Bitch Fest 101: Vocalization

Normally, I am a very sarcastic, sometimes more easily angered-than-should-be-appropriate kind of person inside my head.  Take everything inside my head and bring it out, and you end up with a lot of frightened people cowering around me and an especially sulky me-who doesn't want to make eye contact with anyone. 

Now, that's all good and well.  Except for A) I'm sick (somehow, I'm still fuzzy on the details of that,) and B) It's PMS week. 

Item A: Over the weekend I started to feel the dull ache in the back of my throat/on the back of my tongue which usually indicates a sore throat coming on.  In a panic, I ran down to Rite Aid and dropped about $100 on medicine and vitamin supplements.  Vitamin C tablets, cough syrup, cough drops, etc.  Well, I've so far managed to avoid sore throat.  Right now everything moved into congestion and blockage of my right nasal passage with an extremely light tickle in the back of my throat.  This is especially annoying because it's not conducive to the kind of cough that actually can do something for your throat.  This is the kind of cough that is so light it barely registers on your body's sick-dar.  (Bastards.)  Flashforward to today: I feel like crap and everything in the world is going wrong (again.)  I'm actually skipping my classes and staying in my dorm for some well-deserved alone time before I launch headfirst into trying to figure out how to do these paper's that I have been unable to do.  (Note: not simply 'not wanting' to do, but literally 'unable' to do.)  Library databases and I aren't friends anymore.

Item B:  Additionally, it's PMS week.  Which means that I'm pretty hypersensitive to everything around me.  Did you ever hear that fun fact that when you get stressed, noises appear to annoy you just THAT much more?  Example: remember taking a test or quiz in school that you didn't get a chance to study for, and it's worth like 20% of your grade?  And then the a$$#@!$ next to you decides that it's a great day to tap the eraser of his or her pencil on the desk while mentally singing "Tiptoe Through the Tulips"-making you even more stressed and helpless?  Yeah, that's what my entire PMS week is like.   If all of the commentary on my life were able to be extracted from my brain and put to words, I think I probably wouldn't have many friends left.  It's not that I have anything against anyone personally, it's just those little moments where I sometimes want to yell at people with the fury of a hundred Tasmanian devils-because they should know they're annoying me and know that by my glaring at them, they need to stop what they're doing.  Haha, yeah, right.

So, the difference between me right now and the normal me?  Well, not too much is different in my own head (except for the PMS-related stuff-that's THANKFULLY only 1 week a month,) but everything else that is spewing out of my mouth is stuff that I don't really care to censor right now, due to being sick.  I feel like crap and apparently that's how I get others to sympathize with me.  (Kind of pathetic, right?)  But then again, who doesn't want people to go "Aww, I'm sorry you're going through this right now.  That SUCKS, man." whenever you make an extravagant attempt at showing your helplessness and excessive sickness to those around you?  Everyone needs a break sometime.  Unfortunately, I've been vocalizing my frustrations and distresses for the past 5 days or so (before I actually got sick.)  I honestly don't know what's wrong with me this year.  I feel like my personality is changing and I don't like it.  I mean, life isn't fair-I get that.  I've known that since before kindergarten.  Buy why am I so much more openly pessimistic lately?  I miss my old optimistic self-even when I knew there was no way something was going to turn out okay.  It's always worth a shot, right?

