Who Needs a Penis Partner, Anyway?

It took me a long time to come up with a title for this blog.  There were so many messages i wanted to convey all at once, as well as a few key emotions.  This post is dedicated to all you men out there.  Those of you who like to play women like stringed instruments, those of who who "would love to hook up," and also to those of you who actually respect women, want to treat them right, and are looking for one of your very own.  Although I'm actively on the prowl for one of the latter, I keep finding myself coming across the first two.

I find myself writing this blog with Frankee's F.U.R.B. playing in the background.  How fitting!  (I haven't had a relationship experience like the one explained in the song, but, it's very satisfying to sing along to at the moment.)

It has been four months since my breakup with my last boyfriend.  He treated me extremely well, but he hasn't yet figured out a way to treat himself well.  I've found that I can't be with someone who doesn't respect himself.

As for my most recent endeavours, I've opened a personal ad on Sevendays.com so that I can try to find someone in Burlington that might be looking for a relationship.  (Check me out at: http://sevendays.selectalternatives.com/gyrobase/Personals/Profile?person=oid%3A783834 ).  *Note-I'm not a paying memeber so if I like you, I can't send you a message. :(* 

So far, I've had two guys e-mail me on the site only looking for hookups.  One graduated this past weekend and was looking for a weekend affair, the other was 36 years old.  Ick! Creeper!

The third person I've tried to attempt to make a connection with is someone I had a few classes with this past semester.  Long story short: guys you meet in person and spend some time with who seem like nice, genuine, caring people are ALSO a$$holes.  I asked him to lunch/dinner, and he asked for the way into my pants.  What hope is there if even the people you spend time with in person turn out to be dicks, too?

Right....so, apparently guys love me...as a hookup.  (Which is suprising conisdering I'm a few pounds worse for the wear, but I do try to take care of myself.)  I'm flattered and everything, but I need someone with a bit more class.  Oh yeah, and as an afterthought...don't tell a potential hookup you have a girlfriend after you've asked to hook up with her, and/or while still trying to hook up with her.

*Sigh*  So, obviously I haven't had much luck with this whole dating thing.  I've never been much good at it to begin with, but the past two weeks have just been EPIC fail.  RAWR!

It's easy to see now why so many people give up on love.  It's so hard to earn, and yet so easy to lose.  I find that I'm really enjoying trying to meet new people, but trying to wade through the endless supply of $hitty guys is bringing me down just a little.  Can't I have just one successful date?  Is this really what the world has come to?  No, I refuse to believe it.  There's got to be someone out there who's meant to be with me.  Hopefully he'll find me before I'm 63 and needing a hip replacement...

As a more realistic goal, I would like to find myself having gone on at least one successful date by the time I'm 21.  You see, in the past, the way all my relationships have developed has been by me creating a close realtionship with a guy, and then it just naturally developing into an exclusive relationship.  Now I want to try dating by going in the other end of the spectrum; dating around until I find someone I like and who likes me back, and THEN moving into a mutually exclusive relationship.  I want that experience so bad I can almost taste it.  But, as usual, I will continue to remain patient-not that I have much chocie.  Things will work out in the end--they have to.

To all you Players: grow up.  Really?  Like, really?!  Good luck feeling good about yourself.  The human conscience is a glorious and powerful thing.  You'll get yours someday when you find out the one girl you wanted played you better than a 50 year old fiddler!

To all you lovely, "I'd Love to Hook Up" guys, f**k off.  Thanks, but no thanks.  My heights are set a little higher than that. 

And to all of you Good Guys out there-please don't give up on dating because of the catty, superfluous women out there.  If you normally go for skinny blondes, try the pretty plus-size redhead sitting by herself.  She's probably got more to offer in brains AND in body.  (But of course, you're the Good Guys, so you should know this already.)

To everyone out there Searching For Love either actively or passivley, don't give up.  There's someone out there for everyone.  I feel it.  If you're a guy looking for a girl like me, keep looking.  I'm searching for you, too.

I'm finished venting for the day.  Guys are fabulous, but for right now, who needs a penis partner, anyway?

