I'm Poor.

Ah, Ramen.  We've all fallen into your grasp at one point or another.

My apologies for lack of a more creative title for this post.  I'm very stressed lately because of how broke I seem to continue to be.  And there's no light at the end of the tunnel for at least another 2 years-once I can complete my Master's in Social Work degree and FINALLY MAYBE start my real life as a fully grown, financially independent adult.

I still have about $300 more worth of textbooks to purchase, an estimated $300 parking pass to purchase and that's not including my $70/month phone bill and $40/month credit card bill, or gas for the car, oil changes, etc.  You know, basic life stuff.  And the thing is, I really don't actually have that many bills.  Just phone and credit card-and my credit card payment is really cheap (because I have a Discover Student Credit Card which gives me a credit limit of only $500-thank God).  My problem is that I don't have enough money to feel comfortable making my monthly bills.  There literally aren't enough hours in the day for me to work enough hours to make enough money to feel really truly secure.  

I just want to live comfortably.  I'm not looking to become a millionaire and hoard my millions of dollars away from society forever.  I want to spend a little to have fun every month, get by on bills, and still have enough extra to put away in a savings account just in case of a huge life emergency.  I REALLY don't think I'm asking for a whole hell of a lot.  Unfortunately I need to take out $80,000 in loans to get my Master's degree which will help me get an adequate paying job in order to support myself for the rest of my life.  

What's even more stressful is that my family isn't able to help out at all with grad school.  They've already done so much to help me get through undergrad that they're pretty much tapped out.  I feel bad that I'm part of the reason they're so strapped right now, but I also really can't help it that society has deemed it necessary to not only have your high school diploma, but a college degree (Master's preferred in most cases) in order to get a job that will sustain you.  

I'm really starting to resent the Capitalist system.  The 'survival of the fittest' or 'each (wo)man for his/her self is ridiculous.  We're all human, we're all in this together.  Everyone needs to make a living, everyone needs to survive.  Collectivist societies have the right idea, I think.  I'm just so sick of America and how the poor and downtrodden continue to be trodden upon regardless of how hard they work, while rich floozies can sit on their laurels and become famous for being dramatic idiotic a$$holes.  In WHAT society does that make sense to anyone?

I'm seriously considering moving to Canada once I have my Master's.  I want to check out Toronto, and some of the other fun Canadian cities.  After a few years, I'd like to apply for citizenship and be free of America while I try to make a comfortable living for myself.  I refuse to be forced to eat Ramen for the rest of my life (as good as it tastes occasionally-when you're not having to LIVE off the stuff), and I refuse to be swallowed up by student loan debt for the rest of my career-track life.  I want to be a healthy, happy person.  I don't deserve the short stick.  Not this time.

Love you all.  Hope life is treating you the way you deserve to be treated!

Have any of you ever visited Toronto, moved to Canada, or know someone who has?  I'd love to hear your stories!

From my brain to yours,

-Megan

Stream 1

Because I suck at finding inspiration to sit and write about, I decided to get started with a stream of consciousness piece.  Here it is:

I believe everything happens for a reason.  Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.  One door closes, another opens.  Insert a multitude of other such cliches here.

Often it is hard to see past the negative aspects to this crazy, dramatic thing called life.  One word has hardly ever held so much room for interpretation or emotional turmoil.  Some see life as a blessing or gift, others as a curse.  How is one's lot in life determined?  Why do bad things happen to good people?  Is Karma broken?  Is Karma real?  The human race has often wondered about its place in "the grand scheme of things", as they say.  Are we alone in the universe?  Does a god preside over all of creation?  And what does that say about those who choose to believe in such a power that may or may not exist?  What does that say about atheists?

Are humans meant to be strictly logical creatures, living as empirical scientists?  Are we meant to be intuitive, emotional creatures--living passionately and without law or governance?

Many say that in order to survive you must be able to adapt.  Why is it then, that little pebbles survive longer on this terrestrial planet than living people, who are always searching for self-improvement?  The adaptability theory seems flawed.

These are big questions about life and the human experience.  I don't know the answers.  Maybe I'm not supposed to.  Maybe I can't; human comprehension only goes so far.  We don't even know how to use the entire capacity of the brain's ability to function and process information.

All I really know is who I am and how I experience the world around me.  I live both passionately and rationally, I believe in Karma and I believe that there may be some power, god(s) or goddess(es) in the universe overseeing the grand scheme of things--making sure that the balance of the universe is always in check.

I do not, however, believe that this is an excuse to lay back and let the pieces fall where they may.  All humans have power in that they can make decisions.  If you want your life to be different, then have the courage to make the necessary changes.  Be an active participant in your life.  If you want something, go after it!