I'm still passionate about where I want to go in life.  I want to be in the career that I'm studying for in college.  I still want to spend basically the rest of my life with Ryan.  I still want to get out there and make an awesome life for myself.  I think that I just want it so badly that I'm losing the joy I had while sticking with the present.  I'd like to think I live my life by focusing on the present moment and how things feel, look, and taste to me right now.  But honestly, I may take a few minutes to center myself.  Then it's right back to the grindstone to work on getting to my future.  I've been working so hard for college.  I knew back in kindergarten and first grade that I wanted to go to college, that I was going to go to college.  I went through a phase in my younger grades where I thought the only reason I worked so hard in school to get good grades was to show my (pretty much nonexistent) father how good I was, so that he could be proud of me, and take more than 30 seconds to look at me.  I mean really look at me.  Unfortunately that never happened-he didn't want me.  And so I stuck back with Plan A-get to college.  I've put in so much work for myself to get here and do what I need to do so that I can live comfortably.  I'm not looking to make millions of dollars a year, I just want to make enough to support myself and my future family.  I'm chasing the dream of having my two little red-headed twin girls, seeing them off for the first time to the bus, carving out pumpkins in October, everything my mom and grandparents did with me as a child.  How much longer do I have to wait until I can finally be in the life that I want?  How much longer do I have to remain financially dependant on my family because I'm STILL a full-time student, trying to get a degree to get a job so that I don't become homeless and starving on the side of the street?  When do I start getting to live the life I've worked my entire life for-and enjoy the benefits?  I'm sick of the drudgery.  I'm sick of putting in all this work and not seeing much of what I'm going to be getting out of it.  Every semester I get my grades, and they're all A's and B's.  Okay...well when exactly do those A's and B's start turning into something tangible?  I'm sick of just seeing a stupid letter grade and somehow having that supposed to satisfy me for all the hard work I'm putting in. 

Part of me wants to enjoy college while I'm here-it'll be the last few years of fun/freedom that I'll probably ever have, but the (now) stronger part of me wants to skip to the day I find out I'm pregnant, to the day I get married (maybe?), to the day I move into my own place for the first time, to the day I get to see Lara and Phoebe off to the bus for the first day of kindergarten.  I know a lot of you are just going to say something along the lines of "Don't rush it!  Enjoy it while you can!" or, "Hang in there!  Only a few more years!"  Well, awesome.  But I'm tired of busting butt for 20 years to make things come together for myself, and things still aren't really all that clear.  I'm scared.  I'm scared the future is never going to come together for me.  I'm scared that I'm still going to be living at home after I graduate college because I don't have the fiscal means to get out on my own.  I'm scared that I'm never going to reach a place in my life where I can just take a deep breath and relax.  I'm scared that Lara and Phoebe are going to be smudged out of existence before they even get the chance to be conceived.  I'm scared that I won't be able to afford to live. 

This is a lot, and it's all very deep, but I think this gets to the point of where my weird moods are coming from lately.  I see a big, black, gaping hole for my future after Champlain.  I've started working with Meg as of yesterday for grad school stuff, but I don't even know if I'll get that far because Champlain's undergrad SWK program is yet to be accredited.   So.....yeah.  I just wish someone could hold me and tell me everything is going to be all right, because honestly, I don't know anymore. 

Hope your life is better than mine right now.

XXOO
Megan

P.S.  To Ashley and Ryan-I apologize for the past few days.  You guys have put up with me while I just sit and sulk, while I have those periods where I just don't want to talk, and those periods where you can't shut me up because I'm bitching for 20 minutes straight about something or another.  You guys truly are the best, and I wouldn't be half as sane now if it weren't for the both of you.  <3

Well, That's Disappointing

http://thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/so-whats-going-to-really-happen-with-todays-dont-ask-dont-tell-vote/politics/2010/09/21/12996

Yeah, kind of bummed about this.

At least it is a step.  Hopefully Congress will vote to continue the debates on all of the amendments and such for the "National Defense Authorization Act"-which will include continuing the debate of the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell (DADT.) 

At the end of this article it is stated that the repeal for DADT vote probably won't actually happen until November.  Keep your eyes peeled.  <3

_____________________________________________________

In more micro-related news:

I'm back to 270.  *Sigh*  Probably has something to do with the fact that I keep getting convinced to buy food every night.  Someone ends up saying they're hungry (usually me, but then an hour later everyone else chimes in,) and this leads to a snowball effect of Cheesy Waffle Fry Goodness every few days.  Which isn't helping, obviously.

