Waiting For You

Waiting For You

I breathe, I steady myself.

Can’t breathe, can’t for the life of me figure out WHY

Why you haven’t noticed…

Why you haven’t noticed me.

Sitting inches from you, ITCHING

Itching to feel you caress my face

With your big--

Your big, gentle hands that could never hurt anyone,

Except me.

You breathe in. I breathe in.

We exhale together.

So close but still so far…

So far you haven’t noticed.

Haven’t noticed that I…

I am yours.

Forever.

You breathe in.  I breathe in.

Our moment hangs in the balance for you--

For you to notice me.

Until then

I breathe, I steady myself.

It's About that Time Again

Welcome back to Mental Regurgitation!


This post will bring out my nerd-ness and expose just how much of a geek I am, but that's okay.  I'm willing to bear it all.  ;)  

I'M SO EXCITED FOR SCHOOL TO START!!!!

Yesterday I packed up my backpack for the first day of school (Aug. 29th) and made sure I had everything I needed for my first classes.  I'm a little worried but also excited for this semester and how it's going to go.  Tuesdays are my easy days where I just have 1 class from 11-12:15, so that'll be awesome for grocery shopping and all of that fun magical stuff that needs to happen on a weekly basis (also known as errands).  Sleeping in won't be so bad, either.  Wednesdays and Saturdays are 8hr packed days of my internship-so hopefully all will be well!  I have a very light class schedule, so I'm hoping this semester will be AWESOME and that I can ace every class!

I love the routine of getting ready for a new school year.  I love new stationary and notebooks, new pens and pencils, and new FRESH semester schedules.  I love the smell of new textbooks and settling into new classrooms with new peers.  

Pair all of that with how much FUN fall fashion can be, and we have a pretty great start to a school year inundated with homework, tests, nervousness, stress, and anxiety.  Whoo hooo!

Because I am a bigger girl (as most of you know by now,) I'll share one of my favorite places to shop for clothing that fits women like me.  For new awesome fall fashions in sizes  14-28, click here.

And on a slightly different note, my mother's birthday fell yesterday.  So she came up to Burlington and we decided to go to Ri Ra's for dinner.  Here I proceeded to get drunk off of a Long Island Iced Tea and a Watermelon Schnapps.  Oh yeah.  :]

All in all-this has been a great summer, and I'm totally ready for an excellent school year.  Ashley will be moving into the bedroom next to mine very soon (Saturday) and the gang (me, Ryan, Ashley, and Joe) will reconvene once everyone is settled!  (We'd love to have Velvet back as well, but she's doing her thing in NY and getting by as best she can.  We miss her!)

Welcome to the Life of a Broke College Student!

My family and I are working with Financial Aid and Student Accounts at my college right now, attempting to figure out what we owe them or what they owe is.  As I'm sure you can imagine, it is a frustrating process.

So, my entire senior year hangs in balance as I wait to discover whether I will have enough money to handle buying all of my own groceries, or if I have to take a meal plan at the college so that my scholarships, loans and grant money will cover it.  And as I'm sure you can imagine, I'm stressed.

I was lucky enough to pay off almost all of my credit card debt today, however I now have to purchase this semester's textbooks and pay for groceries for the next 2 weeks.  Lovely.

I really hope things will work out in my favor for this school year.  I've got my game face on and I'm ready to work hard and play harder.

xoxo

Mismatched Cups

You know what's frustrating?

When you have a million mismatched cups and mugs in your kitchen cabinet and things don't fit quite right because of it.  But on the other hand, some of those cups have sentimental value, and you couldn't imagine yourself parting with them.

Welcome to college.

As I stood in my kitchen the other day putting dishes away, I had a flash-forward of my life.

My darling Ryan and I were happily en route in our life together: married, no kids yet, and I was still putting dishes away.  But we had an actual dish set.  Dishes that went together, that matched.  No more thrown-together plastic and glass dishware that consisted of my current dishware.  (And no more cheapie silverware from Walmart [5 for $1, anyone?]).

