Stream 1

Because I suck at finding inspiration to sit and write about, I decided to get started with a stream of consciousness piece.  Here it is:

I believe everything happens for a reason.  Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.  One door closes, another opens.  Insert a multitude of other such cliches here.

Often it is hard to see past the negative aspects to this crazy, dramatic thing called life.  One word has hardly ever held so much room for interpretation or emotional turmoil.  Some see life as a blessing or gift, others as a curse.  How is one's lot in life determined?  Why do bad things happen to good people?  Is Karma broken?  Is Karma real?  The human race has often wondered about its place in "the grand scheme of things", as they say.  Are we alone in the universe?  Does a god preside over all of creation?  And what does that say about those who choose to believe in such a power that may or may not exist?  What does that say about atheists?

Are humans meant to be strictly logical creatures, living as empirical scientists?  Are we meant to be intuitive, emotional creatures--living passionately and without law or governance?

Many say that in order to survive you must be able to adapt.  Why is it then, that little pebbles survive longer on this terrestrial planet than living people, who are always searching for self-improvement?  The adaptability theory seems flawed.

These are big questions about life and the human experience.  I don't know the answers.  Maybe I'm not supposed to.  Maybe I can't; human comprehension only goes so far.  We don't even know how to use the entire capacity of the brain's ability to function and process information.

All I really know is who I am and how I experience the world around me.  I live both passionately and rationally, I believe in Karma and I believe that there may be some power, god(s) or goddess(es) in the universe overseeing the grand scheme of things--making sure that the balance of the universe is always in check.

I do not, however, believe that this is an excuse to lay back and let the pieces fall where they may.  All humans have power in that they can make decisions.  If you want your life to be different, then have the courage to make the necessary changes.  Be an active participant in your life.  If you want something, go after it!

Sometimes even after putting in all that hard work things will not go the way you envisioned.  You know what?  That's okay.  It wasn't time for you to go down that path yet.  You have more to learn and more experiences to obtain before taking that path.  Have faith in your life.  Believe that you are exactly where you are meant to be at exactly the right time (even if "exactly the right time" means you are currently 10 minutes late for work).  Things happen for a reason.

Live your life the way you want.  Do the things you want to be remembered for.  Be fearless, and love and respect yourself.  Never stop learning, never stop growing.  Adapt if you need to, remain stagnant if you want to.  The possibilities are endless.

From my brain to yours,
Megan

A Moment of Silence

This week a lot of things have happened for the L(esbian)G(ay)B(isexual)T(ransgendered)Q(ueer/Questioning) community, both here in Burlington, VT and elsewhere in the country.  This blog post is dedicated to the 7 recent suicides committed by youth around the country due to bullying, harassment, and general nonacceptance by those around them.  One story in particular stands out-the story of Tyler Clementi.  To see the article I'm taking my info from, click here. 

Tyler Clementi was an accomplished musician already at age 18.  He was quiet, kept to himself, and was gay.  His roommate covertly streamed him via webcam one night having sexual relations with a male partner, and then put it online for others to see.  Three days later, Tyler jumped off the George Washington Bridge into the Hudson River-to his death. 

The fact that LGBTQ youth are being harassed and abused to the point of wanting to end their lives entirely is very sad.  I mean, what does this say about our society?  Those in the LGBTQ community have worked so hard for so long-and right now it only seems to be getting worse.  The places where LGBTQ individuals are accepted and welcomed with open arms I feel are too few and far in between.  People in American society need to grow up and stop discriminating against others because they aren't just like you.  Has nobody seen Pocahontas?

"John Smith: We've improved the lives of savages all over the world.
Pocahontas: *Savages*?
John Smith: Uh, not that *you're* a savage.
Pocahontas: Just my people!
John Smith: No. Listen. That's not what I meant. Let me explain, uh...
Pocahontas: Let go!
John Smith: No, I'm not letting you leave.
Pocahontas: [jumps up into a tree]
John Smith: Look, don't do this. Savage is just a word, uh, you know. A term for people who are uncivilized.
Pocahontas: Like me.
John Smith: Well, when I say uncivilized, what I mean is, is...
Pocahontas: What you mean is, "not like you." " (IMDB)
 
The first time I read about Tyler Clementi's story in the New York Times, I very nearly cried.  My heart feels so much pain for stories such as this-which is probably why I'm going into the career I've chosen for myself. 
 
