I'm a Big Girl Now! (Almost)

Hello, again Blogger.



Been a while since I last posted for you!  So, here's whats going on in my life right now:

• doing the whole job search thing
• still unpacking from college & from getting back from Ashley's where I spent the summer
• have successfully managed to visit a majority of my friends up in VT since I've been home
• trying to decide where I'm going to live; and if/when I can afford to move in on my own
• managing how weird it feels to not be moving back into college today

Originally the plan was for Rosie and I to get an apartment in Barre, but that's not a healthy decision for me for lots of reasons which I don't really wish to divulge to strangers on the internet.  Let's just say I have a past   with Barre and I don't want to put myself in a position where I will feel unsafe or ambushed.

SO-I am contemplating where I really want to be so I can start job searching in that area and figure out life piece by piece.  To start I'll be living at home and commuting to work wherever I decide is the area I want to reside, so I'm trying to be smart and realistic about what I can afford, how much commuting my car can take until I make the big move, and where the best place for me is in Vermont.  

In the meantime I'm daydreaming about what it'll be like to finally be on my own, to be a real adult working the typical American 40 hr week, and how incredible it'll feel to finally be financially independent from my family.  I can't wait to be able to pay all my own bills every month while chipping away at my student loans that will be coming due in a few more months!  However, step 1 is finding that first career-level job to put my degree to work.

Self-sufficiency at it's finest!!!

I'll need lots of luck so feel free to leave your well-wishes below.  Much appreciated!

If anyone has any suggestions or tips on searching for and obtaining a first apartment or what the first year out of college looks like-feel free to leave those below as well.

From my brain to yours,

xoxo Megan

It's Hot; I'm Melting. Here's My Thoughts on Religion?

I'm pretty positive I can swim through the air today on Cape Cod.  It has been muggy and hot and humid for the past two days, and tomorrow is supposed to be the same.  

I consumed an entire pint of my favorite Ben and Jerry's flavor: Chocolate Fudge Brownie tonight just to cool off, and it worked....for about an hour.

 

There are so many things going through my mind right now between boyfriend stuff, job stuff, and living arrangement stuff for the upcoming months.  There are going to be big changes, ones that I hope I am ready for, and some that I know I'm ready for.

Which is why I continue to be up so late on my days off, thinking about things and hoping for the best for myself.  There are so many unknown variables in my life.  Any decision I make at this point in my life is going to put me on an entirely different life path than I would have been on if I had made the opposite decision.  That's a lot of pressure, much like the episode "Turn Left" in Doctor Who, Season 4, Episode 11.  You can watch it on Netflix or probably look it up on Youtube in parts.

So many things are about to change and I'm about to embark on a completely different life journey.  I want to serve whatever purpose I have in this world and help, touch, and connect with the people I am destined to encounter.  I want to live a comfortable lifestyle, and make sure I do whatever I can to become fully financially independent from my family all the while creating a comfortable living atmosphere and environment for myself and whomever I choose to share my life with.  I hope to be the best person I can be, and to really immerse myself in the experience of living, and working hard for that living.  I want to know that I am earning every dollar I make, and that I am dedicating myself to being the best version of myself I can possibly be.

Life/Karma has a way of returning to you whatever you deserve.  I want to put as many positive vibes in the universe not just so that I can get something good back out of it at the end of the day, but just so that I know I am sending as much positive energy into this universe as possible.  Period.  I don't want to be the person that is good and does good because s/he knows that s/he will be getting a reward for doing so, but because I feel it is the right thing to do.  

I'm not sure why I'm having this huge deep, defining moment of my life at 12:30 am when I feel like I'm sweating out every single toxin in my body, or why it feels so New Age-y, but I suppose in moments of stress/distress is when a lot of "Aha!" moments happen.  Perhaps I work best under pressure?

