So..1 Year Out!

Hey guys!  I haven't written a post on here in a little over a year.  A TON has happened since I last updated everyone about my life, so here are the highlights:

-Once I returned home from Cape Cod, I had a month and a half of FULL TIME job searching.  It sucked.  I was stressed, depressed, and all around just not feeling great about myself.
-Eventually, I was hired by a local social service agency dedicated to helping seniors in the community.  I work as a Case Manager which is PERFECT, because that's exactly what I went to school for.  :)  It feels great being able to put my degree to work for me and get a little ROI (return on investment).
-Oct. 15, 2012 is when I started this incredible new job.  I'm almost coming up on my 1 yr anniversary here, so life has been wonderful.  I've learned a ton and absolutely love the work I'm doing.  Perfect fit!
-Ryan and I are no longer a couple.  But it's okay, I promise!  We're still extremely close and went back to being besties.
-In Feb. I had to get a new car.  Space needed new roters, brakes, brake pads, etc., etc., and it just wasn't worth it to keep throwing money into a '99 vehicle.  I ended up getting myself a silver 2010 Dodge Journey which is a large SUV.  The only 2 drawbacks are that (1) it is an automatic (I prefer 5 speeds), and (2) it is only FWD.  Since my job requires me to do home visits to many (most) of my clients, I am often traveling up back roads and up mountains, even in the middle of winter.  I wish I had advocated more for getting a 4WD vehicle.  Oh well, next time.  I am proud to say that I was able to get the loan for my vehicle all on my own (didn't need a co-signer!) so now I am truly able to say 'my' car and mean it! :)
-I've been to Washington, D.C. with Ryan last year for my birthday (my first time there)!  We stayed in a hostel for 7 days which ended up not having running water for 3 of those days, so we ended up having to get a hotel room about 2.5-3 days into that madness.  I think we almost reached our breaking point in seeing how long we could go without showering.  It was bad.  BUT we were able to see all of the main highlights and tourist attractions, so it felt great to cross all of the main monuments and museums off my bucket list.
-I've been paying HARDCORE on my student loans.  I crunched the numbers last night and by the end of this year if all goes well [I'll explain in my next bullet point], I'll have resolved $11,430 in my student loan debt.
-"If all goes well...."  Okay, here we go.  I have 3 different lenders for my student loans.  My federal ones through the US Dept of Education, some through VSAC, and one through this other loan mgmt company on behalf of my college called MyCampusLoan.  They are managing my Perkin's loan (instead of Champlain having to hire staff to work directly on managing every student's account).  Here's the deal.  There are certain circumstances in which you may be able to get your Perkin's loan forgiven.  You also have to have worked at your job for a minimum of 1 year.  I applied for deferment a couple months ago (because I only just found out that this might even be a possibility for me), and was approved--so right my now loan with them is not accruing interest.  YAY!  Before applying for deferment, my Perkin's loan was my first smaller loan I was really going after.  I wanted to get that totally paid off so I could snowball my payments and put the rest of the money that was going to my Perkin's payment toward VSAC or my federal loans.  But, since my Perkin's is in deferment and is not accruing interest, I'm working hard on my VSAC loans since they are still accruing interest.  Anyway, once I meet my 1 year anniversary at this fantastic job, I can send in a Request for Cancellation form.  I don't know if I will be approved, but I really hope so.  My other hope is that they will refund me the $1800 or so I've already invested in that loan.  Because I can put that towards another one of my loans.  So, if all of this goes my way, I'll be $11,430 out of student loan debt by the end of Dec. 2013.  GET IT.
-Ryan moved to E. Boston to continue his studies and get his Master's in Community Theater at Emerson College, so that's exciting!  I can't wait until I can go down to visit and spend a few nights with him.  I don't know Boston that well, but I imagine I'll be learning over the course of the next few years.
-Lastly, I'm trying once again to lose weight.  Now that I have health insurance through my employer (although I'm not sure how that's going to change once the Health Care Exchange takes over Jan 1), I have successfully lost about 30 lbs since mid January of 2013.  I went to Physical Therapy to have them train me in how to push myself, how to do which exercises with my body, and how to execute proper form with many of the different exercises they gave me to work on.  Besides exercising and trying to be more active in general, I have almost completely done a 180 on my diet.  I'm trying to stay away from processed food as much as possible, and focus more on fresh fruits and veggies, whole grains, protein, etc.  There are still the days when I need to stop at McD's for a breakfast or lunch, because my job often has lots of time constraints, but I'm not making that the foundation of my diet any longer.  I can't wait to continue with this journey now that I have support from my PCP (primary care physician), and other local community agencies to help me reach my goals.  :)

Annd...that's really about it.  I'm sure I'm forgetting a few different highlights, but that's most of what has happened to me since August of 2012.

I hope I didn't bore you with all the minute details of my life for the past 13 months.  There's lots of exciting stuff going on, and I love being able to share all this with you.  :)

What are some of the main highlights of your life in the past year.  In what ways have you grown?  What can you do this year that you couldn't last year?

Happy September, everyone!  Here comes the next holiday season!!

x.o.x.o.
Megan

I'm a Big Girl Now! (Almost)

Hello, again Blogger.



