredible for the plus size ladies.

Let's not be defined by our limitations.  Let's dress the way we want, the way that brings out our inner beauty, our inner strength.  Let's make plus size clothing and fashion affordable.  And lastly, let's remember that every body is beautiful.  Every woman deserves the chance to showcase all the beauty that her body holds.

From my brain to yours,

Megan

Tribute To Eden and My Biology Class

This post is actually relevant to the topic of my blog!  I know I have had some pretty long lapses in time between blog posts, but I'm still thinking about you, blogosphere, even while I'm waiting for inspiration to strike before writing.

Now-to the subject at hand.

Our friend Eden does a lot of things that I'm sure she isn't aware of.  I'm not sure if any of her friends have said these things to her, but I'm going to explain why I love Eden so much, and what she does for me that makes me want to improve upon myself.

Every time I see Eden, she is always very conscious about the way she smells.  She almost always has perfume with her that she'll keep on hand to freshen up throughout the day.  This has inspired me through high school and even into college to invest in good perfumes that last with me throughout the day.  More recently, she's inspired me to keep a small bottle of some perfume with me at all times-just for when you need that extra oomph.  This isn't health-related specifically, but it's always just nice to smell good.  Smelling nice gives you a little more confidence, and if you're wearing perfume that you like, every time you smell yourself you get to smile.  And smile even more when you get compliments rolling in.  :)

I first heard about her being on Weight Watchers my senior year of high school.  I joined and over time I lost 15 lbs on it!  Unfortunately, I discontinued my membership because I thought I was going to be able to do it on my own.  At the time, I was losing weight and toning up because of Champlain Loses It, but after I got home for the summer....that all got thrown out the window.  245lbs was as low as I was able to get.  My body usually regulates itself around 260-and my goal is to get to 180.   This amounts to about 80 lbs that I (still) have to lose.  What a long journey. 

In addition to just wanting to look fit, healthy, and "normal", I'm scared about what may happen if I don't lose the weight.  My grandfather has diabetes, and the majority of my family has heart problems and cholesterol/blood pressure issues.  I've been very lucky in that I have had excellent blood pressure my whole life, but that may not be the case another 5 years from now.  I want to add as many years to my life as possible, rather than deduct from them.  I love life.  I love Ryan, Ashley, Velvet, Rosie, Eden, and ALL of my wonderful, fabulous friends.  And I'm still very much in like with Mitchell.  I don't want to die before having a full, long life with everybody.  I also know that the longer I wait to lose this weight, the harder it is going to be.  Time to bite the bullet and get to it.

Aside from Eden injecting my with HUGE amounts of inspiration (she makes losing weight and staying toned look so easy and I know-probably more than most-that it isn't,) I have been taking my Intro to Biology class this summer.  These last 2 weeks my classmates have been giving their presentations on whatever topic they chose to research.  My friend Beth who sits next to me in class decided to research nutrition and what effects certain foods have on the body-and exactly how these foods affect your body (on a cellular level.)  Her presentation has recently give me that extra push I needed to get back on track.  I'm so sick and tired of having all this extra tummy flubber, and my gut.  I want so badly to be able to fit into a size 14/16 and feel hot, not just pretty when I'm walking down the street.  P.S.-ever notice how "pretty" is such a wimpy word?  Like, oh, well, you're ALMOST beautiful, but not quite.  So-you're just pretty.  I want to be recognized and appreciated for being as beautiful as I am.  I don't meant to say that in a conceited, narcissistic way, just a positive self-image way.  (Yet another thing Eden has inspired me to think of.)  I don't always have the best self-image, and I often burn myself out for other people.  She is like a breath of fresh air in the sense that she reminds me that I shouldn't be settling for other people.  I need to put people in my life who are on my level, and who are positive and who are going to recognize me and how awesome I am.  I shouldn't have to change everything I am for someone, they should accept me as I am or move on.

Lastly, both Eden and Beth inspire me to eat to be healthy and to make my body function correctly-not just eat to eat.  Eden gets SO excited about the Lyndonville Farmer's Market.  I love seeing how excited she gets about buying a whole head of local lettuce for $3.00, or water chestnuts at the grocery store.  Beth's presentation touched upon how it's probably better to stick with getting your vitamins and minerals from the food source itself, rather than through a supplement.  The reason it may be better is because of the way your body processes minerals in a supplement (pill), versus minerals found in natural food.  Vitamins and minerals found in a natural food source get digested through your intestines-and therefore are processed the way your body is supposed to process these nutrients.  If you take a pill for Vitamin B, it'll get digested through your liver, which is an entirely different process.  Maybe your body won't get as much of a benefit from a supplement versus digesting the actual food it is found in naturally.  Whoa.  Intense, huh?  Of course, if you aren't eating the right foods to get the vitamins and minerals, a supplement is perfectly acceptable.  You need to get certain nutrients into your body one way or another.  And if a pill form is the only way you can make that happen, well then have at it!