I suppose I've always been a New Age spiritualist.  I was baptized Catholic as a child, but once my Mom and I moved on, we stopped going to church.  I do believe there is some higher power out there, but I don't necessarily think it is one all-encompassing god (or goddess for that matter).  I think of this higher power like a huge diamond in the sky, with many different facets.  These facets reflect down on the world  creating different perspectives; gods, and goddesses in all different regions across the globe.  However, each of these higher powers stem from the same source.  When I decide to do my form of "praying", I pray generally to all gods and goddesses, (1) because I'm sure in many cases I need all the help I can get, and (2) because I don't want to offend any gods/goddesses that do exist in case they do come in different entities.  

When I do pray, I try to keep myself in perspective and not wish for a certain outcome in a situation.  I ask only that I am guided to whatever path I am supposed to be on, and that things will work out for me in the grand scheme of things "for the greater good".  I know that sometimes life hurls challenges at you right and left, but they're to help you learn, grow, and become stronger for the next set of obstacles you have to face.  I feel like everything is all a part of a grand design.  Again, as I mentioned in a previous post, this doesn't give you the free reign to let the cards fall where they may.  You still have the ability to make choices, and to decide if you will step up to the plate and face the challenges that are coming at you.  You have the ability to live a better life and to make better choices for yourself.  

Finally, my environmentalist side comes out.  I feel that all Earthly creatures come from the Earth, and are returned to the Earth (in both a physical and spiritual way).  When I die, I hope I am not buried in a casket.  I would like to be returned to the world in the most natural way possible.  I want to decompose directly in the ground without being protected by a wooden casket, be cremated, or (as terrible as this sounds), be returned to the ocean to be eaten by fish and sea creatures.  Seriously, what is the point of being protected in a casket?  You're dead.  Just let nature take you back.  I know this sounds like a grotesque, horror movie scene, but really, I don't want to use more of the Earth's materials to give me a "proper burial".  I just want to be left in piece(s) [see what I did there?] to be consumed again by nature, and folded back into the planet like a nice pizza dough.

I'm not sure whether I believe in reincarnation per se.  But I believe that we have a symbiotic relationship with the Earth we come from.  Just because we are human doesn't mean we have the right to overpopulate and destroy the miracles of life, peace, and solace on this planet.  We are no greater than the common squirrels, shrimp, or dung beetle that also exist on this planet.  In the grand scheme of things, we are all just a life form trying to survive.  So why do us humans continue to do nearly everything we can to ruin or spoil life-when so little of it already exists?  Greed.  Lust for power.  The power to feel "human" emotions.  The same components that "set us apart" from other life forms-a brain to think with and process complicated situations.  A brain with emotions when once corrupted, ruins life for all others nearby.

Sorry that this just turned into a very political rant.  But it's how I feel.  We come from this planet.  Ingesting all of these synthetic materials and man-made toxins are not doing us any favors.  Notice how you feel better after eating a wholesome turkey sandwich with cheddar cheese on whole grain bread and veggies over a McDonald's value meal?  (Don't get me wrong-I do love the taste of McDonald's food).  But the food is probably mostly synthetic.  It's bad for you, brings more toxins and salts/fats into your body that most people typically don't need, and leaves you hungry for more later on.  Whatever chemicals are used in the food create sort of an addiction.  Once you go to "splurge" once, it's hard to resist the temptation to do it again.  

Also, apparently the nuggets from McDonald's melt into liquid?  "One former McDonald’s employee warned against the chicken nuggets recalling: ‘I accidentally left a whole bag of about 100 chicken nuggets out on a counter for way too long. They melted. Into a pool of liquid. I never understood why. But they were completely indiscernible as being the nuggets I once knew."  Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2173221/Chicken-nuggets-dirty-ice-dont-dare-touch-ketchup-bottle-The-dangers-fast-food-choices-people-work-joints.html#ixzz20qwB8iiP

Anyway-back to my point.  The reason you feel better after eating the turkey sandwich is because it's made of wholesome products coming directly from nature.  All of the nutrients are still in the food, and it doesn't leave you CRAVING more hours later.  You also feel better about yourself for making a healthy choice over the easy way out.  Plus, your body runs better once it has all of these nutrients coming more directly from nature.  