Been a while since I last posted for you!  So, here's whats going on in my life right now:

• doing the whole job search thing
• still unpacking from college & from getting back from Ashley's where I spent the summer
• have successfully managed to visit a majority of my friends up in VT since I've been home
• trying to decide where I'm going to live; and if/when I can afford to move in on my own
• managing how weird it feels to not be moving back into college today

Originally the plan was for Rosie and I to get an apartment in Barre, but that's not a healthy decision for me for lots of reasons which I don't really wish to divulge to strangers on the internet.  Let's just say I have a past   with Barre and I don't want to put myself in a position where I will feel unsafe or ambushed.

SO-I am contemplating where I really want to be so I can start job searching in that area and figure out life piece by piece.  To start I'll be living at home and commuting to work wherever I decide is the area I want to reside, so I'm trying to be smart and realistic about what I can afford, how much commuting my car can take until I make the big move, and where the best place for me is in Vermont.  

In the meantime I'm daydreaming about what it'll be like to finally be on my own, to be a real adult working the typical American 40 hr week, and how incredible it'll feel to finally be financially independent from my family.  I can't wait to be able to pay all my own bills every month while chipping away at my student loans that will be coming due in a few more months!  However, step 1 is finding that first career-level job to put my degree to work.

Self-sufficiency at it's finest!!!

I'll need lots of luck so feel free to leave your well-wishes below.  Much appreciated!

If anyone has any suggestions or tips on searching for and obtaining a first apartment or what the first year out of college looks like-feel free to leave those below as well.

From my brain to yours,

xoxo Megan

It's Hot; I'm Melting. Here's My Thoughts on Religion?

I'm pretty positive I can swim through the air today on Cape Cod.  It has been muggy and hot and humid for the past two days, and tomorrow is supposed to be the same.  

I consumed an entire pint of my favorite Ben and Jerry's flavor: Chocolate Fudge Brownie tonight just to cool off, and it worked....for about an hour.

 

There are so many things going through my mind right now between boyfriend stuff, job stuff, and living arrangement stuff for the upcoming months.  There are going to be big changes, ones that I hope I am ready for, and some that I know I'm ready for.

Which is why I continue to be up so late on my days off, thinking about things and hoping for the best for myself.  There are so many unknown variables in my life.  Any decision I make at this point in my life is going to put me on an entirely different life path than I would have been on if I had made the opposite decision.  That's a lot of pressure, much like the episode "Turn Left" in Doctor Who, Season 4, Episode 11.  You can watch it on Netflix or probably look it up on Youtube in parts.

So many things are about to change and I'm about to embark on a completely different life journey.  I want to serve whatever purpose I have in this world and help, touch, and connect with the people I am destined to encounter.  I want to live a comfortable lifestyle, and make sure I do whatever I can to become fully financially independent from my family all the while creating a comfortable living atmosphere and environment for myself and whomever I choose to share my life with.  I hope to be the best person I can be, and to really immerse myself in the experience of living, and working hard for that living.  I want to know that I am earning every dollar I make, and that I am dedicating myself to being the best version of myself I can possibly be.

Life/Karma has a way of returning to you whatever you deserve.  I want to put as many positive vibes in the universe not just so that I can get something good back out of it at the end of the day, but just so that I know I am sending as much positive energy into this universe as possible.  Period.  I don't want to be the person that is good and does good because s/he knows that s/he will be getting a reward for doing so, but because I feel it is the right thing to do.  

I'm not sure why I'm having this huge deep, defining moment of my life at 12:30 am when I feel like I'm sweating out every single toxin in my body, or why it feels so New Age-y, but I suppose in moments of stress/distress is when a lot of "Aha!" moments happen.  Perhaps I work best under pressure?

I suppose I've always been a New Age spiritualist.  I was baptized Catholic as a child, but once my Mom and I moved on, we stopped going to church.  I do believe there is some higher power out there, but I don't necessarily think it is one all-encompassing god (or goddess for that matter).  I think of this higher power like a huge diamond in the sky, with many different facets.  These facets reflect down on the world  creating different perspectives; gods, and goddesses in all different regions across the globe.  However, each of these higher powers stem from the same source.  When I decide to do my form of "praying", I pray generally to all gods and goddesses, (1) because I'm sure in many cases I need all the help I can get, and (2) because I don't want to offend any gods/goddesses that do exist in case they do come in different entities.  

When I do pray, I try to keep myself in perspective and not wish for a certain outcome in a situation.  I ask only that I am guided to whatever path I am supposed to be on, and that things will work out for me in the grand scheme of things "for the greater good".  I know that sometimes life hurls challenges at you right and left, but they're to help you learn, grow, and become stronger for the next set of obstacles you have to face.  I feel like everything is all a part of a grand design.  Again, as I mentioned in a previous post, this doesn't give you the free reign to let the cards fall where they may.  You still have the ability to make choices, and to decide if you will step up to the plate and face the challenges that are coming at you.  You have the ability to live a better life and to make better choices for yourself.  

Finally, my environmentalist side comes out.  I feel that all Earthly creatures come from the Earth, and are returned to the Earth (in both a physical and spiritual way).  When I die, I hope I am not buried in a casket.  I would like to be returned to the world in the most natural way possible.  I want to decompose directly in the ground without being protected by a wooden casket, be cremated, or (as terrible as this sounds), be returned to the ocean to be eaten by fish and sea creatures.  Seriously, what is the point of being protected in a casket?  You're dead.  Just let nature take you back.  I know this sounds like a grotesque, horror movie scene, but really, I don't want to use more of the Earth's materials to give me a "proper burial".  I just want to be left in piece(s) [see what I did there?] to be consumed again by nature, and folded back into the planet like a nice pizza dough.