I'm noticing that I can't just do one or the other.  Everything under the category of "health" is interconnected.  Mental health, emotional health, and physical health.  If you are mentally and emotionally not well, then your physical health may begin to break down.  It makes sense.  An easy example of this is when you're trying to fall asleep, but you've got so much on your mind and you're so stressed out that you can't get to sleep for hours.  You then wake up the next day exhausted, more stressed, and really unhappy most of the day.  It only stands to reason that you can't improve upon one part of yourself without also working at least on some other part of yourself-on some level.  I mean, as you're losing weight don't you start to feel more confident and buoyant in your own body?  That's a positive connection.  You're physically taking care of your body, and your body rewards you with a happier mental/emotional state.  Awesome!

I've been exceedingly frustrated with my food situation here at home this summer.  I'm finally getting through to my family that I want more fruits and vegetables.  I'm sick of ice cream, bread, Lay's potato chips, and junk food.  I want more fiber and protein in my diet, and I want to have the freedom to make my own choices.  I'm in love with Dannon Light N' Fit yogurts and then adding granola in them.  I can't remember if I've done a little segment on how good yogurt is for you, but it's supposed to help with the bacteria all throughout your digestive system for the most part-specifically in your mouth and stomach.  Also for females-it's supposed to support vaginal health too.  Kind of cool that you get all those benefits from one food, huh?  That's like a 3 for 1 deal!  Think $ALE, ladies!

To wrap up.  All of these things floating around in my head this summer have really just all hit me tonight.  I'm determined to get myself back on Weight Watchers.  It's $30 to sign up, and then you have an option for doing a 3-month plan or a monthly one.  I'm thinking of going with the 3 month plan, and having it be taken care of for the majority of this semester.  As soon as a pay my credit card down so I have money freed up, I'm putting myself on WW.  Yes I have textbooks to buy, and I'll get them eventually.  But I need to start seriously taking care of myself.  I need to lose this weight for my physical wellbeing, my mental wellbeing, and my emotional wellbeing.  I'm sick of stressing and crying over my weaknesses in all of these areas.  It's time to build Warrior Megan.  Someone who can run (eventually-okay, maybe light jogging?,) someone who can have the mental strength to make it through my semesters of school without a breakdown, and someone who is so sure of herself and confident in herself to know exactly what she wants in a relationship-and not settle for anything less.  (Well, maybe a few exceptions here and there-relationships require growth as a team-give and take.)  But, at least a basic, solid foundation of what I won't settle for.  You don't tailor yourself to fit the dress, you tailor that dress to fit you-and so forth.  LOL!

For now-I am determined to help save the world and my own life by making smarter choices.  I know that diet is only half the battle-the other half lies in physical labor/exercise.  But, one thing at a time.  When I get back to Burlington I'll be much more active, and I'll be enrolled in Zumba classes again.  I'm going to do my best to cut back severely on all processed foods, work on eating more natural foods, and find foods that make my body work well for me.  It's a lot to put together all at once, I agree.  But, unfortunately in my own mind-it's necessary.  I just need to continue channeling my muse, Eden, and her excitement about beets and other vegetables.  They do your body good.

Until next time. 

Much love!
<3 Megan <3

Mr. Scarborough: Part 2

Copied and pasted from FaceBook!  Hope you all enjoy!

First off, thanks to all of you who are interested in what's going on with Mr. Scarborough, and for all your continued support. Many of you have been SUPEREXCITED to hear how my trip to Maine went, so here's a glimpse to hopefully satisfy all of you. :)




_____ _____ _____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____



Ding! Ding! Round two! On Tuesday I took a nice, short, leisurely 3.5 hour drive to Scarborough, ME to see Mitchell (formerly Mr. Scarborough.)



Before the fact, I again woke up 2 hrs before I had scheduled myself to leave and commenced with my preparation for the day. 30 minutes to wake up and eat breakfast, 2 minutes deciding what to wear, 15 minutes in the shower, 10 minutes actually getting dressed and brushing hair and teeth (not with the same brush, mind you,) 5 minutes double checking the ingredient lists on my shamoo, lotions, and deoderant to make sure nothing contained anything coconut (Mitchell is allergic. [:(]), 3 minutes finding and applying mascara (which again doesn't happen often-but it adds that extra oomph,) 20 minutes running around gathering items to throw in a bag "just in case," 10 minutes assuring my grandmother I'll be fine and not to worry, 10 minutes at Cumby's to gas up and grab a lunch for when I got closer to Maine, 5 minutes in Kinney's grabbing MORE last-minute stuff (3 of which were spent talking to Dorothy about 3 kids that died in a car crash in our town the night before,) 1.5 minutes on the phone to let Mitchell know I'm FINALLY leaving, and 2 minutes to drive out of the parking lot and to leave Lyndonville. I'm off!