I'm really excited and ready to push beyond my mismatched THINGS in college life.  I'm ready to have my own place where I can own a complete dish set if I want, where I can host Christmas cocktail parties and serve alcohol because I'm over 21, and where I can really get a snapshot of what the rest of my life is going to look like.  (And make some changes if necessary).

As for the mismatched cup era?  Well, it was fun.  Developing relationships with half plastic/half glass dish sets has been a good time through the hilarity of college.  But, I'm ready for something better.

  

Intern Intern Intern!

InternQueen.com

The past week or so has been all about the art of Internships.  After my first internship prospect for my senior year-long internship at the Lund Family Center fell through, I was a little at a loss for what to do next.  Fortunately, Tarn (one of the Social Work faculty at Champlain) contacted me telling me she had a contact at the Arbors at Shelburne and that she thought this woman would be an awesome supervisor for me.

Soooo...I immediately e-mailed Tara (my potential future supervisor at the Arbors,) and asked to set up an interview and a tour.  A little background info on the Arbors: it is essentially a retirement home that includes a respite program, as well as an Alzheimer's and dementia population.  Last Friday 6/10, I went out for my interview.  I was considerably nervous because all interviews can be a little scary.  But Tara was very welcoming and accommodating, and we had a great conversation about what I could do to help out at the Arbors (AKA my internship duties).  After the successful interview portion, I was taken on a tour through the facility and got to meet some of the other staff and residents.  Tara told me she would love to have me on as an intern, and BAM!  Internship!

At first I was a little skeptical about working with the elderly because I had had a bad experience volunteering in a nursing home when I was doing volunteer work when I was 14 years old.  But, I attempted (and am still attempting) to keep an open mind about this.  After the tour I became very excited because it feels like Tara is going to be an awesome supervisor for me, and the community just feels much more inclusive than my first experience working with the elderly.  This is going to be such a great opportunity for me.  I'm hoping that I find I have a passion for working with the elderly, and that this will prove to be an experience that points me in a career direction I'm meant to work in.  (I am currently picturing Pocahontas with John Smith's compass and the arrow in her heart pointing her in the direction she needs to go.)

Not only am I excited about possibly finding a population I'm passionate about working with, but I'm excited about the job security that will come with this particular population.  As we all know, the baby boomers are all finally reaching retirement age.  Over the next 20 years (at least) there is going to be a great need for people in social services to work with and for the elder population.  This means there will be a promising start to my career and a great kickoff to the first 20 years of my professional career.  Whoo hoo!

My second bit of news relating to internships is that I have been accepted to be an Intern Queen Campus Ambassador for Champlain College!  If you have never been to the Intern Queen, Inc. website, click the giant link at the top of this posting.  Lauren Berger started this site to help students get internships.  Her website has a special system to help potential interns connect with potential employers.  The Campus Ambassadors represent their respective colleges and universities, and help connect the students at these educational institutions to InternQueen.com and ultimately to a future internship!

I am what looks like the first Campus Ambassador for any college/university in the state of Vermont, and consequently, there are very few internships posted for VT.  I'm hoping to change that.  Also, the population of social services/humanities students and potential employers seems to also be pretty bleak.  Again, I hope to work on changing this and to get Vermont more interested and invested in InternQueen.com and Lauren Berger's mission.  I think the concept is absolutely great, and I'm honored to represent this company!

All in all, my professional life is looking up again.  I have successfully secured an internship for my senior year, and it's will a supervisor who I think will meet all of my needs easily.  (I like someone who is approachable and generally accessible in case I have questions or in case an emergency arises.)  I hope I will prove to be an awesome addition to the Arbor's team, and that I find I really do have a true passion in working with the elder population.

Everything in good time.

SO-if you're looking for an internship of sorts, please feel free to contact me!  I currently have the inside scoop.  :)

XOXO
~Megan

Been A While/New Phone!