I'm not sure whether I believe in reincarnation per se.  But I believe that we have a symbiotic relationship with the Earth we come from.  Just because we are human doesn't mean we have the right to overpopulate and destroy the miracles of life, peace, and solace on this planet.  We are no greater than the common squirrels, shrimp, or dung beetle that also exist on this planet.  In the grand scheme of things, we are all just a life form trying to survive.  So why do us humans continue to do nearly everything we can to ruin or spoil life-when so little of it already exists?  Greed.  Lust for power.  The power to feel "human" emotions.  The same components that "set us apart" from other life forms-a brain to think with and process complicated situations.  A brain with emotions when once corrupted, ruins life for all others nearby.

Sorry that this just turned into a very political rant.  But it's how I feel.  We come from this planet.  Ingesting all of these synthetic materials and man-made toxins are not doing us any favors.  Notice how you feel better after eating a wholesome turkey sandwich with cheddar cheese on whole grain bread and veggies over a McDonald's value meal?  (Don't get me wrong-I do love the taste of McDonald's food).  But the food is probably mostly synthetic.  It's bad for you, brings more toxins and salts/fats into your body that most people typically don't need, and leaves you hungry for more later on.  Whatever chemicals are used in the food create sort of an addiction.  Once you go to "splurge" once, it's hard to resist the temptation to do it again.  

Also, apparently the nuggets from McDonald's melt into liquid?  "One former McDonald’s employee warned against the chicken nuggets recalling: ‘I accidentally left a whole bag of about 100 chicken nuggets out on a counter for way too long. They melted. Into a pool of liquid. I never understood why. But they were completely indiscernible as being the nuggets I once knew."  Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2173221/Chicken-nuggets-dirty-ice-dont-dare-touch-ketchup-bottle-The-dangers-fast-food-choices-people-work-joints.html#ixzz20qwB8iiP

Anyway-back to my point.  The reason you feel better after eating the turkey sandwich is because it's made of wholesome products coming directly from nature.  All of the nutrients are still in the food, and it doesn't leave you CRAVING more hours later.  You also feel better about yourself for making a healthy choice over the easy way out.  Plus, your body runs better once it has all of these nutrients coming more directly from nature.  

All of these things are suddenly coming back to the forefront as I'm thinking about my life and how I want to lead it.  So what, I'm most comfortable being a New Age spiritualist?  So what I actually own my own Tarot Deck (not that I use it often, but I hope to remedy that once I have my own place that isn't in a college dormitory)?  So what I perceive my "god" to be a little different than yours?  This doesn't make me a bad person.  This doesn't mean I'm messing with the dark forces of the universe and am opening doors that I don't know how to close.  This means I'm living life as best I can, and doing what I can to make my home on Earth as good a place as possible, while accepting a little help and guidance from my friends in the big diamond in the sky every so often.  

As soon as I am home with access to my candles again, I shall light one and reflect on every other person in the world who is at the same life transition place as myself.  We have lots of big choices to make, and not a lot of time to make these choices.  This is the biggest life transition of them all-leaving the house for good, spreading our wings, and learning how to fly.  We could all use a little luck and guidance right now.

From my brain to yours,

Megan

My Big Decision

Today is the day.

Friday the 13th, 2012.

I have officially written to The University of New Hampshire in Durham, NH to see if they can defer my acceptance for a year.  Which means....

I have decided to find an awesome full time job with benefits for at least a year, and to get an apartment in Barre, VT with Rosie!!!

I'm so excited!  I can't wait to find my financial foothold as a real adult and to finally be able to feel financially independent from my family!  I'll be able to afford my own things, my mom won't be stuck with my bills as well as hers anymore, and it'll just be much better for everyone, all around.  =)

I have been applying for jobs like a crazy person.  Hopefully one of them (a few, preferably) will want me and be willing to take me on.  I'd love to find at least one, but it'd be nice to have a choice, as well.  "The starting median salary for a social worker [is] $33,400" (http://www.socialworkersspeak.org/media/nasw-responds-to-article-on-worst-paying-college-degrees.html).  That's a $676 paycheck every week (before taxes), which is $17.41/hr if you work a 40 hr week.  I mean, according to the article it's 'supposedly' one of the worst paying college degrees, but $17/hr is more than I've ever been paid in my lifetime.  Clearly, I will be very excited about this kind of paycheck.

I'm also SUPER EXCITED to start my first ever apartment hunt!  Luckily Rosie is also looking for a new place to live right now, so we're trying to find a nice 2 bedroom and split all the costs for rent/utilities/etc.

Probably what we'll have to use for furniture at least to get started...

I can't wait to start my real adult life and to live in an apartment which for the first time, I'll finally be able to afford!  AHH! 

Please wish me luck in all my endeavors.  I have a lot to learn and get used to as I get ready to embark on my new life path, so I'll need all the well-wishing I can get!

My goal is to get moved into a nice cozy apartment (with heat included in the rent price) before the snow flies in Vermont.  If you have any advice please leave it below!

I'm Poor.

Ah, Ramen.  We've all fallen into your grasp at one point or another.