All of these things are suddenly coming back to the forefront as I'm thinking about my life and how I want to lead it.  So what, I'm most comfortable being a New Age spiritualist?  So what I actually own my own Tarot Deck (not that I use it often, but I hope to remedy that once I have my own place that isn't in a college dormitory)?  So what I perceive my "god" to be a little different than yours?  This doesn't make me a bad person.  This doesn't mean I'm messing with the dark forces of the universe and am opening doors that I don't know how to close.  This means I'm living life as best I can, and doing what I can to make my home on Earth as good a place as possible, while accepting a little help and guidance from my friends in the big diamond in the sky every so often.  

As soon as I am home with access to my candles again, I shall light one and reflect on every other person in the world who is at the same life transition place as myself.  We have lots of big choices to make, and not a lot of time to make these choices.  This is the biggest life transition of them all-leaving the house for good, spreading our wings, and learning how to fly.  We could all use a little luck and guidance right now.

From my brain to yours,

Megan

My Big Decision

Today is the day.

Friday the 13th, 2012.

I have officially written to The University of New Hampshire in Durham, NH to see if they can defer my acceptance for a year.  Which means....

I have decided to find an awesome full time job with benefits for at least a year, and to get an apartment in Barre, VT with Rosie!!!

I'm so excited!  I can't wait to find my financial foothold as a real adult and to finally be able to feel financially independent from my family!  I'll be able to afford my own things, my mom won't be stuck with my bills as well as hers anymore, and it'll just be much better for everyone, all around.  =)

I have been applying for jobs like a crazy person.  Hopefully one of them (a few, preferably) will want me and be willing to take me on.  I'd love to find at least one, but it'd be nice to have a choice, as well.  "The starting median salary for a social worker [is] $33,400" (http://www.socialworkersspeak.org/media/nasw-responds-to-article-on-worst-paying-college-degrees.html).  That's a $676 paycheck every week (before taxes), which is $17.41/hr if you work a 40 hr week.  I mean, according to the article it's 'supposedly' one of the worst paying college degrees, but $17/hr is more than I've ever been paid in my lifetime.  Clearly, I will be very excited about this kind of paycheck.

I'm also SUPER EXCITED to start my first ever apartment hunt!  Luckily Rosie is also looking for a new place to live right now, so we're trying to find a nice 2 bedroom and split all the costs for rent/utilities/etc.

Probably what we'll have to use for furniture at least to get started...

I can't wait to start my real adult life and to live in an apartment which for the first time, I'll finally be able to afford!  AHH! 

Please wish me luck in all my endeavors.  I have a lot to learn and get used to as I get ready to embark on my new life path, so I'll need all the well-wishing I can get!

My goal is to get moved into a nice cozy apartment (with heat included in the rent price) before the snow flies in Vermont.  If you have any advice please leave it below!

I'm Poor.

Ah, Ramen.  We've all fallen into your grasp at one point or another.

My apologies for lack of a more creative title for this post.  I'm very stressed lately because of how broke I seem to continue to be.  And there's no light at the end of the tunnel for at least another 2 years-once I can complete my Master's in Social Work degree and FINALLY MAYBE start my real life as a fully grown, financially independent adult.

I still have about $300 more worth of textbooks to purchase, an estimated $300 parking pass to purchase and that's not including my $70/month phone bill and $40/month credit card bill, or gas for the car, oil changes, etc.  You know, basic life stuff.  And the thing is, I really don't actually have that many bills.  Just phone and credit card-and my credit card payment is really cheap (because I have a Discover Student Credit Card which gives me a credit limit of only $500-thank God).  My problem is that I don't have enough money to feel comfortable making my monthly bills.  There literally aren't enough hours in the day for me to work enough hours to make enough money to feel really truly secure.  

I just want to live comfortably.  I'm not looking to become a millionaire and hoard my millions of dollars away from society forever.  I want to spend a little to have fun every month, get by on bills, and still have enough extra to put away in a savings account just in case of a huge life emergency.  I REALLY don't think I'm asking for a whole hell of a lot.  Unfortunately I need to take out $80,000 in loans to get my Master's degree which will help me get an adequate paying job in order to support myself for the rest of my life.  