Also, I haven't been very good at entering food into Weight Watchers.  Which sucks, because I'm paying for this every day.  I need to do a better job at staying on track.  At least I'm paying for it now and not my grandmother-so I don't feel quite as bad as I could.  It's a bit difficult because my schedule requires me to be up on campus for the majority of the day.  And I don't always find myself near a computer.  I was originally planning to use my iTouch to access the internet and enter my food that way, but the Weight Watchers website requires Flash in order for the trackers to work.  Which I don't believe iTouches are capable of.  Eff my life.

But, that's another excuse.  Another way to try to convince myself that it isn't all my fault.  I want this weight loss rather badly so I don't understand why I can't stay focused and just DO what I need to DO to make it happen.  Yeah it's going to be a hell of a lot of work, and I get that.  But once I'm where I want to be, all's I'll have to worry about is maintaining the lifestyle I've already created for myself. 

I am really interested in the "rewards center" part of my brain.  Obviously that part of me has been extraordinarily spoiled and therefore I crave things I shouldn't be having more often.  Of all the indulgences I've had throughout my life, I can't blame it for wanting to continue being satisfied.  I'm curious to see if there's a way I can flip it so that it feels rewarded when I choose a salad instead of a few pieces of pizza (which doesn't fill a person up anyway-you're hungry about 2-3 hrs later.)  It would be awesome if I could get a scientist involved to do a study on me and to see what exactly the hell is going on.  I have willpower and drive to do and take care of certain things in my life, so I don't understand why that can't be applied to all other areas of my life.  Why can't I take my dedication in being a good student and working hard for my good grades, and have the same kind of motivation and dedication to take care of myself?  There are others that I know that make it seem so easy.  I'm jealous.  I hate that I can't bring myself to use my free time slots during the day to go to the gym and get moving.  I hate that I get hungry very soon, and that I can't find things high enough in fiber/protein to keep me full for the "correct" amount of time without forking over a crap ton more money for Luna bars or Cliff bars (which are amazing, but sort of expensive.)  I hate that I'm back to where I started, and I have no idea how to get back on the horse again. 

I feel a bit lost, and I'm worried because there's a part of my brain that doesn't care.  Part of me feels like I'm always meant to be between 260-270, no matter how hard I try.  My body gravitates toward that weight constantly.  It's so much more frustrating than some people realize.  I understand that there is such a thing in existence where your body has its "happy weight"-where if you're a few pounds over or under, you don't feel quite right.  Which is interesting.  But being 5' 6" and 270 lbs, that's considered "severely obese" according to BMI charts.  (Also, because I have that much weight, it's sometimes hard for me to tell the difference that a few pounds can make.  It just doesn't seem like that much to me.)  Can a body be happy and extremely unhealthy/obese at the same time?  Maybe I've just been this weight for so long that my body isn't ready to recognize that I shouldn't be this heavy.  I've got genetics stacked up against me in all directions, and I really am at a point where I'm feeling quite helpless.  If I could have a professional nutritionist to talk to and someone who's certified to work with me, that would be awesome.  But, oh hey, guess what?  I don't have any health insurance right now because the college hasn't sent me my new cards for the year.  Also, even with that, it wouldn't cover the cost of me being able to see someone on a regular basis, or at all, really.  Fucking love America.

I'm going to go sulk in my own self pity for a little while until I feel a little better.  And try not be so miserable when I think about the salad that is going to be my lunch, because I decided to drink about 3 cups of chocolate milk this morning (hey, I was thirsty and it's supposed to be filling,) and now I have like, 6 pts left for the day. 

I could really use some support right now; I don't feel beautiful anymore.

<3 Megan <3

Today I Did Something Awesome

DADT

Don't Ask; Don't Tell.

Apparently America hasn't realized that when a law is passed, it applies to EVERYONE in the country.  Soldiers aren't exempt.  There is a law in this country that states that no individual can be discriminated against on basis of age, sex, gender, sexual orientation, disability, etc.  And yet, if a soldier happens to come out, that individual is dishonorably discharged from the service.  WTF??!!!?  Excuse me?  REALLY?!  Okay, so apparently America needs recruits to go fight for rights in their country that don't even apply to themselves. 

This is really sad.