My apologies for lack of a more creative title for this post.  I'm very stressed lately because of how broke I seem to continue to be.  And there's no light at the end of the tunnel for at least another 2 years-once I can complete my Master's in Social Work degree and FINALLY MAYBE start my real life as a fully grown, financially independent adult.

I still have about $300 more worth of textbooks to purchase, an estimated $300 parking pass to purchase and that's not including my $70/month phone bill and $40/month credit card bill, or gas for the car, oil changes, etc.  You know, basic life stuff.  And the thing is, I really don't actually have that many bills.  Just phone and credit card-and my credit card payment is really cheap (because I have a Discover Student Credit Card which gives me a credit limit of only $500-thank God).  My problem is that I don't have enough money to feel comfortable making my monthly bills.  There literally aren't enough hours in the day for me to work enough hours to make enough money to feel really truly secure.  

I just want to live comfortably.  I'm not looking to become a millionaire and hoard my millions of dollars away from society forever.  I want to spend a little to have fun every month, get by on bills, and still have enough extra to put away in a savings account just in case of a huge life emergency.  I REALLY don't think I'm asking for a whole hell of a lot.  Unfortunately I need to take out $80,000 in loans to get my Master's degree which will help me get an adequate paying job in order to support myself for the rest of my life.  

What's even more stressful is that my family isn't able to help out at all with grad school.  They've already done so much to help me get through undergrad that they're pretty much tapped out.  I feel bad that I'm part of the reason they're so strapped right now, but I also really can't help it that society has deemed it necessary to not only have your high school diploma, but a college degree (Master's preferred in most cases) in order to get a job that will sustain you.  

I'm really starting to resent the Capitalist system.  The 'survival of the fittest' or 'each (wo)man for his/her self is ridiculous.  We're all human, we're all in this together.  Everyone needs to make a living, everyone needs to survive.  Collectivist societies have the right idea, I think.  I'm just so sick of America and how the poor and downtrodden continue to be trodden upon regardless of how hard they work, while rich floozies can sit on their laurels and become famous for being dramatic idiotic a$$holes.  In WHAT society does that make sense to anyone?

I'm seriously considering moving to Canada once I have my Master's.  I want to check out Toronto, and some of the other fun Canadian cities.  After a few years, I'd like to apply for citizenship and be free of America while I try to make a comfortable living for myself.  I refuse to be forced to eat Ramen for the rest of my life (as good as it tastes occasionally-when you're not having to LIVE off the stuff), and I refuse to be swallowed up by student loan debt for the rest of my career-track life.  I want to be a healthy, happy person.  I don't deserve the short stick.  Not this time.

Love you all.  Hope life is treating you the way you deserve to be treated!

Have any of you ever visited Toronto, moved to Canada, or know someone who has?  I'd love to hear your stories!

From my brain to yours,

-Megan

Stream 3: A Proposition

I was talking with Ashley recently about plus size fashion and how frustrating it can be for me to go shop for new clothes.  Pretty much my entire wardrobe comes from Lane Bryant.  This isn't inherently a good or bad thing-but obviously it severely limits my style, choices, and affordable options.

I would enjoy looking through and shopping at a Torrid or Forever 21 (F21) Plus, but those don't really exist in Vermont.  Also, Torrid is in about the same price range as Lane Bryant, which means my family (mom and gram, specifically) buy pretty much all my clothes for me.  We're always in the store together so I can still get the clothes I pick out, but I can't wait to be financially independent and able to afford to buy my own clothes.

Smaller women have so many more options on where to shop.  This allows them the freedom to create their own sense of style, dress how they want to be perceived on any particular day, and have the flexibility in price ranges.  Not so with plus size women.  Bodies come in many different shapes and sizes.  Why should those of us who are bigger be left out of the fashion world because smaller women are more readily accepted as be beauty standard in society?

As it stands, unless you want to dress in bulky unflattering sweats purchased from your local drug store or wear skin tight clothing 2-3 sizes too small, you better have the money to afford the $50-$100 price range for a typical, average piece of clothing.  See?  Things can get pretty desperate.

So--I propose a revolution.  Plus size women and designers, gear up and take Fashion Week by storm next year.  Let's team up with some other INCREDIBLE designers and find or INVENT new cuts that make us look smokin'.  A-line, empire or high-waisted dresses do not always fit plus size women the way that they are intended to flatter smaller bodies and frames.  Let's get creative, think outside the box, and make something incredible for the plus size ladies.

Let's not be defined by our limitations.  Let's dress the way we want, the way that brings out our inner beauty, our inner strength.  Let's make plus size clothing and fashion affordable.  And lastly, let's remember that every body is beautiful.  Every woman deserves the chance to showcase all the beauty that her body holds.

From my brain to yours,

Megan

Stream 2: My Little Ottoman

As I sit and think about heading off to grad school this fall, I inevitably find myself thinking about what my everyday life will be like.

What is my room going to look like?  How am I going to decorate?  What will I store in my perfect little ottoman now that I no longer have to hide my alcohol from campus security?  (The dorm I will be living in is a 21+ dorm, so it is okay to drink privately in your room with the door closed).