Love Always,
Megan

It's All Coasting From Here on Out

So, I realized that I never did post about my EHS Honors Dinner.  Other than almost getting run over after the event (Nadia'd-for those of you who watch LOST,) it was really uneventful.  We sat down at our dinner tables with some water and/or lemonade:

Mmmmmmmmmmmm...

After everyone had gone through the buffet line, we had our nice meal.  After the meal, the award-presenting commenced.  I was more toward the end of the program, but it was still very nice.  Ann (Fred's wife) walked me up by holding my hand, and presented me to the audience:

Ann and Fred are both my professors for the Social Work Program, so it was really fabulous to have everyone there!  Also, the lady in the blue shirt in that last picture is Tawnya, she is another SWK faculty member who will essentially be taking Fred's place when he retires in another year.  Nobody can truly replace Fred, but Tawnya is going to do her best!

________________________________

On to other activities, TODAY IS MY LAST DAY OF CLASS!!!!  YESTERDAY WAS MY LAST DAY OF COR!!!!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!  Yes, I am very pumped.  This has been a long time coming.  Yesterday was ALSO the last day of my internship for the semester, so things are FINALLY wrapping up.

I just want to say that I couldn't have done this without the unwavering support of Ryan, Ashley, Velvet, and my family.  You guys truly are the best there is, and I want to thank you all for putting up with my stressful, crazy antics whenever things went to crap for me this semester.  If I had like, $500 to give each of you, I'd toes do that.  :) 

(But I don't, so forget it.)  Haha <3

In terms of stress relief....yeah, well, here, let me show you.

Mmmm hmmm.  That's what we do with our life. 

So, all in all, I think I can breathe again.  I'm scared to go home this summer and to see what is going to happen when I have nobody to hang out with.  I don't want to spend my entire summer at work and/or locked away in my room.  I want to get outside, go be active, and do something with my life.  I want to explore some nautre trails, but unfortunately you need someone with you when you go do that.  Sooo...I don't know. 

I do plan on trying to organize a big party at Willoughby by picking a day in mid-July or so, and seeing if we can just get a MASS of people to show up on the same day just to hang out, and enjoy the gorgeous weather.  I'm really looking forward to that, so hopefully that will happen!

I'm also nervous about when I go home that I will have nothing to write about the entire summer other than posts like, "My life sucks.  I work.  I eat.  I sleep.  The end."  I want to write some witty, funny things that keep you all entertained!  Other than Ryan creating a summer reading list and a lesson plan for me to follow this summer, I'm really afraid of just wasting away with nothing to do.  I love hanging out with my family, but after so many days of work to family to work to family, you kind of need something else.  (No offense to all of you at home! I love you, but I need people my own age, too.)  :) <3 

My CCV course will help keep me occupied with some stuff though, so that's good.  I wish I could find more nature spots to go and just sit and get away from the computer without being eaten alive by mosquitos, or being afraid of getting myself lost by going too deeply into the woods.  I'm thinking of maybe spending some time at N. beach out at Willoughby, but we'll see.  I think I'm going to be stuck with paying for gas money to get to classes and back this summer as well, so I need to be aware of what my travel habits are like.

Another topic I'm thinking about lately is boys.  I feel as though I'm ready to move on.  Now that Luke and I have had some space from one another, I don't see myself as a "part" of him anymore.  He is his own person and I am too, and I realize that I don't feel bound to him any longer.  It's really fabulous, really.  I don't mean that in the sense that I am bashing him in any way, but I'm realizing that I think I've been ready to move on probably for about a year now, so I'm glad it has finally happened.  I feel like a much stronger person.  I don't feel guilty about going out with my friends at night when I "should" be home on the computer talking to him.  I actually want to go out and be active with people now.  If you had talked to me about a year ago, I would probably have turned down plans to go out simply because I would miss a night talking to my boyfriend.  Yeah, kind of shitty right?  Well, I have moved on and I want to start looking again.

I realized that I often have trouble just getting to meet people.  So I was thinking of making a profile through Seven Days and posting to see if anybody may be interested.  Seven Days is a very public/weekly publication for the Burlington area, so if I find that I haven't had luck flirting this summer, perhaps I will post something for next semester.  I really do like being single, but I also miss the intimate part of being in a relationship.  And by that I don't mean just missing sex, but I just miss being held.  I miss feeling safe and warm and loved in someone's arms.  I mean, I can certainly live without that if I have to, but I would prefer not to.  Basically, Megan is on the prowl again.  If you or someone you know is interested in dating her, please tell her or forward her their contact information!  I feel as though I may have some free time to pencil them in this summer. ;)  Hahahaha. <3

Until next time!