Ryan and I called our senators (Bernie Sanders and Patrick Leahy) and said that we would like for them to repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell on Tuesday.  Lady Gaga (a goddess in all her glory,) is spurring a HUGE Youth Movement advocating for everyone in our generation to call our senators and finally, finally stand up for what we believe in.  Follow the link here to check it out.  This is SO important especially with the youth in this country.  We technically should have the largest say in making our voices heard in regards to this policy.  This is the rest of the majority of our lives, as well as the lives of our children that we are dealing with.  If Don't Ask Don't Tell isn't repealed, we have to live with this for the rest of our lives until someone is able to raise a large enough movement to take the government by storm. 

I feel as though the current 20-something-year-old generation is extraordinarily accepting and is also very motivated towards making the changes that we feel need to be made within our country.  We have a huge passion for those who are being discriminated against.  We've all been there at some point in our lives.  We've been socialized by parents, guardians, friends, schools, government, media, etc in terms of what to think, how to think, and what is the "right" thing to do.  Our generation is sick of being told what to think and feel.  We know what feels right in our hearts, and damnit we're doing something about it!

Lady Gaga said something that really stuck with me.  Granted, I will not be able to put it as eloquently as she did, but here's the basics of it.  This isn't about whether or not you personally believe in homosexuality or approve of it in any way, this is about senators doing their job in terms of holding up the Constitution.  Don't Ask Don't Tell is extremely unconstitutional.  It blows my mind that individuals have the right to not be discriminated against within the country, and yet our soldiers, the very people who are risking their lives for this right don't have it extended to them.  I don't understand how this makes any sense in the eyes of other people.

Bottom line: if you believe in something and you know in your heart that something is not right or feels weird to you, say something about it.  Call your senator and dish!  Seriously-people love to chat it up.  Start some controversy!  Remember how teachers always used to say "there are no stupid questions.  Chances are, if you have a question, the majority of the class probably has the same question.  Don't be afraid to ask it-everyone will appreciate that someone took the risk?"  Same policy here.  There may be many who believe in the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell, but aren't going to actively show their support in order to sway the vote of their senators.  Please, I'm asking you as a fellow American, as 20 year old college student, as daughter, a classmate, a female, a friend--do what you think is right.  If you believe Don't Ask Don't Tell is unconstitutional and it doesn't feel right to you, figure out a way to get in contact with your senators.

If you live in Vermont:
Bernie Sanders' number is: (202) 224-5141
Patrick Leahy's number is: (202) 224-4242

Call them-and let them know what you feel.

This is America; We have the right to be heard.

<3 Megan <3

P.S. Tomorrow is weigh in day.  :S

-5

Hello, everybody!

Whew, this weekend has been such a rush.  The Last Exorcism, party with Jess Lowell, and Contra Dancing all rolled into one, fun-filled adventure.  :)  I just wish it would never end.  But it will, as all things have to.

I have some great news to share after my staggering 10lb gain last week!  I lost 5!  So, essentially I'm right back to where I was before I started Weight Watchers for the 2nd time this past summer.  Thinking about it that way is definitely frustrating, but hey, at least I didn't gain another 5.

As I've learned with Weight Watchers, you're going to screw up sometimes.  Actually, lots of times.  It's inevitable.  Losing weight is HARD work.  It's not something you can commit yourself to, and expect to happen right away.  It definitely isn't something for the weak-willed people of the world.  (I have issues with my willpower often enough, so I'm speaking directly from personal experience, here.)  A "diet" can't be this wishy-washy food and exercise plan that you follow sometimes, and then wonder why it isn't working for you.  When you're in the business of losing weight-it's go big or go home. 

