Big Girl in the Gym! Whoa!

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a few days!!  Things have been crazy around here; watching the LOST finale with Ryan (and texting Ashley all throughout,) working my Friday through Sunday schedule at:

and meeting some new people online.

(Just for legality purposes and what not because I'm not looking to get sued by anybody for anything after putting this picture in here, anything I say in this post or in my blog is not the views of Kinney Drugs or any of it's affiliates.  This is all my own opinion, and my own thinking.  I'm just working at Kinney's part time to help me pay my way through college.  [Textbooks are EXPENSIVE!!!!]  I enjoy my job, and I love the people I work with.  I'm not working against Kinney's in any way.)

I've recently (as of last night,) started talking with someone online.  For now, let's call him Mr. Scarborough.  He's funny, sweet, and is always making me smile (although he doesn't actually know that last part for sure because we haven't actually met face-to-face yet.)  This was a big enough deal that I had Ryan come up to my house on his break from McD's so we could chat about it!  Hahaha.  I love having on-call best friends!  Overall, I think I like Mr. Scarborough.  I want to meet him in person, but I've got to figure out how to save for the gas $$$, and where to actually meet up.  As a girl, I'm a bit more cautious about where I meet someone as I don't want to end up raped and murdered like the hundreds/thousands of other girls we've seen on tv.  I'm trying to remind myself to take it slow because falling too hard too fast has never ended well for anybody in the past, and this time will be no exception.  I'm letting life take me where it will, and I'll make what seems to be the smartest decisions I can under the given circumstances along the way.

Now, onto my real reason for today's post.  I have 30-or-so ideas for blog posts I have created in the past 3 days.  This is the first of them.  I'm trying to stay with the new focus of my blog, and to offer some new perspective to you out there who are "skinny" (I use quote marks because "skinny," "big," "plus-size," and any other variants are all relative and subjective.)  Many "thin" people don't realize what exactly goes through the mind of someone "big" when in seemingly normal, everyday situations, like, going to the gym for instance.  Well, in all my glory at 260 lbs, i shall enlighten you.

This post is dedicated to all the "big" people in the gym.  (Specifically, women.  I don't know exactly what it's like for a "large" man to be in the gym, but I can imagine that some face the same insecurities that women do.)

So, what's it like for me in the gym?  Intimidating.  Daunting.  I usually get defensive and protective of myself.  Why?  Well, nobody is physically attacking me.  As far as I know I'm not being taunted.  It's actually just the way people look at you.  You feel like the the other "smaller" people are judging you for showing up in a place like this.  And sometimes, they are.  Especially women.  Whoever said words can't hurt was lying.

But you know what?  If you're "big" and you can relate to this post because you've been to the gym, CONGRATULATIONS!  You went to the gym to try to keep your body healthy.  That is AWESOME, no matter the judgements passed onto you.  If you respect yourself enough to get right back up on that proverbial horse when you fall off, then you've got my full-fledged support!

Personally, I've taken on a new attitude about the gym in the past few years.  All those "thin" people at the gym?  Yeah, they can shove it.  You have more courage and stamina than they do if you are "big", and can bring yourself to the gym, regardless of how many pounds you can lift, or how many miles you can (or can't) run.  You're "big" and you're trying to get and stay healthy by bringing down your weight.  That almost gives you more of a right to be in there busting butt than the stereotypical pretty blonde who can run on the treadmill for a full hour.

I mean, it's important that all the "smaller" people stay healthy too, but just remember that you have just as much right to go to the gym as the pretty blonde.

Everyone is amazing in their own way, and everyone deserves to be healthy and happy.  As a "big" person, it takes a lot more effort to be comfortable with yourself to let others watch you as you jiggle away on a stationary bike.  (Note: I understand that other people have other flaws as well, but those are other stories for other times.)

My blog is here to hopefully inspire you who are faltering in the weight loss department, and to help you form a bond with someone who is going/has gone through the same thing as you.  It's rough, and it's sure as hell not easy, but I think it can be done.  "Losing weight" is always easier said than done, but when working together, maybe not.  Maybe not..

<3 Until next time, much love! <3

-Megan