HOWEVER, everything worked out sooo beautifully in the end. For those of you who have been living under a rock for the past 2 days, Ryan and I are now officially an item. Oh, yes. Burlington's new power couple. After years of dealing with this in silence, I decided I'd had enough. Now or never. Time to reveal all. And the result was something so much more magical than I could have ever expected.
Tuesday I was a wreck. I gave Ryan the 6 page letter which housed my heart, future, and potentially emotional and mental stability for the next three years at least in the morning before school, and proceeded to act like a crazy person the rest of the day. I'm pretty sure my body thought that I drank 4 cups of straight espresso every 3 hours or something. Heart palpitations were in abundance. I walked down Church St and fit right in with everyone else due to my talking to myself and the random hand gestures that were sure to have accompanied the conversations I had with myself. Oh yeah, SO sane.
In order to give my body a rest I texted Ryan (as if nothing unusual had happened that day) and told him I'd probably be taking a nap right when I got home from work. The nap worked out well, although I had some crazy dreams (not all that unusual for me) which I proceeded to text and inform Ryan of. I got up a half hour before my staff meeting, and decided that I GUESSED I was brave enough to get online and check Facebook and stuff before staff meeting. Waiting for me in my inbox was an e-mail from Ryan, subject "<3".
Okay, so now take my Church St persona and multiply that by 3. It was safe to say I was FREAKIN' OUT! I proceeded to read the sweetest, most vivid and emotional e-mail of my life. I cried. It's now saved forever in the catacombs of my e-mail folders. Needless to say, Ryan said yes, and I found myself saved from total and utter destruction.
I can't even put into words how happy I am. It feels so refreshing to get everything off my chest that I've been holding for 2-3 years now, and to be able to finally recognize my feelings and drag them from the dark into the light. Ryan always has been and always will be my everything. I don't know how I lived before him, and I can't imagine my future without him. I love that I can reach out and touch him now whenever the urge strikes me, and I don't have to just pretend I'm just "WTFing" him or something else of the sort.
I have a boyfriend again! But Ryan not just my boyfried, he's my best friend. I am in the most perfect relationship I think I could have ever asked for, and my life finally feels complete. Thank you to those who helped me through this rough weekend, and who kept me from shattering into a million pieces. This is the understatement of the year, but WHOA, what a week!
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| (This is obviously us. Can't you tell? LMFAO!) |
