The "E-Word"

In hopes of getting my blog back up and going again, I've decided to post something oozing with my personality.  Sarcasm and wit aside, there is some really good information in here.  Please take the sarcastic remarks with a grain of salt, and focus on the information that you should be getting from this post.  <3

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Show of hands.  How many of you have heard of the E-Word?  Anybody?  Hellloooooo....echo, echo, echo.  Okay, well let me expand.  Take a look at this.

Ring any bells this time?  Good!!!  We're getting somewhere!

Remember these people?

(Jane Fonda)

(Richard Simmons)

Ahh yes, glorious times.  I mean, who DOESN'T have perfect legs like Miss Jane, and who ISN'T always as happy and perky about everything as Mr. Simmons?  Psh, totally not even an issue.

So, exercise.  First off I want to point out that the word 'exercise' is SO difficult to spell.  Like, it shouldn't be that difficult!  It took me up until a year or two ago to begin spelling it the way it is supposed to be spelt. 

We should be getting a work out just flipping through the dictionary to find out how to spell exercise!

Whew!  Anywho, where was I?

Oh yes, right.  So, is anybody here tonight an avid exercise fan?  YOU SIR, IN THE BACK!!! GET UP HERE AND GIVE ME A HI-5!  YEAH!  That guy knows where it's at.  Nobody else?  Okay, well, let's see if we can change that.

Whenever I hear the word exercise, I sometimes still cringe.  Who wants to get all sweaty and gross, out of breath, red in the face, and bent out of shape while trying to get in shape?  I mean, there's GOT to be an easier way to do this, right?!  Wrong.  You put on the pounds baby, you get to take 'em off.

Now, I know it would be toes awesome if we could all get one of the butt jiggler machines:

...and maybe sip some iced tea while we're at it?  But...

unfortunatley exercise doesn't work like that.  Ahh, that hit the spot.  Yep.  Letting a machine jiggle your butt or stomach fat for a few hours while chowing down on more calories is totally going to do a lot for you.  (Sarcasm, folks.  In case you can't detect it.)  Nope, unfortunately, if you're going to lose the weight, you've got to put in the hard work.  (I know, sucks, right?) 

Well, to make you feel better, let me show you what you DON'T have to do:

Mmmm...I love flipping my legs above my ears in the morning.

Let me get at some of that toe jam before I grab my early-morning glass of OJ & PB on toast.

Oh!  I love me an early morning sprinting marathon or two!  Wakes me right up!

(Okay, so notice I mentioned 'morning' in all three....I promise you don't have to only ever exercise right when you roll out of bed.)  HOWEVER, maybe that could be the best time for you?  Is the rest of your day jam-packed, and are you completely wiped out when you get home at night?  Why not try starting out with an easy (slow) 20 crunches in the morning, and try your hand at one full girly push up.  (On hands and knees, feet in the air.)  [Note: if you can do more, go for it!]  Doing something to get your blood pumping is a fabulous start to the day.  It gives you that fresh pink glow (which looks awesome on everybody, but especially awesome on girls,) and aids in your natural beauty throughout the rest of the day.

Are you more of an afternoon exercise person?  Find somewhere to go on your lunch break.  So, it might look awkward doing crunches in your cubicle or in the middle of the sales floor where you work as a cashier, but here's some other fun stuff that you can work on without anybody else being the wiser about what's going on.

Work on your posture.  This has lots of awesome benefits.  First off, notice how when this guy slouches over, he looks like he has more of a tummy?  That's what happens to you too.  When you stand up comfortably straight, your body returns to its natural alignment.  But beware, you don't want to look like you're strutting around like a peacock on Adderol (sp?).  Improved posture helps with circulation, with breathing (which is kind of important, I mean, if you're into that kind of thing,) and makes you look you're actual size.  (Always better than the negative alternative.)  Also, you actually ARE working some muscles.  Soon your abdominal muscles will probably start to feel a little sore.  That's a good thing!  It means you're using the proper muscles in your body to hold yourself upright.  Keep doing that!

Another thing for you afternoon people.  Do you have any stairs?

This guy knows what's up.  Okay, so I'm assuming you don't have an amphitheatre or ballpark stadium in your work vicinity.  However, even a small set of 10-20 stairs could really work to your benefit.  If you've got 5-10 minutes before you have to go back to work, why not climb some stairs?  It's a great way to get active.  Also, if you climb them really fast (or do that fun bouncy thing that a lot of athletic people can do when they climb stairs,) you'll boost your heart rate, which will get you breathing faster and get your blood pumping again.  Blood moving through your body is a good thing!  It brings all that wonderful oxygen you're breathing to all the nooks and crannies of your body and refuels them to help work for you and make your body a happier and healthy place to live in.