<3 Megan <3

RYAN COMES BACK TODAY!!!!!!!!!

Hi, everyone!

Yesterday was Saturday night.  Guess what I did?  NO! NOT that, you pervs!  Actually, I stayed in with some of my best friends in the world--Velvet and Ashley, and did all of my homework.  Anyone care to know my reasoning for doing something so DISPICABLE on a SATURDAY night? (Hint: The title of this post may provide a clue.)

That's right! RYAN COMES BACK TODAY!  My other half!  My bestie!  My mirror!  :)  Actually, I only have like 2 more pages of a study guide to complete for homework which I'm going to finish right after this post, but I have a few hours since Ryan is supposed to be leaving L-ville between 11-12 this afternoon.  3 hours or less and I will be reunited with some of my CLOSEST of family (other than my Mom and Grandparents of course.) 

Just wanted to share my excitement!

As for the rest of my life, I have been extremely exhausted this past week due to all the drama after my 9-5 workdays.  BUT, I'm getting there.  I'm actually really enjoying this 1 month break.  I am still giving myself the entire month to make sure that this is how I'm truly feeling, but deep down I think I am making the right decision.  When you get to a point in a relationship where you are trying to make up excuses to not talk to your partner in the evenings, you know something is wrong.  (Specifically in regards to spring break--I actually watched 5 seasons of LOST.  This wasn't just "making up excuses", but it helped give me some space!)  Anyway, regardless, I believe I am making the right decision.  Everyone I have talked to in Burly World has supported my decision and are telling me that I seem happier, bounicer, and less burdened even just since Wednesday.  That's a sign that this is good for me, and that it is time to move on.  I feel good.  I feel bad that I'm hurting Luke, but that's about the extent of it.  I love him...I'm just not in love with him.  That's where the line is between friend and intimate relationship.  I'm SO glad I've figured things out for myself.  So here's to a BIG SHOUTOUT to (mostly Ashley and Velvet) who have had to put up with my day-to-day questioning of myself.  And another BIG SHOUTOUT to everybody else that has been involved in the process: to Ryan for providing tons of support whenever I needed him this week, to my mom and grandparents for seeing where things were going a few years earlier in the process than I did, more props to my mom for being AWESOME and having figured all this out for herself once before in her life, and to Meg--my super amazing ex-boss who is one of my main go-to adults on campus!!!!!!

Whew!  Now that all of that is out, I am going to go finish my last 2 pages of homework!  I love everybody, and I can't wait to SEE RYAN THIS AFTERNOON!!!!!

(Will let you know how it all goes soon.)

x.o.x.o.x.o.
~Megan

A Whole New World...

Hello, everyone!  I hope you are all having a fantastic time back from break!  Well, some things have taken place today that have become a little bit life-changing for me.

For starters, for the first time since 5th grade, I am "single."  I'm on a month break with my boyfriend of 4 years.  My feelings changed, and I'm going to give myself some space to see if they change.  I honestly don't know what will happen, but we'll have to wait and see.  Everyone wish me luck!

In the meantime, I'm still going thru my day-to-day life with internships, workstudy, classes, extra outside-work work, and keeping myself happy and healthy.  I have to start working on myself again, and Ashley, Velvet, and I have decided to join Champlain Loses It.  It's a weight loss challenge...and we're going to be TOES awesome at this game.  Hahahaha.  Can't wait to get started.   :)

Well, that was my catching up on what's happened so far this semester (and we aren't even thru the first week yet!)

Leave some comments on how you're doing!
Love,
Megan

There is a Light at the End of the Tunnel

Sooooo much has happened since Thanksgiving break.

To sum it up in a word: STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.  I'm freaking out over this non-existant internship that I must have confirmed by Friday, and I also had some more personal issues going on as well.

THANKFULLY the personal issues have now been solved and everyone I think is good standing once again.  The internship issue however is...well...a work in progress.