What's even more stressful is that my family isn't able to help out at all with grad school.  They've already done so much to help me get through undergrad that they're pretty much tapped out.  I feel bad that I'm part of the reason they're so strapped right now, but I also really can't help it that society has deemed it necessary to not only have your high school diploma, but a college degree (Master's preferred in most cases) in order to get a job that will sustain you.  

I'm really starting to resent the Capitalist system.  The 'survival of the fittest' or 'each (wo)man for his/her self is ridiculous.  We're all human, we're all in this together.  Everyone needs to make a living, everyone needs to survive.  Collectivist societies have the right idea, I think.  I'm just so sick of America and how the poor and downtrodden continue to be trodden upon regardless of how hard they work, while rich floozies can sit on their laurels and become famous for being dramatic idiotic a$$holes.  In WHAT society does that make sense to anyone?

I'm seriously considering moving to Canada once I have my Master's.  I want to check out Toronto, and some of the other fun Canadian cities.  After a few years, I'd like to apply for citizenship and be free of America while I try to make a comfortable living for myself.  I refuse to be forced to eat Ramen for the rest of my life (as good as it tastes occasionally-when you're not having to LIVE off the stuff), and I refuse to be swallowed up by student loan debt for the rest of my career-track life.  I want to be a healthy, happy person.  I don't deserve the short stick.  Not this time.

Love you all.  Hope life is treating you the way you deserve to be treated!

Have any of you ever visited Toronto, moved to Canada, or know someone who has?  I'd love to hear your stories!

From my brain to yours,

-Megan

Grad School Decisions: MSW

Choosing a school is scary shit.  I'm not going to make any ifs, ands, or buts about it, NOR am I going to beat around the bush and say "it's a very important decision in a young person's life."

This semester, I've started looking at different MSW programs at various schools all around the nation.  I feel like I did when I was a senior in high school trying to figure out where to go for undergrad...lost, confused, and utterly helpless.  It was, after all, merely sheer luck that landed me here at Champlain.  I didn't even want to apply at first.  I don't know why, but I just wasn't feeling it.  But my grandmother made me, and turns out, Champlain gave me the best financial aid package.  Although I was still hell-bent on the University of Southern Maine as my #1 choice for college, I didn't want to put a $13,000/yr Parent PLUS loan on my mom.  One year from sending in my acceptance postcard, I'm busting butt on papers and learning the layout of Burlington (on foot.)

I'm really bad at figuring out what to do or where to go with my life.  Obviously I love/want to/am good at/need to help people, which landed me (eventually) in Social Work.  Now that I'm in Social Work, I don't know which population I want to work with.  Because of that, I don't know what school I want to go to! 

The three colleges I have asked for info from and have replied so far are: Boston College, the University of Maryland, and Hawaii Pacific University.  (Why Hawaii?)  Let me tell you:

I'm in this funny predicament at Champlain.  The Social Work program isn't accredited.  Of course, the class graduating behind me will be, but that's unimportant.  What is important, is that the Council of Social Work Education (CSWE) has declared that those who entered the SWK program in 2009 will be the ones graduating from an accredited program.  Here's where I come in.  While first starting at Champlain, I joined as a Criminal Justice major.  Unfortunately, it didn't really fit my personality, so I switched and fell in love with SWK.  I started college in 2008.  By the time I got back next semester to start semester #2/8, it was the year 2009.  See where I'm going?  Well, that's an awesome loophole (see, I'm adequate at CRJ!) but it won't help me when I'm graduating in 2012.  Apparently the difference between whether I'm "accredited" or not is what it says on my diploma/degree/certificate/whatever-they're-calling-it-these-days. 