Sometimes even after putting in all that hard work things will not go the way you envisioned.  You know what?  That's okay.  It wasn't time for you to go down that path yet.  You have more to learn and more experiences to obtain before taking that path.  Have faith in your life.  Believe that you are exactly where you are meant to be at exactly the right time (even if "exactly the right time" means you are currently 10 minutes late for work).  Things happen for a reason.

Live your life the way you want.  Do the things you want to be remembered for.  Be fearless, and love and respect yourself.  Never stop learning, never stop growing.  Adapt if you need to, remain stagnant if you want to.  The possibilities are endless.

From my brain to yours,
Megan

Invisible Children-Help Me Help The World

Okay, so here is my shameless solicitation for the year.  I attended a program today that really moved me and broadened my horizons in my empathy and willingness to do something good for others.  So, here's what I'm asking of you.

Step 1) Click here: http://ic.stayclassy.org/member/ic-fundraising?fcid=44520
Step 2) Watch the video.
Step 3) Donate $2-$3 or as much as you can to help stop the LRA war happening in the Sudan/Congo/Uganda areas.  Child soldiers are a huge problem, and this war is essentially guerrilla warfare.  Many people's lives and families are being destroyed by the LRA.  This donation goes 100% to help the victims of the war, to rehabilitate former child soldiers, and eventually reintegrate them into society and return them to their families.  The Invisible Children organization is doing an amazing thing, and I'm so excited to be a part of it.  Please donate what you can-my goal is only $50, so a little pocket change goes a long way.
Step 4) Do some research on the LRA-see who they are and what they've done, and feel great about making a positive change in the world.

I am taking a vow of silence on April 25th for 25 hours to recognize this 25 year-long war. 

Let's make 2011 the year it stops.  Let's let this year be the year that positive change begins to happen on a global scale.  Let's make just one more region of the world a safer and better place to live.  Let's make this change together.

Please help me reach my goal.  I have raised $23 so far, and I'd like to keep it going.  I'm going to keep hitting people up for money until the actual day of silence, so don't think I'm just giving up if you say you don't have money right now.  Please do something amazing with your leftover change!

Wear Purple!

Today is a day to raise awareness about the struggles of LGBTQ and also to honor the deaths of LGBTQ youth in the past 3-4 weeks. 

To do this- there is a movement of individuals wearing purple all day today.  If you have no purple and have time to run back to your dorm, grab something.

If you are unaware of what has been going on in LGBTQ struggles, specifically over the past month or so, click here to read my previous blog post, "A Moment of Silence." 

I apologize for the abruptness of this post, but I have Statistics class in just a few minutes so I don't really have time to elaborate.  WEAR PURPLE-DO ITT!!!

A Moment of Silence

This week a lot of things have happened for the L(esbian)G(ay)B(isexual)T(ransgendered)Q(ueer/Questioning) community, both here in Burlington, VT and elsewhere in the country.  This blog post is dedicated to the 7 recent suicides committed by youth around the country due to bullying, harassment, and general nonacceptance by those around them.  One story in particular stands out-the story of Tyler Clementi.  To see the article I'm taking my info from, click here. 

Tyler Clementi was an accomplished musician already at age 18.  He was quiet, kept to himself, and was gay.  His roommate covertly streamed him via webcam one night having sexual relations with a male partner, and then put it online for others to see.  Three days later, Tyler jumped off the George Washington Bridge into the Hudson River-to his death. 

The fact that LGBTQ youth are being harassed and abused to the point of wanting to end their lives entirely is very sad.  I mean, what does this say about our society?  Those in the LGBTQ community have worked so hard for so long-and right now it only seems to be getting worse.  The places where LGBTQ individuals are accepted and welcomed with open arms I feel are too few and far in between.  People in American society need to grow up and stop discriminating against others because they aren't just like you.  Has nobody seen Pocahontas?

"John Smith: We've improved the lives of savages all over the world.
Pocahontas: *Savages*?
John Smith: Uh, not that *you're* a savage.
Pocahontas: Just my people!
John Smith: No. Listen. That's not what I meant. Let me explain, uh...
Pocahontas: Let go!
John Smith: No, I'm not letting you leave.
Pocahontas: [jumps up into a tree]
John Smith: Look, don't do this. Savage is just a word, uh, you know. A term for people who are uncivilized.
Pocahontas: Like me.
John Smith: Well, when I say uncivilized, what I mean is, is...
Pocahontas: What you mean is, "not like you." " (IMDB)
 
The first time I read about Tyler Clementi's story in the New York Times, I very nearly cried.  My heart feels so much pain for stories such as this-which is probably why I'm going into the career I've chosen for myself. 
 
Fortunately, there are some conversations going on around the country helping to educate people about what it means to be an LGBT or Q person.  Today, I attended a 9 hour Translating Identity Conference (lovingly called TIC [pronounced "tick"],) at UVM.  There were different workshops run during each of the hour long time slots that you could choose to attend.  (I was there for a class requirement, but also to help increase my own area of knowledge as well.)  If more conversations like this one were opened up more often and in many more different locations, I really believe that many would stop being so hateful towards those who don't fit or conform to societal norms.  Small steps are a good place to start, but much more needs to be done to prevent LGBTQ youth suicide.  These are just kids-regardless of how they decide to present, or whom they find themselves in love with. 
 