Sorry about the seemingly unrelated topics in the same post.  It has been a very long time since I made my last post, so I'm trying to make like a good blogger and actually blog.  :P

http://www.verizonwireless.com/b2c/store/controller?item=phoneFirst&action=viewPhoneDetail&selectedPhoneId=5355&deviceCategoryId=2  This is the link to the new phone I am about to get.  It has landed in Williston, VT, and I am currently waiting for it to get dropped off at the Champlain College mail room so I can pick it up and be on my merry way.  I'm SO EXCITED to have a new phone again.  Verizon is wonderful about allowing me to upgrade/update my 2 yr contract just about every year, and they allow me to upgrade my phone for free.  Which is awesome.  Ordering this phone online was also completely free (shipping and handling included!) so I'm pretty excited about this.

For those of you who are wondering how Ryan and I have been doing...we're fantastic.  :)  Love is in the air, summer is just around the corner (you know, around the VT tornado and flooding,) and life is pretty good.

I'm trying to head home today amidst all the flooding/closed roads/erosion/sinkholes, so I'm taking a half day at work.  Also, I'm trying to beat the next bout of storm which should be rolling in this afternoon between 3-5.  So, wish me luck!

When I'm home safe I'll try to think of a well-thought-out, themed post.  Right now I'm still a little frantic about money woes and how I'm going to get home.  (At least if I'm not able to go home, I'll have gone for a nice ride and I'll be able to stay with Ryan for a few more days!) 

Things will work out somehow.

Until next time!

xoxo
Megan

Happier Than I Ever Thought I'd Ever Be

The day before last, I took the biggest risk of my entire life.  I laid everything down on the line, threw all my cards on the table, and put myself way, way out there.  Literally my entire life, my entire future was at stake, and I sat down to play poker with fate.  (Actually I can't play poker, so looking back on it, that might not have been my smartest move ever.)

HOWEVER, everything worked out sooo beautifully in the end.  For those of you who have been living under a rock  for the past 2 days, Ryan and I are now officially an item.  Oh, yes.  Burlington's new power couple.  After years of dealing with this in silence, I decided I'd had enough.  Now or never.  Time to reveal all.  And the result was something so much more magical than I could have ever expected.

Tuesday I was a wreck.  I gave Ryan the 6 page letter which housed my heart, future, and potentially emotional and mental stability for the next three years at least in the morning before school, and proceeded to act like a crazy person the rest of the day.  I'm pretty sure my body thought that I drank 4 cups of straight espresso every 3 hours or something.  Heart palpitations were in abundance.  I walked down Church St and fit right in with everyone else due to my talking to myself and the random hand gestures that were sure to have accompanied the conversations I had with myself.  Oh yeah, SO sane.

In order to give my body a rest I texted Ryan (as if nothing unusual had happened that day) and told him I'd probably be taking a nap right when I got home from work.  The nap worked out well, although I had some crazy dreams (not all that unusual for me) which I proceeded to text and inform Ryan of.  I got up a half hour before my staff meeting, and decided that I GUESSED I was brave enough to get online and check Facebook and stuff before staff meeting.  Waiting for me in my inbox was an e-mail from Ryan, subject "<3".

Okay, so now take my Church St persona and multiply that by 3.  It was safe to say I was FREAKIN' OUT!  I proceeded to read the sweetest, most vivid and emotional e-mail of my life.  I cried.  It's now saved forever in the catacombs of my e-mail folders.  Needless to say, Ryan said yes, and I found myself saved from total and utter destruction. 

I can't even put into words how happy I am.  It feels so refreshing to get everything off my chest that I've been holding for 2-3 years now, and to be able to finally recognize my feelings and drag them from the dark into the light.  Ryan always has been and always will be my everything.  I don't know how I lived before him, and I can't imagine my future without him.  I love that I can reach out and touch him now whenever the urge strikes me, and I don't have to just pretend I'm just "WTFing" him or something else of the sort. 

I have a boyfriend again!  But Ryan not just my boyfried, he's my best friend.  I am in the most perfect relationship I think I could have ever asked for, and my life finally feels complete.  Thank you to those who helped me through this rough weekend, and who kept me from shattering into a million pieces.  This is the understatement of the year, but WHOA, what a week!



(This is obviously us.  Can't you tell?  LMFAO!)