My third suggestion?  I've recently (well, okay, my mommy bought them for me,) invested in Sketcher's Shape-Ups.  Yes, yes, I know.  They run about $100/pair.  BUT, if you don't have stairs in your area or are in an industry that requires you to stand for a majority of your work day, these shoes could be your best friends.

It all comes down to how bad you really want to do this weight-loss thing, I suppose.  I mean, I definitely understand that not everybody has an extra $100 cash lying around that they can just fork over for a brand new pair of shoes.  BUT, the moral of the story is that you need to start making some sacrifices somewhere.  The good news?  It's a sacrifice you will be making for yourself.  It means that you respect yourself enough that instead of driving next door to McDonald's for lunch, you're willing to walk to Cumberland Farms across the street and getting yourself a grinder instead.  Your body in turn will throw a huge party.  It won't have to digest as many fats and unhealthy particles, and it will maybe have some veggies *gasp!* with which to get something out of.  Seriously.  Rager in your tummy.

All you evening and late-night exercisers.  You are harder to categorize because once everyone is out of work, there's no telling where you all will go.  If you don't mind walking in circles, maybe check out your local high school's track.  Try speed walking, jogging (if your body can handle it,) and don't forget to stretch out before ever doing anything strenuous with your body.  

If you need something closer to home, why not utilize what you've got in your house?  Just because I poked a little fun at Richard Simmons doesn't mean you totally can't use his exercise tapes.  I mean, yeah he's a scary-looking dude, but if he is what motivates you to make your body strong and healthy again, who am I to knock that?  Exercise videos are awesome as long as you're paying attention to your body, and not pushing yourself too hard.  Always keep plenty of H2O on hand (I'll mention this again later down in this post.)

Chairs.  Anybody ever have a problem doing squats because your knees, legs, and feet aren't always able to hold your weight?  (I don't mean squatting down just to pick something up, I mean those long, strenuous squats you do specifically in an exercise class.)  Yeah, about that......haha.  Well, as a good back up, try squatting over a chair.  If your legs give out, you won't have fall to far to sit on your butt, and you'll have a place to rest for a few minutes if you need to catch your breath, etc.  Chairs are awesome!  (Also, you could do this over the sofa facing the tv.  That way you're still catching Grey's while getting some exercise in!)

All's I ask is that you please stay safe and be smart about what you're doing.  DON'T go for a three mile walk after dark, DON'T push yourself beyond your limits, and DON'T EVER continue to do an exercise if it's painful to you.  Pain=you're not doing something right OR you're doing something your body isn't ready for just yet.  If you're into lifting weights (not free weights, the other heavy-duty kind,) ALWAYS have a spotter.  Injuries are no fun.  Trust me.

Some quick DO's?

This kid's got the right idea.  Drink water...and lots of it, especially if you've been perspiring (that's a big word for sweating.)  :) 

ALWAYS remember to break in new sneakers before taking them out with you to a full-fledged exercise session.  We don't need to add more pain to the already (hopefully) sore and tired muscles we're about to create.  Wear new shoes around the house for a few days before taking them out to guide you through your exercises.

DO bring some buds (whenever possible!)  Having someone there walking beside you helps the time go by faster.  It's important to always be listening to your body, but having someone there with you to help you finish that last lap around the track for the night, or to chat with you while you're walking your three miles on the treadmill makes it seem not that difficult.  Plus, it'll be awesome to know that you have the support of someone close whenever you feel that your motivation is slipping, or when you need someone to help get you back on track.

At the end of the day, you need to do what's best for you.  If that means waking up at 5am to do yoga and Pilate's 4 times a week, awesome.  If that means walking an additional 20 miles a week, wonderful!  Whatever changes you make are ones that need to fit into your life.  Otherwise, you're going to find yourself stuck very quickly, and possibly extremely frustrated.  Work with someone who knows you best to decide what changes are possible for you and your body, and what things can't be budged. 

The E-Word really isn't so bad after all.  Just take it one step at a time.

Write me if you need moral support!  (I know I do.)

<3 Megan <3

P.S. None of the pictures featured here are mine.  All were found on Google Images.  (Just needed something to demonstrate what I was talking about.)  =)