Ashley

Hello, everyone!

This post is just to inform you that tomorrow I am embarking on a journey to a place I've never been before.  Cape Cod.  Whoa.

While I'm down there I'm going to visit the fabulous woman named Ashley (and her family!)  Really pumped.

It may be a few days more before I actually have a new post of any substance.  Check back in a few days!

<3 Megan <3

P.S. Wish me a safe trip!

Fleeting Motivation and More on Mr. Scarborough

Hmph.  Today I'm here to rant about fleeting motivation when I really should be doing something more important such as homework.  (Psh, who does homework?  Really?  C'mon.)  Haha!  (Those of you who know me know I'm just kidding.) 

So, in what areas of my life is motivation fleeting?

Well, for one, since the whole "exercise" thing hasn't been going that great (thanks a lot, Lyndonville,) there's one area.  Until tonight, my housecleaning skills had temporarily abandoned me.  Of course, I've had a bit more on my mind than keeping my room tidy lately (hint: Mr. Scarborough-more on him later,) but tonight I was able to whip myself into a cleaning frenzy.  *Throws a party for myself to celebrate my slight reconquest of motivation.*  Laundry done and put away, little by little things coming up off the floor, and my homework somewhat coming along, all in all I'd consider it a good night.

So, what am I trying to say?  I guess just that I can relate.  Keeping focused is hard especially when you have a lot going on.  It's not to say I've given up on everything altogether, just that everyone has a time when things aren't going exactly as he or she wishes they would.  To be completely honest, it might be a good thing if I could get back on Weight Watchers for the summer.  I feel bad though because my grandmother footed the bill last time, and by the time Velvet, Ashley and I got to Champlain Loses It, I didn't need it anymore because we could all do it on our own.  But now that I'm back by myself, it's all falling apart again.  I really want to try to peel some of this weight back off again, but my surroundings and environment make that really hard.  (Especially when I want to eat right for my body, but all's we've had in the house constantly is bread.  So, toast for breakfast, some sort of sandwich for lunch, and more toast or bread for supper.)  Not exactly a well-balanced diet.  I admit some of the shortcomings are me just failing at cooking skills because I haven't learned how certain dishes go together yet, but it's hard.  Also, there is a distinct lack of motivation to eat apples and fruit.  I love apples and peanut butter!  Why hasn't it looked appetizing to me in like, a month?!  WHY AM I NOT BEING MYSELF?!

Writing this is making me really depressed, but it's good to get this all out I suppose.  Repressing this kind of stuff is never good for anybody.  Creating a healthy lifestyle for yourself (including a well-balanced diet and exercise schedule) isn't just hard, it's nearly impossible.  And now with my work schedule down to about 10 hrs/week, I don't even have the money to do anything extra for myself (much less contribute to seeing Mr. Scarborough more often...which makes me impossibly sad.) :(  Somehow, someway, I'm going to do this.  There will be a day where things get easier all around.  There will be a day when I am free of the majority of my debt (student loans,) and there will be day when I can settle down with an amazing husband, Lara & Phoebe & co., and Ryan living in the basement working as the on-call babysitter for my yet-to-be-conceived children.  There will be a day when I reach my goals.  And world, you best be looking out when that happens.  America will never be the same.  =D

For those of you out there who are in the same rut I am, hang in there ladies and gents.  We'll get out of here sometime.  But I suppose now is one of those times that makes the whole struggle worth the while.  Now will be one of those times you can look back on and be like "Whew, I remember that.  Rough stuff, but it showed me what I was really made of."  (Leave a comment at the end of all this if you're in a rut as well.  Maybe we can pull each other out!)