[Insert 3.5 hours of uneventful driving here with an awesome soundtrack including songs such as: According to You-Orianthi, Follow Me-3OH3!, OMG-Usher, Shots-Lil Jon, LoveGame-Lady Gaga, Just Dance-Lady Gaga, TiK ToK-Ke$ha, Blah Blah Blah-Ke$ha, Defying Gravity, Don't Stop Believing, Imagine, It's My Life/Confessions, Smile (Lily Allen), Taking Chances, 4 Minutes-All from Glee, Jumpin' Jumpin'-Destiny's Child, Say My Name-Destiny's Child, Affirmation-Savage Garden, No Scrubs-TLC.]



"278, 276, 274...oh, come on! It's gotta be here somewhere! 258, 256....oh...crap. FML!" This was my internal dialogue while trying to find Mitch's house after finally finding his road. (There are like 3 roads that are actually one, but the name changes the further along the road you get. Kind of like Newark Rd/St...whatever. LOL.) Of course, I missed it the first time by, but then I had to find a place to pull over (5 minutes down the road) to call my gram to let her know I got to Maine safely, as promised. I felt like if I pulled into Mitch's driveway and then proceeded to sit in the car on my cellphone that that may come across as sketchy and stalkerish. Not the best way to come across when first visiting someone's home. Haha.



Anywho, I turned around after I got off the phone, and drove by it-again. WTF?! Why am I SO good at finding people's houses? FINALLY I pulled in the driveway. Phew.



Now, here's where more confusion begins. There's a front door, and a door through the garage into the house. Way to make it easy for me, Mitchell. The walkway to the front door looked promising, so I decided to try that first. No response. Awesome. Way to make an ass out of myself before even getting inside. "Well, this is awkward," I muttered as I turned away to go try the garage door next. Too late. Just as I finished talking out loud to myself and turned around, there he was at the end of the walkway. Fabulous, now he probably thinks I am a mental case as well. Just wondeful. :)



BUT-now I'm not the one that appears sketchy and stalkerish. He just stood at the end of the walkway and stared at me until I figured out the other door would be a better way to get into the house. Hahaha. Nice.



Going into the garage was fun. I got to meet Winston (the Pug,) and Jacob (the auburn Golden Retriever) tied up just outside. SOOO CUTE! Inside the house was pretty fun too. It was designed to draw people to the living room/kitchen area which I found very clever. I met Lily (KITTYYYY!!!!) in the living room, and got to see the rest of the house. It was gorgeous, and spotless like Mitchell had told me before- despite 3 pets living there.



I got shown his bedroom and the computer room-the two most frequented-by-Mitchell rooms in the house (except the computer room is more so.) The Guest Bedroom (Mitchell's room) was really very sparce. Of course, it kind of has to be, incase everything falls apart some night and he's out a place to live. His bed was really squishy and comfy-and big! People that have bigger-than-a-twin-sized bed facinate me. I've slept in a twin my entire life-which doesn't really provide or promote cuddling opportunities. :(



Oh! Then I got to see an album full of pictures of Mitchell growing up and excelling in school. Mitch=adorable child. (And is now a perfect man <3). I may have to look at this album again later when I'm sitting down and am really able to focus in and study it. All in all though, I loved it.



After seeing this and two of his PUBLISHED POEMS (that's right, my man is totally awesome,) we were a little at a loss for what to do next. Mitchell showed me a few things online (including a game called Plants v. Zombies.) My mom would love it. Eventually we decided to drive to the beach.



For some reason, Mitch decided that he liked watching me drive, then teased me about how cautious a driver I was. Hey! I actually learned to, you know, STOP at stop signs in Driver's Ed, apparently unlike you crazy Maine people. Haha!



We got to drive through downtown Portland-except I didn't really know what I was doing because some lanes aren't really marked well. We made it unscathed, even if some drivers were probably like, "Stupid Out-of-Stater." LMFAO. Also, there was a sketchy homeless man that we had to avoid, so that was fun, too. Haha.



BEEEAAAACCCCHHH!!!!!!!!!!!