Please, please, if you or someone you know is considering suicide because the bullying pressure has become too much, check out the TrevorProject, or some other LGBTQ youth suicide prevention hotline service. 
 
For the rest of you who are wondering what you as an everyday kind of person can do to help out-please just be aware of what you say and what you do and how it can affect others around you.  Be aware of your own judgements of others and what your preconceived notions of gender and sexual preference are.  Know that both have a wide spectrum and array of situations.  There are many biological men and women (also known as bio-men or bio-women,) who may think of themselves as the opposite gender, but may chose to present themselves as their assigned gender (AKA-what gender they were born with and "assigned" at birth.)  Be aware of what pronouns individuals chose to use regarding themselves, and how they identify.  It is always better to ask if you aren't sure than to assume and offend.
 
Also-if you know of any LGBTQ conversations happening in your area-please attend!  Most welcome people from all stages of understanding.  If you don't know much about the LGBTQ community and you're scared to go-please, don't be.  Jump in and learn!  The more you know about the issues at hand, the better able you are to help find solutions.  <3
 
This post is deep-and I promise I'll post something light and fluffy soon.  But in the meantime, please take a moment of silence and light a candle for those who couldn't take any more of the abuse and harassment.  Please keep them in your thoughts, and please find out what you can do in your community to help make a difference.  You could save lives.
 
<3 Megan <3

Today I Did Something Awesome

DADT

Don't Ask; Don't Tell.

Apparently America hasn't realized that when a law is passed, it applies to EVERYONE in the country.  Soldiers aren't exempt.  There is a law in this country that states that no individual can be discriminated against on basis of age, sex, gender, sexual orientation, disability, etc.  And yet, if a soldier happens to come out, that individual is dishonorably discharged from the service.  WTF??!!!?  Excuse me?  REALLY?!  Okay, so apparently America needs recruits to go fight for rights in their country that don't even apply to themselves. 

This is really sad.

Ryan and I called our senators (Bernie Sanders and Patrick Leahy) and said that we would like for them to repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell on Tuesday.  Lady Gaga (a goddess in all her glory,) is spurring a HUGE Youth Movement advocating for everyone in our generation to call our senators and finally, finally stand up for what we believe in.  Follow the link here to check it out.  This is SO important especially with the youth in this country.  We technically should have the largest say in making our voices heard in regards to this policy.  This is the rest of the majority of our lives, as well as the lives of our children that we are dealing with.  If Don't Ask Don't Tell isn't repealed, we have to live with this for the rest of our lives until someone is able to raise a large enough movement to take the government by storm. 

I feel as though the current 20-something-year-old generation is extraordinarily accepting and is also very motivated towards making the changes that we feel need to be made within our country.  We have a huge passion for those who are being discriminated against.  We've all been there at some point in our lives.  We've been socialized by parents, guardians, friends, schools, government, media, etc in terms of what to think, how to think, and what is the "right" thing to do.  Our generation is sick of being told what to think and feel.  We know what feels right in our hearts, and damnit we're doing something about it!

Lady Gaga said something that really stuck with me.  Granted, I will not be able to put it as eloquently as she did, but here's the basics of it.  This isn't about whether or not you personally believe in homosexuality or approve of it in any way, this is about senators doing their job in terms of holding up the Constitution.  Don't Ask Don't Tell is extremely unconstitutional.  It blows my mind that individuals have the right to not be discriminated against within the country, and yet our soldiers, the very people who are risking their lives for this right don't have it extended to them.  I don't understand how this makes any sense in the eyes of other people.

Bottom line: if you believe in something and you know in your heart that something is not right or feels weird to you, say something about it.  Call your senator and dish!  Seriously-people love to chat it up.  Start some controversy!  Remember how teachers always used to say "there are no stupid questions.  Chances are, if you have a question, the majority of the class probably has the same question.  Don't be afraid to ask it-everyone will appreciate that someone took the risk?"  Same policy here.  There may be many who believe in the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell, but aren't going to actively show their support in order to sway the vote of their senators.  Please, I'm asking you as a fellow American, as 20 year old college student, as daughter, a classmate, a female, a friend--do what you think is right.  If you believe Don't Ask Don't Tell is unconstitutional and it doesn't feel right to you, figure out a way to get in contact with your senators.

If you live in Vermont:
Bernie Sanders' number is: (202) 224-5141
Patrick Leahy's number is: (202) 224-4242

Call them-and let them know what you feel.

This is America; We have the right to be heard.

<3 Megan <3

P.S. Tomorrow is weigh in day.  :S