Now, for more on Mr. Scarborough.  We have officially had our first date and in my mind we are now at "officially dating" status.  Those of you who have read the story on FaceBook can skip this next part, but here's my take on how the day went:

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For all of you who wanted to know how my first date with Mitchell went, here's the rundown/play-by-play. :)

My mom, gram, and I set off at 1 today (on time!) for North Conway, NH. Now, this is kind of an awesome feat considering how long it took me to get ready for this date (1.5 hrs.) Not that I was actually doing a lot for that whole span of time. I mean, I only take a half hour with taking a shower and getting dressed. But the rest of it was mostly psyching myself up in the mirror. My only makeup: eyeliner and mascara. Not a lot. And I don't usually wear make up, so that was a nice change for me. Anywho, I sort of digress. My hair didn't want to cooperate with what I wanted it to do (I was trying to make it flip out a little bit all the way around, but it came out looking bad so I just flat ironed it back out.) Note: this is one of those times I'm glad I have straight hair. It isn't hard to put it back where it belongs if you try something and it doesn't work out. That took about 20 minutes. Finally I gave up and just threw a flower in my hair. Whatever. Haha.
So, on the way to N. Conway, there was some beautiful scenery. But....you all don't really want to hear about that do you? :P Okay, skip to the first time we see each other.
We arrived first to Applebees, so I was planning to kind of mentally prepare myself for how the date was going to go. I wasn't really sure what was going to happen today, so I was just going to go with the flow basically. Well in the meantime, Mitch had pulled into the parking lot, and by the time I realized he was here he was already walking towards the car. Crap. Guess I'm not preparing anything. Haha! So I stumble out of the car and kind of wait to see what happens. We hug. Awww! We chit chat back and forth about nothing in particular until we enter the restaurant.

My mom picks up the tab for our table, so we get led off to our own table first, then my mom and gram get seated afterwards. Note: we realized it worked out perfectly after all because they could still see us and what was happening, but were out of earshot. Whew. :)
Now, my memory isn't always that great (my mother even testified for me today on her own about that,) but here's some of the cute things I remember from lunch/dinner....does that make it dinch or linner? (I think I like linner.)
1) The Straw Story: Our waiter was awesome, but realized he only had one straw in his apron when he brought our drinks out. As he goes to get another, Mitchell takes the straw, unwraps it, and sticks it in my raspberry iced tea. Awwwww!!!! Yeah, I was kind of excited about that.

2) Hand holding! At the table! WHOA! Like, did you know that can happen? Haha! This was really awesome because I apparently had poor circulation today. (Maybe it came from being nervous, in which case all the blood in your body goes to your core in attempt to keep you alive?) Gotta love biological functions.
3) Intense eye contact. I felt like my soul was being searched and it made me wiggle a little bit. That was a little outside of my comfort zone because that hasn't really happened to me before. But overall, I think I liked it. I hope Mitchell liked whatever it was he saw, even if I did squirm at being put on the spotlight. :)
4) :) <-Exactly. He made me smile and laugh, a lot. Very much a plus.
*5) Five is starred because this isn't necessarily from linner, but just in what I've noticed since talking with him. This guy is brilliant. He very much has his own opinions on just about anything and everything. Seriously, he's like a walking encyclopedia. I just want to pick his brain and learn from him ALL the time. So far I've been able to keep up on what he's asked me my opinions on (ex: Scientiology, what our country has come to, etc,) but I'm even just ok with hearing him rationalize about what his opinions are, and why they are what they are. He's so full of fun facts with just about anything you bring up with him, and I genuinely enjoy just having conversations about nothing in particular with him. Mitchell- you're still perfect. <3
Mkay, back to the date. Lunch was fabulous. Mitchell enjoyed some delicious Chicken Alfredo, and I had a blast with my Grilled Chicken with Garlic (which came with broccoli.) Note: not the best choice in terms of breath freshness and pieces of food stuck in teeth afterwards, but I didn't really want to be licking my fingers after eating Chicken Tenders and then hand holding. I like hand holding. I'm not a fan of passing germs around. :P
At some point my mom came up and shared that we'd be going to Coldstone Creamery for dessert, so after finishing our meal, we went there!
As we were leaving the restaurant, my mom (probably subconsciously, but still nontheless) demonstrated her trust by asking how we were getting to Coldstone's. "So, how are we going to do this? Do you guys want to drive together, or do you all want to come with us, or what?" Yaay! We've demonstrated that Mitchell isn't some serial-killer dude that's going to kill me! Points!