A support system can make ALL the difference in the world.  I'm very lucky to have such a strong support system from all of my friends and family, whenever I need them.  They keep me strong and motivated (except for those times when the friends aren't thinking and decide that supper for the night should be Wings, but then it's all up to me whether I want to comply or not.)  Unfortunately I usually do-the cafeteria on campus isn't always as appealing as I think the staff would like.  But, I mean, at least we get to eat.  :)

Last night I went Contra Dancing with Ryan, and two of his Theatre friends from UVM (Alice, and Zoe), at Edmund's Middle School here in Burlington.  What a blast.  :)  Some of the same people are still dancing as the ones Ashley, Velvet, Ryan, and I experienced the first time we went.  Contra Dancing is such a beautiful art form.  When everyone knows what they're doing and when the ladies that have been doing this for years are making it all look so effortless, Contra Dancing's appeal certainly shines through.  I was thinking about whether they have a formal Contra Dance later in the year where all the ladies and gents dress up in formal wear and then come to pull this off.  I think it would be gorgeous!!!!!!  :)  Ryan and I learned that he needs to work on his frame and that I need to (still) work on how to spin correctly.  Aww..dancing lessons!  Well-moral of the story for all this-Contra Dancing is INTENSE.  After one dance I'm sweaty, gross, can't breathe, and for every 1 dance that I dance, I need to sit out 2.  Hahaha.  That's pretty bad, but hey, I have a lot more weight that I'm throwing around than all the rest of those people.  If there  was a weekly class or dance offered somewhere that pulled off a Contra Dance for an hour or two, I would totally go to that.  It would increase my stamina, my confidence in some of the moves, and maybe I could even learn a few extra fun moves to throw in as well. 

You can really learn a lot about a person by the way they dance.  :)  Obviously you want a partner that can keep up with you, but not one that wants to swing you around 110 mph so that your feet don't even get the CHANCE to touch the ground.  (I mean, unless you're into that sort of thing...)  There were some people that I felt safe and comfortable with, and others that I felt like I had to take the lead-which is not fun.  A person really learns a lot from moving their body with someone else.  I believe it is an experience everyone should be able to have. 

All in all, everything went well.  My core and my thighs hurt a little today, but right now I'm in the mindset that I want to Bounce and Swing every guy I come across with.  And that could potentially be awkward....I don't know......   ;)

In the end, I'm still working on losing weight.  Unless something terribly interesting happens in the next week that I just can't WAIT to blog about (it'll probably happen,) I'll check back in again next Sunday with how I've done.  Please, please, please wish me luck.  Until I feel myself sliding back down into the 250s I won't feel as though I'm doing a super fantastic great job. 

LOVE!

<3 Megan <3

I'm Going To Be Hot

Finding a bathing suit when you're a size 22/24 is difficult.  Finding a bathing suit when you're any size, really is always going to be difficult.  But especially when you're a size 22/24.  Why's that?  Because NOTHING IS EVER IN YOUR SIZE!!!

Currently I have a 1 piece that I have been comfortable in all summer.  (Now, don't judge me on the basis of being big and wearing a 1 piece.  I've worn 2 pieces in the past-and they were always tankinis.)  Unfortunately with the 1 piece, I frequently get frustrated when I'm in the water for an hour or so, then I have to pee.  So I get out, and it's like an epic battle in a porta-potty trying to wedge the entire suit down my body, say NOTHING about shimmying it back up.  (15 minutes of cardio right there.) 

As you can see, that's a perfectly justifiable reason to miss a 2 piece.  A second reason is transitions-between public places that are beaches and public places that are not.  I like having something versatile that works in both places.  It's difficult to be able to transition well from street clothes to finding a way to get the 1 piece on before I get to the beach, and vise versa. 

Enter, the tankini.  I still have a pretty large stomach/midsection area compared to most other people.  Therefore, I would be humiliated if I tried to wear a bikini.  Nobody wants to look at that.  I don't even want to look at that.  Therefore-covering the majority of the pudge is absolutely necessary.  As such, here's the top I bought:

Don't think I'm blind.  I know my tummy still looks pretty bad in this.  But I bought it for a reason-two, actually.  Reason number 1: My boobs look fabulous!!! And because I'm wearing this new bathing suit in Florida on Thanksgiving Break, I want to look fabulous.  Reason number 2:  Because I'm still working on losing weight, my plan is to flatten out my stomach-which will make this look much better on me.  Normally I'm not an advocate for buying clothes that don't already actually fit you, but a flatter tummy?  Awesome boobs?  I'm down. 