Fortunately, there are some conversations going on around the country helping to educate people about what it means to be an LGBT or Q person.  Today, I attended a 9 hour Translating Identity Conference (lovingly called TIC [pronounced "tick"],) at UVM.  There were different workshops run during each of the hour long time slots that you could choose to attend.  (I was there for a class requirement, but also to help increase my own area of knowledge as well.)  If more conversations like this one were opened up more often and in many more different locations, I really believe that many would stop being so hateful towards those who don't fit or conform to societal norms.  Small steps are a good place to start, but much more needs to be done to prevent LGBTQ youth suicide.  These are just kids-regardless of how they decide to present, or whom they find themselves in love with. 
 
Please, please, if you or someone you know is considering suicide because the bullying pressure has become too much, check out the TrevorProject, or some other LGBTQ youth suicide prevention hotline service. 
 
For the rest of you who are wondering what you as an everyday kind of person can do to help out-please just be aware of what you say and what you do and how it can affect others around you.  Be aware of your own judgements of others and what your preconceived notions of gender and sexual preference are.  Know that both have a wide spectrum and array of situations.  There are many biological men and women (also known as bio-men or bio-women,) who may think of themselves as the opposite gender, but may chose to present themselves as their assigned gender (AKA-what gender they were born with and "assigned" at birth.)  Be aware of what pronouns individuals chose to use regarding themselves, and how they identify.  It is always better to ask if you aren't sure than to assume and offend.
 
Also-if you know of any LGBTQ conversations happening in your area-please attend!  Most welcome people from all stages of understanding.  If you don't know much about the LGBTQ community and you're scared to go-please, don't be.  Jump in and learn!  The more you know about the issues at hand, the better able you are to help find solutions.  <3
 
This post is deep-and I promise I'll post something light and fluffy soon.  But in the meantime, please take a moment of silence and light a candle for those who couldn't take any more of the abuse and harassment.  Please keep them in your thoughts, and please find out what you can do in your community to help make a difference.  You could save lives.
 
<3 Megan <3

In Honor or Janet Bird

A spunky lady I once knew ruled her roost in Danville.  NOBODY could tell her otherwise, regardless of what it was.  If you would say left, she, of course, would go right.  This woman had a mind of her own, and enriched the lives of many around her. 

Many of you probably remember me as a shy little girl who wouldn't speak unless spoken to.  (And even then it was "iffy!")  I loved watching people that were so sure of themselves, so absolutely positive that they knew exactly where they were in this world, and where they planned to go.  Janet was one of these people.

Janet had a way of using this particular hard-headedness of hers to coerce you into a meal.  98% of the time if you were to visit her house, there would be some sort of food that she would offer up.  Whether it was leftovers from a meal just cooked that day, or something fresh-baked out of the oven, Janet was ALL about her food.  Nobody ever left hungry, that's for sure!

Recently, I have discovered a TV show that I am in love with.  Perhaps many of you have heard of it.  Glee.  A show with songs that describe every emotion you encounter within your life.  The chorus of a particular song, "Keep Holding On" is one that is applicable here.

 "Keep holding on

'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Just stay strong

'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you

There's nothing you could say

Nothing you could do

There's no other way when it comes to the truth

So keep holding on

'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through."

Janet was an amazing woman.  I am proud to be related to her.  I find I get many things from my grandfather, but with regards to being a woman, she one type I want to be.  Someone who has her head on straight, knows what she wants from life, and goes out there to make sure she gets it.  My mom is, of course, my first and foremost role model, but Janet is a very close second!
 
Remember Janet with peace and love.  Keep her close to your heart always, and remind those still left in this world how much they mean to you, as often as you can.  Life is short, and sometimes people we love are taken from us far too quickly.  Cherish them.   Love them.
 
Always and Forever,
Megan

...And I'm Back!!!

I apologize deeply for my leave of absence.  Things have indeed been intense here at 308 Maple.  (If you read Ryan's blog at http://www.ryhowland.blogspot.com/ you'll get some of the full story.)  Drama, miscommunications, alcohol-induced sickness, yeah, we've had the works.