Coldstones=awesome. Everyone got fabulous icecream. This place was important because Mitchell, my mom, my gram, and I all got to talk together as one big group. This gave my mom and gram and Mitchell time to interact with one another, and to do more of the trust-building thing. I think overall it went extremely well. In here Mitchell and I got to playfully gently shouldering one another, and while I was sitting next to him we kind of rubbed our knees together. Awww! ;) Hehe. Oh! And there's a possible trip to Boston to the acquarium with Mitchell and friends (sounds like a movie. hahahaha!) in the beginning of July. This sounds so awesome. We've just got to work out the details, $$$ to go, and transportation. RAWR. I mean, how many ways can one person get to Boston? Train, plane, bus, and automobile. Hahaha. One of those has to cut it. I hope it can work out! I just hope I don't have to drag everyone down because this might have to be a day trip for me. I mean, I'd love to make it an overnight and just go home with Mitch, but I actually have to meet his mom first (which I don't mind, thats okay with me,) and make sure we can work out the details once again.
After Coldstones, my mom and gram decide they want to look at some of the shopping centers. So we go to the Christmas Tree Shop. This first of all makes me miss Ashley. I'M COMING DARLING, HOLD ON UNTIL FRIDAY!!! So after watching Mitch return a cart to it's proper designated return tent (awww!) we walk in the front door. Noodles are for sale. You know, the kind you go swimming with. My urge? Buy like 10 of them and take them with me to 308 to have a HUGE wet noodle fight on our first night there. Seriously, how awesome would that be? THREE stories of college kids running around with a noodle to fight one another. You can't pack in too much more awesome into one event as that. I later found out that Mitchell would have been toes fine with grabbing two and having a mini fight right there in the store, but at the time my grandmother probably wouldn't have approved. :)
Walking around the store was where the physical contact started. Lots more hand holding, palm on my lower back (love that move. :] ) and just general closeness. I'm a big fan. Seriously. I've missed close physical contact like that for a loooong time, and it was SO nice to get some of it back today. Does anybody else notice Mitch's perfecto-meter going up still? ;)

As if this weren't all good enough, my mom and gram started bickering as usual about which way to go and how to get from Point A to Point B. He found this halarious. Which I'm glad of. Sometimes they can get a little scary with one another, but everything today was just really light hearted. I LOVE his laugh so much. It's a really carefree, kick back and REALLY enjoy yourself kind of laugh. I'm glad my family was amusing. :)
The results? All in all today was a fabulous day. I wouldn't have had it any other way, and I hope it wasn't too nervewracking on his side. My family tries not to be intimidating, but I know it doesn't always come across that way. Bottom line: I'm happy again. I haven't been this giddy and excited about a boy in about 4 years. Ryan's even noticing the difference. Seriously, talk to him. :P I'm very happy right now, and I feel like I'm in a good place. Leave some comments about what you read that you liked!
<3 Megan <3
 
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Mmm hmmm...yeah, it really was that good.  I can't wait to spend more time with him, and just bask in the presence of one another.  I'd be really comfortable just getting together to watch a movie as long as I got to be near him.  I forgot how much physical closeness meant to me, not that I really got a lot of it in the past.  It was either annoying because it was all "poke"-based, or not much of anything. 
 
Here's to new beginnings (as I raise my Diet Lipton Green Tea w/ Citrus.)  New beginnings involving re-ignition of the flame for the motivation you need to accomplish any said task, new beginnings in your love life, new beginnings in every and any aspect of your life.  Tell me your stories.  Until next time.
 
Much love and happiness!
 
<3 Megan <3

The "E-Word"

In hopes of getting my blog back up and going again, I've decided to post something oozing with my personality.  Sarcasm and wit aside, there is some really good information in here.  Please take the sarcastic remarks with a grain of salt, and focus on the information that you should be getting from this post.  <3

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Show of hands.  How many of you have heard of the E-Word?  Anybody?  Hellloooooo....echo, echo, echo.  Okay, well let me expand.  Take a look at this.

Ring any bells this time?  Good!!!  We're getting somewhere!

Remember these people?