:)  It's Florida beaches, I have motivation.  :)

The bottoms.  They are on their way.  I went to my local Lane Bryant today to find a bathing suit bottom as other stores like Macy's, Maurices, Old Navy, Kohl's, JcPenny's and others either don't sell bathing suits or don't actually sell them in my size.  I liked the skirt bottom because it helps hide a little of my thigh pudge, but you know what?  Any skirt-ish kind of bathing suit is hard to wear under any pair of pants because it adds even more bulge to my already bulky frame.  It's just adds a size or two and makes me feel worse about my condition.  SO-I decided to just go with regular bottoms.  Not shorts.  Not a thong.  Just regular bottoms. 

These ones, in fact:

I think that together, these pieces will make a wonderful suit, and I'll feel wonderful when I slip into it.  What I also love about the top is that the strings for the halter are small.  Which means a large reduction in tan lines.  (Which is something else I'm all for.)  Yeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh man!!!!

Toes.

Anywho, I really think I have a good chance at pulling this off.  The suit only requires that I drop 1 size by November, which I don't feel is asking too much of myself.  If I can continue to do my best to eat and drink healthy (partially to drop some weight, partially so I don't get sick because colds are already spreading around campus,) then I feel like I have a wonderful chance at looking good down in Florida.

Keep your fingers crossed for me!  Better yet, leave me some love!

<3 Megan <3

The answer is no.  I am staying domestic next semester and enjoying my originally planned semester here in tthe sometimes-sleepy city of Burlington.  I have realized that I am way too content and happy with my life here to miss a single day of it, say nothing about 4 months.

I've been looking forward to a semester free of responsibilities, commitments, and stressful scheduling for many semesters.  And now that I get the chance, I'm not letting go.  I've got a bloody VICE GRIP on it.

Thank you to all of you who messaged me in one way or another via FaceBook or e-mail to share your advice with me.  I seriously sat down and thought about it all, but I've realized staying here is where I want to be.  I'm comfortable where I am and I want to start setting down roots here.  I'll probably be a native Vermon'er until I die.  Eventually, I will get to Ireland.  If its for a week, a month, or even possibly a year, I'll do it.  I don't know how, but you know what?  I don't have to have all the answers right now.  I'm just going to continue doing what's right for me, and right now-this is it.

:)

XOXO

Uh-Oh. :(

I'm so confused!!!!!

I was approached today by Linda Rodd asking if I was going abroad next semester.  A simple enough question, yeah?  No.  Not really.  (Note: abroad for me means to Dublin, Ireland.  We have a Montreal campus,  but I'm not interested.)

See, I had originally planned to have this amazing semester next semester free of commitments, worries, and bothers.  And now I have the option of going abroad dumped back in my lap.

My main arguments for not going were these: as a SWK major, classes for my program aren't being offered over there as of yet; I am not sure I have the $$$ to go (basically it's about the same cost as a regular semester, but you have to buy the plane tickets;) and I don't know if I want to leave Ryan here alone.

The first two can probably be negotiated and dealt with, but I don't know how I feel about leaving my oldest (in terms of years being friends) best friend alone at college for a semester.  And I don't know if I can handle it.

This is all sounding like it's coming to a phone conversation with my family tonight after my supper and before Music Makers.  See, I'd love to go, but for all the reasons mentioned above I just don't know.  I also don't know when/if later in life I'd be able to go on my own outside of college.  I mean, once you get settled in a career, you don't get good vacation time easily usually until your late 20s or mid 30s.  Which is suck.

I'm torn. 

:(

1/2 Fail

Hellllllllllllllllllllloooooooooooo Blogosphere!

So-I have some news.  I half failed this past week.  Now, I've been EXTRAORDINARILY active.  Like, walking nonstop to and from the U-Mall, but...I have some bad news.