So, I went to talk to some of my advisers.  Here's the thing.  I'm only going to be off by one SWK course or possibly two from the soon-to-be accredited class.  The reason accreditation is SO important to me is because it means a LOT in terms of time & money.  I plan to apply for Advanced Standing in whatever college or university I get accepted to.  Advanced standing for me will mean the difference between just taking 1 year to get my MSW, and taking 2-2.5 yrs to get my MSW.  Which would you prefer?  Yeah, I thought so.

The next piece: my FIRST CHOICE school to attend is UVM (right here in Burlington.)  The deal with that is I can start the graduate program a mere 2 weeks after I graduate from my undergrad program.  And if I get Advanced Standing, I'll be graduating with my Master's when Ryan is graduating with his undergrad Theater degree.  Awww, how cute!  Also, this choice would save me double on time and money as it'll be in-state, and IF I get A.S., it'll only be another year of school.

Here's the deal with me considering out-of-state schools.  UVM has the only campus-based MSW program in the state of VT.  I am NOT taking online courses to get my MSW.  That's crap.  Absolute crap.  Especially in my career field.

So - if I'm only accepted to UVM as a regular 2-yr MSW student, but I get accepted out-of-state with A.S., I'm going to consider prices and go with whatever is cheaper.  And if I'm having to go out-of-state, why not go someplace nice where I can enjoy myself for a year?  I'm a born-n'-raised VTer.  I've done my time with the winters and such.  Almost 21 years worth, to be exact.  If I have the chance to go to college in Hawaii, and it's cheaper than going to college here in chilly VT, whytheheckwouldyouNOT take that opportunity?

So, what am I doing over my 1.5 week break?  I'm going to sit down with my family and continue researching schools.  I'm going to share all of these thoughts with them (or maybe have them print off this post,) and start making this choice a lot less scary than it is for me right now.  I need some help.

I'll keep you informed as I gather more info on which way I'm leaning.

:)

XXOO

<3 Megan <3

My Pores Still Work

Hi, all!

Yesterday I got my exercise in!  Too bad it was 97 degrees outside, but you take what you can get I suppose.

I went on my 6 hr field trip with my Intro to Bio class I've been taking at CCV this summer.  Around 9:30-10am, we arrived at our first stop.  After a 15-20 min climb up a hill of about a 70 degree incline, we made it to our first site.  (This was when I almost passed out about three times from my heart working too hard-just FYI.)  I WAS keeping myself hydrated.  That is SUPER important on a day where the heat is through the roof.  However, my instructor thought that we all hiked on a regular basis or something so she went like 80 mph up the hill (that's legit-haha.)  Anywho, after finally arriving and noticing my skin seep sweat everywhere, I cooled off by listening to our instructor talk for about 10 minutes.  Whew.  Yep, sweat is rolling down my body everywhere.  Fantastic.

(Skip all the boring searches we did in the stream, our findings, and our next 45-50 min talk.) Actually-we did find a Northern Dusky Salamander which was cute, but that was about it.

Our next site after climbing back down the mountain was on the Mad River in Waitesfield.  WATER.  I WISH I'd had my bathing suit, because that is the most awesome swimming hole I've seen in a LONG time.  Ryan-we're going.  No questions.  Get in the car.  NOW.  Hahaha.  So, when we got there we ate lunch, and then talked for another 20-30 mins, THEN we got to go walk through the river.  OOOOHHH it felt SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good.  Like, you have NO idea.  Unfortunately this site was out in the open sun.  And me being a redhead and all, I wasn't expecting that to go over too well.  Fortunately for me though, I was smart that morning and had brought sunblock to put on before we left.  As of now, I'm about three shades darker than I was pre-field trip.  Awesome!  I was thinking I would have had to reapply my sunblock more often than just the once in the morning because the sunblock was about a year old, and I had been sweating all morning.  Yup, my pores still work okay.

Regardless, this second site was MUCH more enjoyable.  No evil horseflies trying to get a chunk out of you, no 70 degree incline of a hill, and plenty of water to go around.  If I hadn't been worried about getting Beth's car all wet on our ride back, I would TOES have completely submerged myself.

It was all a good time.  My body still remembers how to sweat, and I made it out alive.

YAY!

<3 Megan <3