(Jane Fonda)

(Richard Simmons)

Ahh yes, glorious times.  I mean, who DOESN'T have perfect legs like Miss Jane, and who ISN'T always as happy and perky about everything as Mr. Simmons?  Psh, totally not even an issue.

So, exercise.  First off I want to point out that the word 'exercise' is SO difficult to spell.  Like, it shouldn't be that difficult!  It took me up until a year or two ago to begin spelling it the way it is supposed to be spelt. 

We should be getting a work out just flipping through the dictionary to find out how to spell exercise!

Whew!  Anywho, where was I?

Oh yes, right.  So, is anybody here tonight an avid exercise fan?  YOU SIR, IN THE BACK!!! GET UP HERE AND GIVE ME A HI-5!  YEAH!  That guy knows where it's at.  Nobody else?  Okay, well, let's see if we can change that.

Whenever I hear the word exercise, I sometimes still cringe.  Who wants to get all sweaty and gross, out of breath, red in the face, and bent out of shape while trying to get in shape?  I mean, there's GOT to be an easier way to do this, right?!  Wrong.  You put on the pounds baby, you get to take 'em off.

Now, I know it would be toes awesome if we could all get one of the butt jiggler machines:

...and maybe sip some iced tea while we're at it?  But...

unfortunatley exercise doesn't work like that.  Ahh, that hit the spot.  Yep.  Letting a machine jiggle your butt or stomach fat for a few hours while chowing down on more calories is totally going to do a lot for you.  (Sarcasm, folks.  In case you can't detect it.)  Nope, unfortunately, if you're going to lose the weight, you've got to put in the hard work.  (I know, sucks, right?) 

Well, to make you feel better, let me show you what you DON'T have to do:

Mmmm...I love flipping my legs above my ears in the morning.

Let me get at some of that toe jam before I grab my early-morning glass of OJ & PB on toast.

Oh!  I love me an early morning sprinting marathon or two!  Wakes me right up!

(Okay, so notice I mentioned 'morning' in all three....I promise you don't have to only ever exercise right when you roll out of bed.)  HOWEVER, maybe that could be the best time for you?  Is the rest of your day jam-packed, and are you completely wiped out when you get home at night?  Why not try starting out with an easy (slow) 20 crunches in the morning, and try your hand at one full girly push up.  (On hands and knees, feet in the air.)  [Note: if you can do more, go for it!]  Doing something to get your blood pumping is a fabulous start to the day.  It gives you that fresh pink glow (which looks awesome on everybody, but especially awesome on girls,) and aids in your natural beauty throughout the rest of the day.

Are you more of an afternoon exercise person?  Find somewhere to go on your lunch break.  So, it might look awkward doing crunches in your cubicle or in the middle of the sales floor where you work as a cashier, but here's some other fun stuff that you can work on without anybody else being the wiser about what's going on.

Work on your posture.  This has lots of awesome benefits.  First off, notice how when this guy slouches over, he looks like he has more of a tummy?  That's what happens to you too.  When you stand up comfortably straight, your body returns to its natural alignment.  But beware, you don't want to look like you're strutting around like a peacock on Adderol (sp?).  Improved posture helps with circulation, with breathing (which is kind of important, I mean, if you're into that kind of thing,) and makes you look you're actual size.  (Always better than the negative alternative.)  Also, you actually ARE working some muscles.  Soon your abdominal muscles will probably start to feel a little sore.  That's a good thing!  It means you're using the proper muscles in your body to hold yourself upright.  Keep doing that!

Another thing for you afternoon people.  Do you have any stairs?

This guy knows what's up.  Okay, so I'm assuming you don't have an amphitheatre or ballpark stadium in your work vicinity.  However, even a small set of 10-20 stairs could really work to your benefit.  If you've got 5-10 minutes before you have to go back to work, why not climb some stairs?  It's a great way to get active.  Also, if you climb them really fast (or do that fun bouncy thing that a lot of athletic people can do when they climb stairs,) you'll boost your heart rate, which will get you breathing faster and get your blood pumping again.  Blood moving through your body is a good thing!  It brings all that wonderful oxygen you're breathing to all the nooks and crannies of your body and refuels them to help work for you and make your body a happier and healthy place to live in.