I've applied to King St. Youth Center.  I would love to get in there.  Also, I have applied to the HowardCenter.  Hopefully someone gets back to me today!  Then: all a sudden...IT HAPPENED!  I remembered an e-mail one of my professors had sent me over break.  There's a Social Norms campaign starting up that is going to be in full swing by next fall.  And there's a possibility to turn it into an internship!!!!! AHHH!!! That means I wouldn't have to leave campus!!! And slip and fall and break something!  (Which I'm probably more prone to doing than most people realize.)  Hahaha.

Keep you fingers crossed for me.  Life is starting to get good again.

:)

Much Love
Megan

2 Hours/9 Mins

Ok, so I hav 9 minutes before my group meeting to tell you all what the 2 hours is all about.

Thats how much sleep I got last night.  Ryan and I stayed up till 5 AM talking about the world in general, our plans for next year's Thanksgiving (FLA anyone???), and fresh and old friendships.

We miss certain people in particular, but that is now the past.  We've decided that we're just going to be the most awesome friend/family system that anybody has ever seen.  Velvet is going to be our next door neighbor, Jess and Ashley will also live in the neighborhood.  And Luke and I can have our own bedroom in a house shared with Ryan and his adopted children.  YES! Hahaha.  (Yeah, I imagine most of the people mentioned would have some objections to this.)  Hey, I can dream, right?

Next Thanksgiving is going to be SO awesome.  Hilights include: travelling by ourselves, place to stay for free, tanning on the beach, travelling by ourselves, $500 gone forever, and travelling by ourselves!!!

Yeah, I'm kind of pumped.  Too bad I only have 12-13 more hours before I can sleep again.

Hmph, well I have to get downstairs.  Group members are going to start showing up. :)

Love you all,
Megan

Another Dreary Day...

Hello, everyone. How's life? Life in 308 has been pretty stressful lately. Not too much time for fun. :( Between midterms, Jess' flu, and me needing to get going on busting out a 6-8 pager, and a 4-6 pager for 2 different classes, its a pretty stressful time.

Last night was Glee night. Glee was awesome as ALWAYS!!!! In Music Makers on Tuesday night, Dave (one of the co-conductors), played the Glee version of Don't Stop Believing. It. Was. Awesome. EVERYONE started busting out that song the instant it came on. Hahahhaha!!!

My girls and I (Ryan included) have decided to start doing mini-webisodes. I will eventually give the link to the blog that we are considering starting that will be JUST for our webisodes. They will also be posted on FaceBook and possibly on YouTube (just to make sure we can get some good feedback from friends and family.) :)

I'm still working on trying to convince my mom to get FaceBook, by the way. I would LOVE to be able to write to her and keep in contact with her that way, because FaceBook is my MAIN social networking site. Buuuuut she's kind of old-school and doesn't think people her age should be on FaceBook. Wonder what she'd say if I told her that Ashley's mom is on there? Hehe.

Well, thats ok, too. I'll do what I can.

Luke is trying to meet up with me today in the Big Burly World, however because of my schedule and all my requirements of my time, I'm not sure I'll be able to see him. :( FML. Hey, and I just looked out the window and there is a lady bug crawling up our screen! CUTE!!! Sorry, back to Luke. Yes, I miss him terribly. Unfortunately, for my own well-being, I am not able to spend all of my time on my computer anymore. The "free time" that I have is generally spent directly on homework, and the rest of my free time is spent with my friends that live here. Right now they are the main ones who are keeping me sane. I'm very much a physical person. I naturally get really close to the people I live with and see everyday. They are my rocks that keep me from floating away. I loooooove Luke to death, but by the time I'm able to get online its about 8:30 at night and by then I'm so exhausted I can't focus much on what anybody is saying to me. I feel like such a failure, but how things are working now is just about the best I can do. Next semester, I'll be taking 6 classes instead of my 5, and I'll be working 3 jobs. Soooo....my prospects for trying to fix my awesome mistake aren't looking so great right now. Luke, if you're reading this...just move to Burlington! This will solve everyone's problem!

If anyone has any advice, please post below. Thanks!

Love you all,
x.o.x.o. Megan

House

WHY DOES FOX SUCK SO MUCH!!!! House was delayed due to Angels/Pats claiming superiority over the lives of everyone, and I am not too impressed.