An ottoman is such a perfect furniture piece.  It functions as a stool, a seat, a footrest, and as storage (if you have a hollow one with a removable top).  I will be living in a single in Babcock at UNH in the fall, which means I won't have a lot of space.  I'll need to maximize storage whenever possible.  Lofting the bed to move other furniture pieces underneath is only the beginning of creative storage.  Knowing how to maximize your vertical space is key.

For example, purchasing vertical hanging boxes for your closet space can help you get your shoes off the floor, store those extra bulky winter sweaters, or keep some extra office supplies in an organized, out-of-the-way place.

Additionally, a standing plastic tower that fits under the bed is perfect for organizing and storing medicines, undergarments, or extra make up and jewelry so these items don't clutter the larger drawers in the dresser that is assigned to you by the college or university.

As wonderful and clever as these other pieces are, nothing beats my little ottoman.  It can be a great hiding place as it simply looks like decor or functional extra college kid seating.  While I'm not sure what I want to store in it next year as of yet, here are a few ideas of mine:

• Snacks
• Extra notebooks/stationary/office supplies (frees up clutter on the desk)!
• Handbags I'm not currently using
• Shoes
• Extra sheets/pillow cases/out-of-season scarves
• Decorations for each season/holiday to keep my room festive
• Scented goods for the room/air fresheners

How do you creatively store things when living in such close quarters?  Where are your best hiding places?

From my brain to yours,

Megan

Stream 1

Because I suck at finding inspiration to sit and write about, I decided to get started with a stream of consciousness piece.  Here it is:

I believe everything happens for a reason.  Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.  One door closes, another opens.  Insert a multitude of other such cliches here.

Often it is hard to see past the negative aspects to this crazy, dramatic thing called life.  One word has hardly ever held so much room for interpretation or emotional turmoil.  Some see life as a blessing or gift, others as a curse.  How is one's lot in life determined?  Why do bad things happen to good people?  Is Karma broken?  Is Karma real?  The human race has often wondered about its place in "the grand scheme of things", as they say.  Are we alone in the universe?  Does a god preside over all of creation?  And what does that say about those who choose to believe in such a power that may or may not exist?  What does that say about atheists?

Are humans meant to be strictly logical creatures, living as empirical scientists?  Are we meant to be intuitive, emotional creatures--living passionately and without law or governance?

Many say that in order to survive you must be able to adapt.  Why is it then, that little pebbles survive longer on this terrestrial planet than living people, who are always searching for self-improvement?  The adaptability theory seems flawed.

These are big questions about life and the human experience.  I don't know the answers.  Maybe I'm not supposed to.  Maybe I can't; human comprehension only goes so far.  We don't even know how to use the entire capacity of the brain's ability to function and process information.

All I really know is who I am and how I experience the world around me.  I live both passionately and rationally, I believe in Karma and I believe that there may be some power, god(s) or goddess(es) in the universe overseeing the grand scheme of things--making sure that the balance of the universe is always in check.

I do not, however, believe that this is an excuse to lay back and let the pieces fall where they may.  All humans have power in that they can make decisions.  If you want your life to be different, then have the courage to make the necessary changes.  Be an active participant in your life.  If you want something, go after it!

Sometimes even after putting in all that hard work things will not go the way you envisioned.  You know what?  That's okay.  It wasn't time for you to go down that path yet.  You have more to learn and more experiences to obtain before taking that path.  Have faith in your life.  Believe that you are exactly where you are meant to be at exactly the right time (even if "exactly the right time" means you are currently 10 minutes late for work).  Things happen for a reason.

Live your life the way you want.  Do the things you want to be remembered for.  Be fearless, and love and respect yourself.  Never stop learning, never stop growing.  Adapt if you need to, remain stagnant if you want to.  The possibilities are endless.

From my brain to yours,
Megan

First Week Back

Ashley showing school spirit by wearing copies of the latest edition of our school newspaper, The Current.

Left hand blue?

This picture is stunning of all three of us!  (Me, Ashley, Cassie).

Kitchen party!

Ashley and I looking adorable.

I successfully survived my first week of my last semester of college!  Whoo hoo!  My classes are mostly so-so, so far.  Hopefully I'll develop more of an affection for them as we move further along in this semester.  Unfortunately senioritis has definitely set in starting from Day 1, so I'll have to stay strong for the remainder of this school year.

Ryan will be joining our party tomorrow when he comes to move back into UVM!  I miss that boy, so that will be fantastic.

All but one of my textbooks have gotten to me in time for class, so I'm waiting patiently for things to get in order.  I have also been selling my textbooks on half.com.  Can I get a HOO-RAH for extra cash?  :D

In other news, my fish are all still alive and doing fairly well.  My plan for when my guppies, Killer and Diana Ross die, is to go to Walmart and get a new set of 5 and create a new bond with new family members.  <3

I don't have much else to report except for that I'm poor and waiting for my refund to come in from the school.  Ryan is going to help feed me over the next few weeks until I have money to go grocery shopping again.  (I love that boy.)  :)  Well will make it through!

What has your first week back to school looked like?

Labels

I'm so cool I'm making a blog post about LABELS.

Seriously though-my blog needed some cleaning up.  I knew what labels were used for, but I didn't know how to use them effectively.  I'd use them to highlight the main points within my blogs instead of recurring themes throughout.  Perhaps through this process I will discover something new and exciting to blog about, or to find some common theme to string all of these posts together other than the fact that all of my posts thus far are about the meager details of my life which many of you probably don't care much about!