My third suggestion?  I've recently (well, okay, my mommy bought them for me,) invested in Sketcher's Shape-Ups.  Yes, yes, I know.  They run about $100/pair.  BUT, if you don't have stairs in your area or are in an industry that requires you to stand for a majority of your work day, these shoes could be your best friends.

It all comes down to how bad you really want to do this weight-loss thing, I suppose.  I mean, I definitely understand that not everybody has an extra $100 cash lying around that they can just fork over for a brand new pair of shoes.  BUT, the moral of the story is that you need to start making some sacrifices somewhere.  The good news?  It's a sacrifice you will be making for yourself.  It means that you respect yourself enough that instead of driving next door to McDonald's for lunch, you're willing to walk to Cumberland Farms across the street and getting yourself a grinder instead.  Your body in turn will throw a huge party.  It won't have to digest as many fats and unhealthy particles, and it will maybe have some veggies *gasp!* with which to get something out of.  Seriously.  Rager in your tummy.

All you evening and late-night exercisers.  You are harder to categorize because once everyone is out of work, there's no telling where you all will go.  If you don't mind walking in circles, maybe check out your local high school's track.  Try speed walking, jogging (if your body can handle it,) and don't forget to stretch out before ever doing anything strenuous with your body.  

If you need something closer to home, why not utilize what you've got in your house?  Just because I poked a little fun at Richard Simmons doesn't mean you totally can't use his exercise tapes.  I mean, yeah he's a scary-looking dude, but if he is what motivates you to make your body strong and healthy again, who am I to knock that?  Exercise videos are awesome as long as you're paying attention to your body, and not pushing yourself too hard.  Always keep plenty of H2O on hand (I'll mention this again later down in this post.)

Chairs.  Anybody ever have a problem doing squats because your knees, legs, and feet aren't always able to hold your weight?  (I don't mean squatting down just to pick something up, I mean those long, strenuous squats you do specifically in an exercise class.)  Yeah, about that......haha.  Well, as a good back up, try squatting over a chair.  If your legs give out, you won't have fall to far to sit on your butt, and you'll have a place to rest for a few minutes if you need to catch your breath, etc.  Chairs are awesome!  (Also, you could do this over the sofa facing the tv.  That way you're still catching Grey's while getting some exercise in!)

All's I ask is that you please stay safe and be smart about what you're doing.  DON'T go for a three mile walk after dark, DON'T push yourself beyond your limits, and DON'T EVER continue to do an exercise if it's painful to you.  Pain=you're not doing something right OR you're doing something your body isn't ready for just yet.  If you're into lifting weights (not free weights, the other heavy-duty kind,) ALWAYS have a spotter.  Injuries are no fun.  Trust me.

Some quick DO's?

This kid's got the right idea.  Drink water...and lots of it, especially if you've been perspiring (that's a big word for sweating.)  :) 

ALWAYS remember to break in new sneakers before taking them out with you to a full-fledged exercise session.  We don't need to add more pain to the already (hopefully) sore and tired muscles we're about to create.  Wear new shoes around the house for a few days before taking them out to guide you through your exercises.

DO bring some buds (whenever possible!)  Having someone there walking beside you helps the time go by faster.  It's important to always be listening to your body, but having someone there with you to help you finish that last lap around the track for the night, or to chat with you while you're walking your three miles on the treadmill makes it seem not that difficult.  Plus, it'll be awesome to know that you have the support of someone close whenever you feel that your motivation is slipping, or when you need someone to help get you back on track.

At the end of the day, you need to do what's best for you.  If that means waking up at 5am to do yoga and Pilate's 4 times a week, awesome.  If that means walking an additional 20 miles a week, wonderful!  Whatever changes you make are ones that need to fit into your life.  Otherwise, you're going to find yourself stuck very quickly, and possibly extremely frustrated.  Work with someone who knows you best to decide what changes are possible for you and your body, and what things can't be budged. 

The E-Word really isn't so bad after all.  Just take it one step at a time.

Write me if you need moral support!  (I know I do.)