Anywho, so I'm not sure if I've talked about this yet on my blog or not, but Ryan and I should basicly be related.  He's my twin.  We say the same thing, think the same thing, and tend to do the same thing at the exact same time or within minutes of each other.  For instance, my sneakers have been acting up with me since Halloween-ish.  The soles keep slipping up and around the back of my ankle while I'm trying to walk.  NOT fun.  So I had to go get new sneakers, which I accomplished yesterday.

Yesterday, Ryan's dad came up to have him go get the H1N1 Swine Flu Vaccination.  (Ick.)  And Ryan's sneakers are actually ripping apart.  Can you guess the rest of the story???  Yeah, he now has a brand new pair of converse sneakers that look AWESOME on him.  Seriously, he's hot.  Hahaha.  My baby brother is growing up!!! Awww.

Anywho, I am furious now that I have found out EASTWICK is being cancelled because ABC doesn't think the ratings have been good enough.  WTF.  I LIKE THAT SHOW.  STOP THAT!   ABC, you CAN'T just take something off the air when it has as complicated and interesting a plotline as Eastwick.  WTF?!!!?!?!

On a lighter note, Glee will be back on this Wednesday, so that's good.

My butt, thighs, abs and shoulders hurt.  Kickboxing 2 nights in a row (Thursday and Friday) is INTENSE.  I asked Luke if he maybe had punching pads at his house, because the origional plan was for me to go see him this weekend.  (More about the origional plan later.)  But he didn't...soooo I can't work on anything this weekend.  I really just want a partner to come with me to the gym to hold punching pads so i can keep working on that (my favorite part.)  Velvet would be the ideal person since she's about my height and stature, but she has to work. I TOES understand that.  So, yeah.  I'm kind of tempted to just ask a random guy in the gym to work with me.  I find I like punching things, it's an excellent stress reliever.  I'm not generally a violent person, but that kind of exercise makes me feel good.  Sometimes I like being my weight and height, it allows me to withstand more things than if I were 145.  :D

Back to the "origional plan" of this weekend.  I was supposed to go see Luke this weekend because we haven't been able to get together in a while.  However, my Great Aunt Janet passed away Friday night at midnight, and I really want to be at her funeral.  She was one of the few family members I got along with and liked outside of my immediate family, so I want to be there to say my goodbyes.  I'm worried about my grandfather.  I inherited a lot of things from him.  The tendency to bottle things up until the bottle explodes and shatters EVERYWHERE is one of them.  I really want to be home with him so I can talk with him and have him get some of his feelings out, but since I have class and work that won't work out too well.  :(  I have Janet as a friend on Facebook, and the last comment that had been posted on her wall was a "Happy Birthday" comment, because her b-day had come on Oct. 22nd of this year.  I added a fresh comment of (mind you this is paraphrasing), "RIP Aunt Janet, you will be dearly missed.  I'll help take care of your baby brother, no worries."  It's hard to imagine that she's really gone.  If you wanted to have some excellent food, you just went to Janet.  She had the BEST baking skills I've ever seen, and that woman knew how to whip up a meal for people.  I hope that she's happy, wherever she has moved on to.

And on my grandmother's side, her brother is in the hospital.  He's having a hard time breathing on his own and getting oxygen into his system, and he's a very sick man all around.  Darthmouth is doing what they can to care for him, but nobody knows how well this is all going to work out.  He doesn't have Swine Flu, but because he has black mold all over the trailer he lives in (that he's been breathing in for years), nobody is too sure how this is going to come out in the end. 

Life is full of unexpected surprises.  The best you can do is to just try to roll with the punches.  People you love could be gone in an instant.  Make sure the last time you talk to someone isn't a talk full of anger and hate.  Nobody wants to part with dischord, especially with someone you love.  Look out for one another, take care of one another, and make sure you have some sort of support system to help get you through things like this.  No one should have to go through a death alone.  Be a team, do it together.

With that, I will go.  I'm a little hungry and I want to do an hour at the gym before I eat real food.  Hahaha. 

x.o.x.o.
Love,
Megan