I'll keep thinking and get back to you!

Its Been A Really Long Time...

Hello, everyone!

I haven't really posted more than one or two blog posts this past semester.  The truth is, I haven't really had much to say!  I've been too busy actually enjoying my life and having a great time of it to actually sit down and take the time to share.  So, here is an overview of important things that have happened this semester:

• Straight As!  Whoo hoo!!!
• Internship at The Arbors has been going well!  I'll be ready when I get back for next semester to pick up the pace a little and continue making my time there as awesome as possible.
• Making leaps and bounds through the Netflix queue.  Since Netflix split up its plan with the price increases, I've been subscribed online to the stream online plan.  Once I watch everything I can get through instant streaming, I'll switch to the physical disc mailing plan.  My most recent love has been How I Met Your Mother.  Words cannot describe...
• Grocery shopping and paying bills worked out awesome with my refund from the school up until the last 3 weeks.  I'll need to rethink that for next time.. Haha!
• Ryan and I are still going strong!  We sailed through our 5, 6, 7, and 8 month anniversaries.  April 5th of 2012 will mark our 1 year as an official couple!  YEEAHHHH!!!
• I bought fish!  I started off the summer with 5 guppies.  One died from the stress of the transfer from the store to my tank.  Then there were 4: Cappie (the only one with visible distinguishable marks), and "The Supremes" (the other 3 look-alikes).  Unfortunately now we're down to only two of the Supremes left (whom I have now dubbed Killer and Donna).  **Note, all my guppies were males--however, you have to admit that Cappie and The Supremes is kind of catchy...**  AND the newest addition to the family is a beta named Emmett.  He has his own tank and his own life, and I think that makes him happy.
• Space (my car) has thrived and deteriorated and thrived again!  We're hanging in the balance at around 160,000 miles.  We have winter tires but no snow....and we have oil and antifreeze that remains within the inner workings of the vehicle.  Win for all involved.
• Excellent drunken house parties have occurred: the very realistic Prohibition 1920s Speakeasy (where many of the attendees were underage [of course, this is college] so we all hid in the basement to manage the noise levels-good times), the famous Mustache party (yep-you guessed it. Mustache mandatory for attendance), ALL of Halloween weekend (3 parties in 2 days-not bad!), the quietish Christmas party between close Burlington-bound people in my life, and of course the other various nights that involved going to bars or staying in and mixing fun drinks by ourselves!
• Very few stressful nights worrying about homework and how I'm going to manage all of my classwork plus life in general.  4 classes per semester is PERFECT!  I'm so glad I put in all my hard times my Freshman/Sophomore years.  Senior year is a breeze so far, and I'm loving every second of it!  Sure there have been a few downs or hiccups in the general flow of things, but speaking overall, this has really been my best semester at Champlain so far.
• Oh, and I totally taught myself how to knit over Thanksgiving break via YouTube videos.  Oh yeah.  New life skills FOR THE WIN!

I'm so happy that this year has been going so well.  I can't imagine what this year would have been like with a schedule like my Spring semester of Sophomore year.  (That was when I broke up with Luke, was managing a 12 hr/wk unpaid internship, working as a Peer Advisor for as many hours/wk as was necessary, as well as working ~10hrs/wk for my mandatory work-study hours so I could have a paycheck).  I really wasn't sure I was going to make it that semester.  BUT-I did, and I'm stronger for it.  

I'm proud of myself for all I have accomplished so far.  I work damn hard and I deserve a lot of respect for all I do.  What is next on my list is to start applying for grad schools:  Boston University, Springfield College, University of Vermont, University of New Hampshire.  I'm working on getting all of my required application materials together over this break, and sending them out quite soon once I return to Burlington/Winooski.  

Lastly: I have been a busy beaver over break.  I got home on Friday evening, and it is now Tuesday.  In this time, my mother and I have switched bedrooms.  I'm enjoying being home SO much more.  I don't feel so depressed and aimless as I thought I would.  A big project like this is just what I needed to keep myself busy and motivated.  I seriously got rid of about 5 bags of garbage, and donated another 5 or so to the Salvation Army.  The reason for this is that my old room was about 1/2 the size of the basement (about 1/4 of the entire house).  I moved from this big room to my moms normal-sized bedroom that actually has windows!  She moved into the bigger room.  Therefore, I needed to really focus on getting rid of a lot of my old stuff so that it would all fit into this new, smaller, more manageable room.  I cleaned out everything: stuff from past boyfriends that have been sitting or buried in my room, things I haven't touched or worried about in years, stuff I thought I would definitely need/use but never got around to, and even some stuff I had been emotionally attached to.  However, it was time to let it all go, to let it be free.  While I may still have another bag or two of trash to take out, I feel great!  Cleansed.  Like I'm getting rid of everything so that whatever comes after Champlain will have room to take hold and lead me to where I'm supposed to be-without leaving too much behind.  So far both my mother and I seem happy with the trade.

Well, this wraps everything up rather nicely from the past 4 months of my life.  I feel like I need to find a new purpose for blogging again.  I wish I could be as dedicated as other folks in writing a fabulous blog-stuff other people actually care about instead of something that looks like a journal of my life.  I will gladly accept any and all blogging ideas and suggestions below.  Tell me what you'd most want to hear/learn about!  If it is something that lines up well with my interests or knowledge and expertise, I will try to move the blog in that direction--and work on posting more frequently.  :)

Auf Wiedersehen!