<3 Megan <3

P.S. None of the pictures featured here are mine.  All were found on Google Images.  (Just needed something to demonstrate what I was talking about.)  =)

A Promise of Things To Come

Hi!

So I've been really super busy with everything in my life lately.  I PROMISE that I will get to a new blog post soon.  I have my ideas all picked out, the challenge is now just finding time to sit down and actually write a post.

Hahaha.

I haven't abandoned all of you though, I swear!

Much love until then!
-Megan

Mr. Scarborough: Part 1

Hello, my lovelies!  The past few days have made me feel more alive and excited than I have in the past 5 months.  Why so?  Well, it's Mr. Scarborough.  He's perfect.  Seriously.  In every way possible.  I really want to get to the point where we can have our first meeting in person, because I'm completely smitten.

Soooo.....here's some things we have in common.

1) Favorite colors
2) Shampoo shopping (if we ever go shopping for shampoo together, it's going to take forever.  hahaha!!)
3) What we're looking for
4) Movies we like
5) Books we like
6) Genres in general of movies/books/music that we like
7) WE CAN COMMUNICATE!!! (Wait, that can happen?  ......wait...what?)
8) He likes to cuddle
9) We both want kids someday.  (Lara and Phoebe, anyone?)  Hehe.
10) We both like Ryan (LMFAO!)
11) We're both in the process of losing weight together.  Awwww.....fun in the sun date, anyone?
12) He's a Pisces.
13) ...ok, so there's a TON more.  But basically, he's me in a guy body.  He's basically everything I want all wrapped up in one awesome package.  Now if we can just get to meet in person, I think we'll really be able to decide where we stand with each other.

I like that all my friends seem to love him just as much as me so far.  I know Velvet stalked him on FaceBook (she's good at that,) and Ryan had said he would turn gay for him. Haha! <3  As for Ashley, I haven't talked to her in a few days! :(  I think she's really happy for me though, and maybe she'll stalk him on FaceBook too. 

Bottom line?  I really think this could work.  I mean, it sucks that he's 3.5 hrs away from me here in Lyndonville, but, I'm sure we can make special arrangements.  It's going to be much worse when I go back to college, but maybe there will be some weekends where he can come spend some quality time with me in Burlington.  (Ohhhh, Snowball 2011, anyone?)  :)  (And/or vise versa...except I don't have a car to get me up there on my own.) 

Oh well.  RAWR.  At least we both have phones, unlimited texting, and MSN.  MSN has video chat....soooo....yeah.  I'm just really bad at AIM.  Hahahaha.  <3

Anywho, I'm ready to take the leap.  After this first meeting, I feel like we'll both have a pretty good idea of whether we'll make it or not.  And you know what?  I'm psychic.  So, I'm going to say yes.  Trust me, I'm good at this sort of thing.

I just hope he's as taken with me as I am with him.  Time will tell.

Tell me what you think so far. :)

<3 Megan <3

P.S. I know I'm supposed to be focusing on weight loss, but when really good (and sometimes really bad) things happen in my life, I'm going to blog about them here as well.  It shows you I'm still human, and I have things that come up while trying to work through the process.  I'm NOT a robot! <3

Big Girl in the Gym! Whoa!

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a few days!!  Things have been crazy around here; watching the LOST finale with Ryan (and texting Ashley all throughout,) working my Friday through Sunday schedule at:

and meeting some new people online.

(Just for legality purposes and what not because I'm not looking to get sued by anybody for anything after putting this picture in here, anything I say in this post or in my blog is not the views of Kinney Drugs or any of it's affiliates.  This is all my own opinion, and my own thinking.  I'm just working at Kinney's part time to help me pay my way through college.  [Textbooks are EXPENSIVE!!!!]  I enjoy my job, and I love the people I work with.  I'm not working against Kinney's in any way.)