Somehow I managed to gain 10 lbs in a week.  Yeah....I know, right?  Despite having walked literally half my ass off (which is sad because I LOOOVE my butt,) I still managed to gain all that weight.  Now-I didn't splurge in copious amounts or anything like that.  My theory is that since I've been so active, I've been building muscle.  My grandmother's theory is something to do with water retention and the fact that last week was 90 degrees every single day, and something or other to that effect.  Maybe it's both?  I'm not sure.  Either way, I know I'm slimmer (see "Looking Down: I See Boobs"), but it sucks that I still have to carry all this extra crappy weight around with me.

Zumba is still going wonderfully.  Lisa is my instructor here on campus.  (We took Kickboxing together last year.)  Zumba is much more fun, though.  :)  I am always so tired on my way to Zumba, but by the time I leave I've been sweating and the endorphins have kicked in, so it makes the rest of the night go easier. 

On another note....Whale's Tails!!!!  Ryan's recounting of this excellent trip is here; Ashley's is here.

This sums up the Meg Ryan relationship...

See!  I'm not lying.  I have lost some of my tummy!

Mmmm hmmm.

Effing Adorable.

Originally Ashley Ryan and I had decided that Sundays we would use to explore our area via hiking, or doing some other bonding activity.  Ryan and I were going to show Ashley our "spot" that we found last year this Sunday, but instead after looking through What's Good (a little booklet 7Days puts out at the beginning of every school year for us kids,) we found that there's a secret path up to actually touch the Whales' Tails that can be seen coming North on I-89.  So, we decided that for 20-30 minutes we would wave at traffic.  Another Megan in my COR class and I randomly came across each other in Dirt Chic downtown (another place we decided to explore,) and I later found out that Megan saw us while we were at the Whale's Tails.  WHOA.  Welcome to VT-small world.

All in all, the Whale's Tails trip was a success.  Plus, multiple double rainbows showed up.  (Check here for the musical rendition.)  It was wonderful. 

What wasn't a success however was getting a ride back to campus.  The CCTA bus decided it was totally okay to be 25-30 minutes late.  Which would have been fine, had it not started raining.  5 minutes before the water started falling from the sky:

Yes, we're sitting in the grass waiting for the bus.  Soon after Ashley took this picture, the Heavens opened up and water splashed everywhere.  It was an ugly experience.  After making a call to Sketchy Josh to come pick us up, the bus decides it's an awesome time to show up.  Obviously.  This followed by a text to Sketchy Josh telling him he doesn't have to pick us up and waiting the next 40 minutes to get back to campus= a really bad trying to get home trip.  I mean, obviously it was great in that the memories will be there forever.  But-it was cold and wet.  Oh well, at least we got to order Wings (Honey BBQ Chicken Wrap with Cheesy Waffle Fries,) and marvel in the fact that we made it back alive.

Ahhh....the tales of epic travels.

Until next time.

-Megan

Looking Down: I See Boobs!

Soooo....some of you may be baffled at the title.  Understandably so.

Here's what I mean.

When I came to college, I was overweight enough where when I looked down the front of my body, I saw boobs and then a few inches of protruding tummy beyond that.  Now when I look down...I just see boobs!!! Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!  This means I've probably lost some inches on my tummy area, but I'll be able to validate that more when I'm able to find some quiet time to strip down and take my measurements.  (It's really rather difficult in college with people around all the time.)  I'm not knocking it though, all summer I craved more interaction with people my own age.  Well, now I've got it.

I'm very excited for weigh-in on Sunday.  Also, I've gone in to reset my WW points.  I had been allotted 32 points per day, but now that I've indicated that I'm walking most of the time, I'm allowed 37 points per day.  No WONDER I've been starving at the end of the day.  I'm doing some serious calorie burning by walking everywhere (especially to Ryan's dorm room-which is 5 stories up-and elevators are not an option.)