Waiting For You

Waiting For You

I breathe, I steady myself.

Can’t breathe, can’t for the life of me figure out WHY

Why you haven’t noticed…

Why you haven’t noticed me.

Sitting inches from you, ITCHING

Itching to feel you caress my face

With your big--

Your big, gentle hands that could never hurt anyone,

Except me.

You breathe in. I breathe in.

We exhale together.

So close but still so far…

So far you haven’t noticed.

Haven’t noticed that I…

I am yours.

Forever.

You breathe in.  I breathe in.

Our moment hangs in the balance for you--

For you to notice me.

Until then

I breathe, I steady myself.

Mismatched Cups

You know what's frustrating?

When you have a million mismatched cups and mugs in your kitchen cabinet and things don't fit quite right because of it.  But on the other hand, some of those cups have sentimental value, and you couldn't imagine yourself parting with them.

Welcome to college.

As I stood in my kitchen the other day putting dishes away, I had a flash-forward of my life.

My darling Ryan and I were happily en route in our life together: married, no kids yet, and I was still putting dishes away.  But we had an actual dish set.  Dishes that went together, that matched.  No more thrown-together plastic and glass dishware that consisted of my current dishware.  (And no more cheapie silverware from Walmart [5 for $1, anyone?]).

I'm really excited and ready to push beyond my mismatched THINGS in college life.  I'm ready to have my own place where I can own a complete dish set if I want, where I can host Christmas cocktail parties and serve alcohol because I'm over 21, and where I can really get a snapshot of what the rest of my life is going to look like.  (And make some changes if necessary).

As for the mismatched cup era?  Well, it was fun.  Developing relationships with half plastic/half glass dish sets has been a good time through the hilarity of college.  But, I'm ready for something better.

  

Happier Than I Ever Thought I'd Ever Be

The day before last, I took the biggest risk of my entire life.  I laid everything down on the line, threw all my cards on the table, and put myself way, way out there.  Literally my entire life, my entire future was at stake, and I sat down to play poker with fate.  (Actually I can't play poker, so looking back on it, that might not have been my smartest move ever.)

HOWEVER, everything worked out sooo beautifully in the end.  For those of you who have been living under a rock  for the past 2 days, Ryan and I are now officially an item.  Oh, yes.  Burlington's new power couple.  After years of dealing with this in silence, I decided I'd had enough.  Now or never.  Time to reveal all.  And the result was something so much more magical than I could have ever expected.

Tuesday I was a wreck.  I gave Ryan the 6 page letter which housed my heart, future, and potentially emotional and mental stability for the next three years at least in the morning before school, and proceeded to act like a crazy person the rest of the day.  I'm pretty sure my body thought that I drank 4 cups of straight espresso every 3 hours or something.  Heart palpitations were in abundance.  I walked down Church St and fit right in with everyone else due to my talking to myself and the random hand gestures that were sure to have accompanied the conversations I had with myself.  Oh yeah, SO sane.

In order to give my body a rest I texted Ryan (as if nothing unusual had happened that day) and told him I'd probably be taking a nap right when I got home from work.  The nap worked out well, although I had some crazy dreams (not all that unusual for me) which I proceeded to text and inform Ryan of.  I got up a half hour before my staff meeting, and decided that I GUESSED I was brave enough to get online and check Facebook and stuff before staff meeting.  Waiting for me in my inbox was an e-mail from Ryan, subject "<3".

Okay, so now take my Church St persona and multiply that by 3.  It was safe to say I was FREAKIN' OUT!  I proceeded to read the sweetest, most vivid and emotional e-mail of my life.  I cried.  It's now saved forever in the catacombs of my e-mail folders.  Needless to say, Ryan said yes, and I found myself saved from total and utter destruction. 

I can't even put into words how happy I am.  It feels so refreshing to get everything off my chest that I've been holding for 2-3 years now, and to be able to finally recognize my feelings and drag them from the dark into the light.  Ryan always has been and always will be my everything.  I don't know how I lived before him, and I can't imagine my future without him.  I love that I can reach out and touch him now whenever the urge strikes me, and I don't have to just pretend I'm just "WTFing" him or something else of the sort. 

I have a boyfriend again!  But Ryan not just my boyfried, he's my best friend.  I am in the most perfect relationship I think I could have ever asked for, and my life finally feels complete.  Thank you to those who helped me through this rough weekend, and who kept me from shattering into a million pieces.  This is the understatement of the year, but WHOA, what a week!



(This is obviously us.  Can't you tell?  LMFAO!)



The Power of Resistance

The Power of Resistance

Netflix Queue

Hello, Blogosphere!

Today I'm here to chat with you all about Netflix, and what my queue currently looks like. 

Back in October, I finally decided that I was sick of trying to (illegally) stream videos and things to watch when I got bored (and deal with the stress of wondering if I had infected my computer with a virus in the process,) so I decided to give Netflix a try after noticing that it really wasn't a scam, and that many of my college counterparts are also signed up.

Long story short, I LOVED it.  I quickly went through and found literally hundreds of titles that I've wanted to see but haven't had the chance, as well as oldies but goodies.  Unfortunately, my excitement was capped when I reached the 500 title limit for the queue.  Hahahaha.  Awesome.