The ocean was beautiful. There wasn't spectacular visiblility, but the sun was out and the breeze was relatively warm (and so was Mitchell.) :)



We walked along the beach, and playfully shoved each other. We talked, we cuddled, we sat, we cuddled some more, we became a couple, we bonded. It was really fabulous. Oh yeah, we kissed too. [Insert pre-teen squealing here.] I missed being intimate with someone more than I realized. Apparently I have soft lips? I mean, I thought lips were supposed to be soft all on their own? Maybe not. If not, I guess I'm lucky. He is too. :) (For those of you who are like me and sometimes need extra prompting, that was me saying that Mitchell has soft lips, too.)



On the way back to his house, we took the highway which bypassed Portland's heavy traffic.



Maine is such an interesting state. The majority of it looks like VT, but on the trip down to the ocean, there was a section that reminded me of Burlington, a section that reminded me of the hills in San Francisco (although I've never actually been there,) and downtown Portland that reminded me of Montreal. WTF?! I mean, it's cool. But just not what I'm used to. =)



Getting back to the house after stopping to grab cheap gas at Sam's Club (whooo hoooo!!!) we only had a few minutes before his mom came home from work.



After a few minutes of mindless banter back and forth when she finally got home, Mitchell decided to make us scarce until she decompressed from work. So, we decided to go lay down for an hour. YAY! CUDDLE TIME! We just layed in each other's arms and chatted back and forth for a while until Mitchell fell asleep. He's so comfy! Mitchell now =s Megan's new favorite body pillow. =)



About an hour later, we were up. After more wonderful kissing, we went into the computer room so I could watch him play an expert game of League of Legends (abbreviated to LoL) so I could learn something. Well, I don't know how much I learned, but maybe with time and experience it will all come to me.



Mitchell's mom ended up getting a little testy because the one game went longer than originally intended, and supper was ready. So, begrudgingly he left the game, and we went to grab supper. Chicken Alfredo. YESSS!!! We joined his mom and stepdad on the screened-in back porch, and made more small talk. Dinner overall went very well. I had a hard time eating due to my untimely wisdom tooth trying to shoulder its way into my mouth, but I just took my time and ate until I was full. Overall, dinner=success.



Soon after this, Mitchell decided to go grab gas for his car at Sam's Club, so I went with. If you think MY driving is interesting, you should check HIS out. Psh. LMFAO! It's okay though, it makes for an interesting ride.



When we returned "home", I unfortunatley had to get going. It was about 7:30 at night, and I needed to be able to read my directions. After a few kisses, nuzzles, and hugs, I left. :'( (There really wasn't any crying, but it was very sad.)



Leaving is always the hardest part. Getting there is so easy because you have all this time ahead of you to do whatever you want. Next thing you know, it's time to go. When you leave, everything is uncertain. You don't know when you'll see each other next, you don't want to let the person go even though you HAVE to, and you don't want to put miles and miles of distance between the two of you. It's just sucky all around.



On the way home, I got lost by missing a turn somewhere, and ended up near Oxford, ME. Eventually I just decided to follow routes heading West and North which is where I needed to go to get home. I don't think I acutally lost much time by getting lost. Once I found Conway, NH again, I definitely knew where I was and then booked it home.



All in all? Not a bad day, not a bad day at all. Mitchell makes me very happy, and he's good TO me and FOR me. We're both in this relationship for the long haul, so who knows where we'll end up. For now, I'm just along for the ride. And as long as there are no other cars at an intersection, who really needs to stop? <3

Snowball/Jeanne Mance/Successes/Failures

Well, hello everyone!

I've been a slacker lately.  I'm so caught up in my day to day life that things have started to slide on the blogosphere side of my life.

SO, to catch up, let's start with snowball:

These are snapshots of the evening.  Hahaha.  Amid all the completely inebriated people in the center of the dance floor, the rest of us had a GREAT time with the chocolate fountain (FONDUE!!!!)  and some of the music.  Top Hat Entertainment could have probably done a little bit of a better job, but we were able to do the Hand Jive, so then it was all good. :)

Now, let's talk about Jeanne Mance!  AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I received the BEST massage in the past 8 years from Ryan.  It felt so goooood.  We made a special trip to Rite Aid to get baby oil, and a water fountain.  Mmmmmm hmmm.....it was awesome.   We made a Zen Tent, and a new phrase: "It's ZEN TIME, WHAT?"  Yes, things are strange.