To add on the subject of my diminishing belly bulge, I feel like I can account to the other reason I've lost some of it.  First, there's the exercise portion which obviously helps, regardless.  But then there's the food choices.  Case in point:  I looooooove warm bagels with cream cheese.  They taste so good, and it's essentially a comfort food.  However, bread expands in your stomach-therefore creating extra pudge and bloat during the day.  I've been really careful about choosing lots of fruits in the morning for breakfast (I need to start working more protein in in my breakfasts as well-but I'm working on that,) and having at LEAST 1 salad a day with either lunch or dinner.  I like to try to have a bigger lunch because then your body has the entire rest of the day to digest that.  Dinner should be something simple yet effective.  Half a plate of veggies or fruits, 1/4 plate of protein/fiber, 1/4 plate of whole grains. 

I'm having a bit of a battle with the "whole grains" thing.  The prepared meals I've been getting are more geared either towards straight up carbs (lunch), or lots of veggies/healthy stuff that'll digest within the next hour or so (dinner-usually.)  Maybe I should work on making deli choices for lunch instead, and then asking for whole grain bread.  That may help.  :)  Plus any cold cut means will be protein.  Hmmm...excellent.

Also-on a side note.  I splurged last night.  It's been around 90 degress EVERDAY of college so far.  It's sooooooo hot.  Vermont is NOT supposed to be 90 degress.  Ever.  Okay, maybe one or two days out of August, but not for weeks at a time.  It was in the 70s and 80s before I left for college back in Lyndonville, and now that I'm back in Burlington where the weather is naturally about 5 degress warmer than home anyway, the temp decides it needs to skyrocket.  Because of this, I had a chocolate creemee for desert yesterday with Hershey's chocolate sauce.  I don't regret it.  :)

Anywho, I've got to wrap up this post for now because I have class in a half hour and I'd like some time to center myself before going up to campus for 3 classes.  To everyone out there-good luck with your weight loss plan or with your making healthier lifestyle choices plan!  I'm always here...going through the same process with you.

Chin up, kids!

<3 Megan <3

How I'm Doing

Hi, all!  So, weight loss!  My next weigh-in day isn't until Sunday, but I just want to let you all know what's going on for me right now.

Basically, I'm throwing my points system out the window for this week.  After move in day (which was the day I made my last post,) I've been SO incredibly active.  Also, it's been about 90 degrees every day since, so while you're sitting on the couch, you're sweating.  It's basically the best weight loss plan ever.  (Kidding...kind of...)

SO-with Weight Watchers, in order to calculate how many points per week you're allowed, you indicate your current weight and what your activity level looks like.  Well, obviously when I was home this summer I was sitting most of the time.  Now that I'm back at college, I'm up and going almost all the time, so I'm burning through calories left and right.

I think I've probably lost about 4 lbs through sweating the past 4 days alone.  But I digress.  Essentially, I think I've jumpstarted my metabolism with all the force of a great typhoon.  (Little reference to Disney's Mulan.)  So because of this, I'm finding myself becoming hungry a lot sooner than I'm used to.  Also since I've been back at college, I've been doing my best to eat lots of fruits and vegetables throughout the day.  Unfortunately, the sucky drawback with increasing fiber intake is that sometimes you become kind of gassy.  And in college, as everyone knows, there's no place to really go to fart.  It's horrible!  Seriously, I've had conversations with Eden and Ryan about this my freshman year of college.  And I don't mean gassy just in terms of farting, but also in terms of your stomach and gastrointestinal tract making weird noises randomly throughout the day.  I know that's probably TMI for some people, but I'm being completely honest with all of you what you sometimes have to go through.  I know that a lot of this is my body just adjusting to getting the nutrients it needs, but seriously.  It's difficult sometimes.  Haha.

So to wrap up, basically I think I'm doing good with my weight loss.  I had more substance in my meals today because I realized that I'd be getting hungry a lot sooner than usual.  More protein and more fiber, yo!  One of my regrets about our cafeteria is that the caf doesn't usually serve yogurt beyond breakfast.  Which is really sad.  Obviously.  Since they usually have granola.

But-whatever.  I'm going to keep doing the best I can and trying to stay active and healthy to the best of my ability.  That's all anyone can ever ask of you.

Best of luck to everyone out there!  Keep me posted on what's happening for you!

-Megan