Since then, I've been working hard to bring down the queue to a more manageable level, which is sometimes really rather difficult considering some of the other stuff I have on my list (separate from the queue) consists of about 40 television shows I've wanted to see or have heard pretty good things about, but never had time/was able to sit down and watch them as they were aired on television. 

Now-I'm making up for lost time.  At 500 movies and 40 television shows (not counting the many seasons some of them have,) I definitely have my work cut out for me.

Now, what's taking so long?  Well, when I signed up for Netflix I told Ryan we would be able to watch a lot of these movies together, and when we were both satisfied, we could delete the title from the queue.  That turned out to be a much more difficult process than originally intended.  Our schedules are both very hectic, so it's becoming a 'Megan-watches-a-movie-and-rates-it-and-when-Ryan-watches-it-he-can-delete-it-from-the-Queue' sort of process.  Currently, I'm at about 450-something movies in the physical queue (the ones that physically get sent to your mailbox,) and about 48 titles in the Instant Watch queue.

In short-we're working on it.  :)  There's a LOT of really great media out there, and I'm proud to be supporting Netflix with my business.  They have an amazing company, and I think I'll be registered with them until the day I die (or run out of movies and television shows to watch.) 

XXOO

-Megan

Past. Present. Future.

Ever think about how intertwined the past, present, and future are? 

It really is a weave.  All three parts are required to make a tight, and warm tapestry.  Without even one thread, one tiny seemingly insignificant event, the entire weave can be compromised.  I suppose that means you have to believe you are in the right place at the right time.  Fate knows what you need to do for the greater good.  Believe that you are exactly where you need to be.

Now, for personal implications of PPF: for my mom's Christmas present this year, we took a little blast from the past.  Meanwhile, I was/am/have become slightly miffed about my rightnow present (stuck at home and not working,) and really excited for my soon-to-be present (moving into the Q in just a few days.)  Additionally, I'm wicked stressed about what is happening this summer, mostly because my plans are still way up in the air.  AHHHH!!!

  

Here's the deal with summer:

Angela offered me a full-time job at Career Services this summer.  AWESOME!  That means I know I will be getting 32-40 hrs/wk, unlike Kinney's which will give me only 15-maybe.  If I'm lucky.  I'm excited about trying to take this on.  1) Because it's my first full-time job ever.  2) Because that means I'll get to stay in/around Burlington for the summer.

Which brings me to part 2 of this little scenario.  I need a place to live for the summer.  After chatting back and forth with Angela, we've decided that maybe there could be a need for Summer RAs (meaning even MORE hours/wk plus potentially free room!)  Alternatively, if I'm working full-time at the college, I can rent a room from Spinner.  Click here for info.  Last year's rates went for about $320/month, which I know I'll be able to manage if I'm working FT @ Career Services.

I'd love to be a Summer RA if it means I get more money and I get free room.  Also, it'll give me even more experience on my resume.  BUT-even if I'm stuck at Spinner, I'm excited for that too.  Here's why.

This will be my first time living on my own-ish ever, with a full-time job.  This is exactly what I'm looking forward to post-college.  I really love the idea of this because it's another tiny step in me learning how to do things on my own.  I'm like a baby bird inching toward the edge of the nest to learn how to fly for the first time.  This will give me a chance to test my wings and see how I do. 

Also, this will be the first summer that I'll have my own car.  (It's coming in March!)  This will make it possible for me to live somewhere other than right at home in Lyndonville.  Not that I don't love my family!  But, I think it's time.  Because I'll be working full-time right at the college, I'll be able to get the reduced rate of $320/month living in a room at Spinner, and I'll figure out what it's like to live on my own, buy my own groceries, handle my bills on my own, pre-pay my mom again for phone bills and such, and see how I handle 40 hrs/wk!  It's another small step in me learning to do it all on my own before I'm just thrust out into the big bad world by myself. 

This is clearly a much better choice than only being allowed 15 hrs/wk at Kinney's. 

But-nothing is set in stone yet.  I'm really hoping and pushing for Burlington and working full-time for Angela, but just like having to believe you're in the right place at the right time, you have to believe that things will work out in the end.  That means learning not to worry so much (a laughable task for me, but I'm trying) and learning to let go.

Let the river of life take you where it shall.

  

Home

My bed never felt so good.  :)

Turns out, Kinney's doesn't have any hours to give me over this short break.

So?

I get to take 2 weeks and relax!  No work, no commitments, etc.  It's going to be wonderful.  :)  What will suck though, is no money.  Christmas presents from me are going to be pathetic, so be prepared.  Haha!

I'm going to try to read through as many of the 6 books I've still got saved from this summer that I have yet to read, as well as work on my Netflix queue.  I feel bad that Ryan probably won't be able to catch up with me because I've got so much free time, but hopefully he'll be able to fit in the majority of the things I've watched over break, and maybe even next semester.

This break in my life feels like it was planned.  This is a time for me to figure out everything.  A time for new beginnings.  To take the next few steps toward my big goals in life.  To start fresh.  To do things right.  Metaphor: this is a cocoon from within which I will begin my transformation from silly undergrad-college-student-caterpillar, to full-blown butterfly adult.  Whoa.

Get ready.  Because my life is going to be awesome.

Also, I realize that this post only had about 3 sentences to do with being home.  Bear with me.  :)

XXOO

<3 Megan <3