At the moment (in case you cared) I am sitting on the couch, eating Jess' popcorn, and drinking B-town tap water. Yes, I am that classy. After listening to Ashley yell at the TV for the game to finish before she did something she was going to regret, we can finally sit back and enjoy the episode of House.

I miss Luke because I have not seen him in forever, and I miss not having my daily dose of Ryan. (OK, we don't actually meet THAT often, but close enough. "Where, oh, where of the boys all gone? Oh where, oh where can they beeeeeee????"

Oh, and I have come to a distinct conclusion. Apples to Apples is an EPIC game. When its still going strong at 4am you know THAT's some epicness that cannot be questioned. Ever. :)

I have also discovered that basicly I have no free time until after 2pm on Saturday. Sooo much for working on homework. Also, my PA job is conflicting with my scheduling of my work study hours (but then again, what else is new?)

I hope you all are having a fantastic midterm session.

I'm going to get back to watching House wallow in his excellence, and try to track down my boys. :)

xoxoxo
Love,
Megan

Another Day...and More Awesome Randomness. Also, Introductions Are In Order.

So, tonight at 308 Maple, we got our Tarot Cards read by Brooke.  She was DEAD-ON with every single one of my roommates (and Velvet.)  How AWESOME is that?  Words cannot define the AWESOMENESS and EXCELLENCE that is the accurateness of the tarot readings.

Before I get too much more into what happens and whom to, I will get into describing everyone.

Firstly, Hi! I'm Megan!  Nice to meet you!  Essentially, if you want to know about me, check out my profile here on Blogger.  I am a sophomore in the Social Work Major here at Champlain College.  308 Maple is my residence hall for this year (obviously) and it is AWESOME.  My life rocks.  I have a boyfriend named Luke, who I will describe next.  I was born and raised here in VT, and consider myself a native.

Luke- My excellent boyfriend.  I love him to death and he loves me back.  He is a redneck hick and does stupid shit to get an adrenaline rush.  Dirtbikes is an avid interest of his, and he loves the outdoors.  He is protective of those close to him, and will take a bullet for anybody he takes a shine to.  Stay on his good side--he can be lethal when he wants to be. ;)  Luke is also a fellow resident of VT.

Velvet- Does not live in 308, however she may as well.  When Velvet gets bored, she cleans up after us.  She is basicly like an older sister to everyone in this dorm, and we often look to her for logical advice on our respective issues.  From NY, Champlain College & VT are whole different cultures that she has to adjust to.  She is doing  a fantastic job so far, and although the snow gets a bit intense, she handles it as if she were a true Vermon'er!

Ashley- One of my actual roommates.  Although sometimes shy and a bit reserved, Ashely often has excellent input to whatever conversation happens to be going on.  As a Professional Writer major, she loves to focus on the fantasy world, and to bring the fantasy world into reality.  She loves to make us all laugh, and she has a very unhealthy obsession with chocolate.

Jess- My second roommate.  Jess=Superwoman.  After having overcome a tragic accident in her family in the past year, she still has the courage to move on and focus on the positives.  I really do look up to her, and I LOVE her personality.  She will get you motivated to do ANYTHING in your life...like it or not.  And as a Marketing major, she could sell icecubes to an Eskimo! :)  Jess is simply amazing, and the origional blogger of 308 Maple.  I recently have jumped on board as a secondary opinion and to let everyone know what happens from more than a single perception. 

Ryan- Also not a resident of 308 Maple.  He spends every Wednesday night and some weekends here in the dorm, so we will consider him a part-time resident much in the way we consider Velvet a part-time resident.  A note about Ryan...he LOVES THEATRE!!!!  Musicals up the @ss, Sweeney Todd, Little Shop of Horrors, Hairspray, you name it, he loves it.  I went to the same middle school and high school that Ryan did, and we started becoming friends back in my 8th grade year (his 7th) in Music class.  In high school we both ended up in Select Choral Ensemble, and became friends with Eden.  Eden is not in the area, but she may be referenced once in a while...just FYI.

Brittany & Rachell- Our other suite members, but we don't see them very often.



These are all the residents of Feeley House that will be mentioned most often, the protaganists of the narrative so-to-speak.  Keep tuned for more awesome stories from 308 Maple!

Love,
Megan