I've recently (as of last night,) started talking with someone online.  For now, let's call him Mr. Scarborough.  He's funny, sweet, and is always making me smile (although he doesn't actually know that last part for sure because we haven't actually met face-to-face yet.)  This was a big enough deal that I had Ryan come up to my house on his break from McD's so we could chat about it!  Hahaha.  I love having on-call best friends!  Overall, I think I like Mr. Scarborough.  I want to meet him in person, but I've got to figure out how to save for the gas $$$, and where to actually meet up.  As a girl, I'm a bit more cautious about where I meet someone as I don't want to end up raped and murdered like the hundreds/thousands of other girls we've seen on tv.  I'm trying to remind myself to take it slow because falling too hard too fast has never ended well for anybody in the past, and this time will be no exception.  I'm letting life take me where it will, and I'll make what seems to be the smartest decisions I can under the given circumstances along the way.

Now, onto my real reason for today's post.  I have 30-or-so ideas for blog posts I have created in the past 3 days.  This is the first of them.  I'm trying to stay with the new focus of my blog, and to offer some new perspective to you out there who are "skinny" (I use quote marks because "skinny," "big," "plus-size," and any other variants are all relative and subjective.)  Many "thin" people don't realize what exactly goes through the mind of someone "big" when in seemingly normal, everyday situations, like, going to the gym for instance.  Well, in all my glory at 260 lbs, i shall enlighten you.

This post is dedicated to all the "big" people in the gym.  (Specifically, women.  I don't know exactly what it's like for a "large" man to be in the gym, but I can imagine that some face the same insecurities that women do.)

So, what's it like for me in the gym?  Intimidating.  Daunting.  I usually get defensive and protective of myself.  Why?  Well, nobody is physically attacking me.  As far as I know I'm not being taunted.  It's actually just the way people look at you.  You feel like the the other "smaller" people are judging you for showing up in a place like this.  And sometimes, they are.  Especially women.  Whoever said words can't hurt was lying.

But you know what?  If you're "big" and you can relate to this post because you've been to the gym, CONGRATULATIONS!  You went to the gym to try to keep your body healthy.  That is AWESOME, no matter the judgements passed onto you.  If you respect yourself enough to get right back up on that proverbial horse when you fall off, then you've got my full-fledged support!

Personally, I've taken on a new attitude about the gym in the past few years.  All those "thin" people at the gym?  Yeah, they can shove it.  You have more courage and stamina than they do if you are "big", and can bring yourself to the gym, regardless of how many pounds you can lift, or how many miles you can (or can't) run.  You're "big" and you're trying to get and stay healthy by bringing down your weight.  That almost gives you more of a right to be in there busting butt than the stereotypical pretty blonde who can run on the treadmill for a full hour.

I mean, it's important that all the "smaller" people stay healthy too, but just remember that you have just as much right to go to the gym as the pretty blonde.

Everyone is amazing in their own way, and everyone deserves to be healthy and happy.  As a "big" person, it takes a lot more effort to be comfortable with yourself to let others watch you as you jiggle away on a stationary bike.  (Note: I understand that other people have other flaws as well, but those are other stories for other times.)

My blog is here to hopefully inspire you who are faltering in the weight loss department, and to help you form a bond with someone who is going/has gone through the same thing as you.  It's rough, and it's sure as hell not easy, but I think it can be done.  "Losing weight" is always easier said than done, but when working together, maybe not.  Maybe not..

<3 Until next time, much love! <3

-Megan

LG Cosmos

I got a new cell phone!  The LG Cosmos.  I love the name, because now I can joke that I hold the entire Cosmos in my hands.  Hahaha!  That's toes legit.  Let me find you all a picture:

I know it doesn't look exactly SPECTACULAR in this photo, but it feels so perfect in my hands.  It was definitely made for me.  Phone shopping, I realized, is a lot like dating.  You just keep shopping around until you find the one that feels right in your hands.  :) <3

In other news, I've been working hard to create ideas for new blog posts.  I have a good solid 30 or so written down, now alls there is to do is to sit down and write them.  I am going to the Packer tonight to dance with Toria and (hopefully) Ryan, and tomorrow I work 1-6.  So, after I've recovered from all of that business, I'll be free to write you all a newbie. 

Bottom line, my new phone and my new blog are my babies.  This is going to be soooo much fun. :)

Much love.

<3 Megan <3