Later in the evening, we decided to get Wings for supper.  After calling and waiting for 45 mins, Wings calls Ryan's cell phone.  Joe BOOKS it down the stairs.  When Ryan and I arrive, there are like 4-5 guys lined up against the wall with police officers reading them their rights.  We don't know what happened, but it had to do with alcohol and being on campus.  To see the supposed dialogue, check out Ryan's blog: http://ryhowland.blogspot.com/

Ryan and I just completed a V-Day mailing package to go out to everybody.  It was pretty epic!  Hahahaha.  We've got letters going to L-ville, Barre, and Florida.  Toes!!!!  Let's just blanket our country with 308 Luv!

As far as successes and failures, I'm surviving school.  I don't particularly enjoy a few of my classes this semester, but I'm plugging through them.  I just wish the next three months would hurry up and be done because I'm basically ready to go home and spend time with my family and Ryan.  Granted, I wish I could also go visit Velvet and Ashley at their respective homes in NY and Mass, but it is what it is.

As far as plans for next year, Ryan and I are still planning to hop a plane to Florida over Thanksgiving break.  Mmmmm hmmm....pictures to come!  Hahahahha.  Cannot wait.  Taking a plane (or two!) by ourselves is going to be pretty amazing, and I feel like I'll feel MUCH more like an adult when that is able to happen.  Can't wait!

I believe that's about it as of right now.  I'm (immensely) enjoying being a single woman, and I plan to enjoy it until I feel I'm ready to try dating again.  I love being able to go out with my friends and not feel guilty about not being ONLINE for 7hrs every night talking about the same things day after day.  I really do feel free, and I'm going to enjoy that freedom to it's fullest extent.

Much Love!  IT'S ZEN TIME, WHAT?!

Love, Megan

Sore Throat and Filling-less

So I am currently home on my Thanksgiving Break.  My brain is thanking me up and down--it isn't screaming at me in agony anymore.  Whoo hoo!!!  Friday night when I got back home, I went to go see New Moon.  LOVE THAT MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!  2 Hours of pure Awesomeness.

Yesterday I went to go get my hair cut.  LOVE ITTT!!!  It's so much lighter and I can't wait to wash it myself to see what I can do with it on my own.  Yesterday I also went to the dentist thinking that I was supposed to be getting a filling.  Nope, not even.  Just a "First Time Patient Exam."  Sounds miraculous, right?  Yeah, NOT.  While doing the exam, they found about 3 MORE CAVATIES that need to be filled=4 in total. WTF?!  My previous dentist hadn't seen these, why are these people finding them all over the place.  And it's not like I don't brush my teeth....so what's up with this?

Anywho, $131 later for the exam and 2 mini- X-Rays they took ($30 a pop,) I went to work at Kinneys from 4-9.  I couldn't even do that right.  Ever since I've been home, I've had this sort of nasal drip into the back of my throat.  My nose isn't running or even that stuffed up, but my throat has been dry and scratchy since I got here.  Well I thought nothing of it until I was at work and it was getting to the point to which I couldn't swallow, talk, or smile.  Yeah, FML.

So now that I have just woken up from my 12 hour slumber, I feel extensively better, although my throat is still a bit sore.

Now that I'm home--all I want to do with my free time is sleep, relax, and do the things I want to do.  However, I am supposed to have an internship confirmed by next Friday.  I am terrified.  Meg and I worked on my Resume and a Cover letter for about 2.5 hours last Friday night which helped immensely, but I feel like I'm drowning in panic.  I don't know what to do!  I'm in Lyndonville, so it isn't like I can just skip right on over for an interview today.  :(  And now that my throat is sore, I don't think I could even do a phone interview.  Again, FML.

I also have homework that I have been working on interspersedly.  (The motivation comes and goes.)  All I really want to be doing is curling up in my bed with my Twilight series and re-reading all the Epic Adventures of Edward and Bella and Jason for the rest of my vacation.

ARGGGHHHHHHHH.  It's ok though.  Hopefully this time next year I will be on the beach, drinking Fuze and getting sun with Ryan. :)  TOES going to be awesome. :)

Wednesday night (now--only if I'm feeling better,) I was/(am?) planning to go down to B-town to pick Velvet up and have her spend the night at my house.  Why?  Because Thursday is Thanksgiving, silly!  She had to stay up here this week to work while everyone else got to go home on break.  And I felt awful that she wasn't going to be able to have a Turkey din din, SO I'm taking a little road trip after I get out of work at 9pm Wednesday evening and picking up my girl!  I have an entourage of people coming with me to do so, so this should be interesting. :)

I will end by saying how much I miss my roommates, Ryan & Velvet, and being at college in general.  Being home is nice to recoup, but I still miss being able to walk down to Champ Farms at 2am just to buy gummy bears. :)

Much Love.
~Megan