Mr. Scarborough: Part 1

Hello, my lovelies!  The past few days have made me feel more alive and excited than I have in the past 5 months.  Why so?  Well, it's Mr. Scarborough.  He's perfect.  Seriously.  In every way possible.  I really want to get to the point where we can have our first meeting in person, because I'm completely smitten.

Soooo.....here's some things we have in common.

1) Favorite colors
2) Shampoo shopping (if we ever go shopping for shampoo together, it's going to take forever.  hahaha!!)
3) What we're looking for
4) Movies we like
5) Books we like
6) Genres in general of movies/books/music that we like
7) WE CAN COMMUNICATE!!! (Wait, that can happen?  ......wait...what?)
8) He likes to cuddle
9) We both want kids someday.  (Lara and Phoebe, anyone?)  Hehe.
10) We both like Ryan (LMFAO!)
11) We're both in the process of losing weight together.  Awwww.....fun in the sun date, anyone?
12) He's a Pisces.
13) ...ok, so there's a TON more.  But basically, he's me in a guy body.  He's basically everything I want all wrapped up in one awesome package.  Now if we can just get to meet in person, I think we'll really be able to decide where we stand with each other.

I like that all my friends seem to love him just as much as me so far.  I know Velvet stalked him on FaceBook (she's good at that,) and Ryan had said he would turn gay for him. Haha! <3  As for Ashley, I haven't talked to her in a few days! :(  I think she's really happy for me though, and maybe she'll stalk him on FaceBook too. 

Bottom line?  I really think this could work.  I mean, it sucks that he's 3.5 hrs away from me here in Lyndonville, but, I'm sure we can make special arrangements.  It's going to be much worse when I go back to college, but maybe there will be some weekends where he can come spend some quality time with me in Burlington.  (Ohhhh, Snowball 2011, anyone?)  :)  (And/or vise versa...except I don't have a car to get me up there on my own.) 

Oh well.  RAWR.  At least we both have phones, unlimited texting, and MSN.  MSN has video chat....soooo....yeah.  I'm just really bad at AIM.  Hahahaha.  <3

Anywho, I'm ready to take the leap.  After this first meeting, I feel like we'll both have a pretty good idea of whether we'll make it or not.  And you know what?  I'm psychic.  So, I'm going to say yes.  Trust me, I'm good at this sort of thing.

I just hope he's as taken with me as I am with him.  Time will tell.

Tell me what you think so far. :)

<3 Megan <3

P.S. I know I'm supposed to be focusing on weight loss, but when really good (and sometimes really bad) things happen in my life, I'm going to blog about them here as well.  It shows you I'm still human, and I have things that come up while trying to work through the process.  I'm NOT a robot! <3

Big Girl in the Gym! Whoa!

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a few days!!  Things have been crazy around here; watching the LOST finale with Ryan (and texting Ashley all throughout,) working my Friday through Sunday schedule at:

and meeting some new people online.

(Just for legality purposes and what not because I'm not looking to get sued by anybody for anything after putting this picture in here, anything I say in this post or in my blog is not the views of Kinney Drugs or any of it's affiliates.  This is all my own opinion, and my own thinking.  I'm just working at Kinney's part time to help me pay my way through college.  [Textbooks are EXPENSIVE!!!!]  I enjoy my job, and I love the people I work with.  I'm not working against Kinney's in any way.)

I've recently (as of last night,) started talking with someone online.  For now, let's call him Mr. Scarborough.  He's funny, sweet, and is always making me smile (although he doesn't actually know that last part for sure because we haven't actually met face-to-face yet.)  This was a big enough deal that I had Ryan come up to my house on his break from McD's so we could chat about it!  Hahaha.  I love having on-call best friends!  Overall, I think I like Mr. Scarborough.  I want to meet him in person, but I've got to figure out how to save for the gas $$$, and where to actually meet up.  As a girl, I'm a bit more cautious about where I meet someone as I don't want to end up raped and murdered like the hundreds/thousands of other girls we've seen on tv.  I'm trying to remind myself to take it slow because falling too hard too fast has never ended well for anybody in the past, and this time will be no exception.  I'm letting life take me where it will, and I'll make what seems to be the smartest decisions I can under the given circumstances along the way.

Now, onto my real reason for today's post.  I have 30-or-so ideas for blog posts I have created in the past 3 days.  This is the first of them.  I'm trying to stay with the new focus of my blog, and to offer some new perspective to you out there who are "skinny" (I use quote marks because "skinny," "big," "plus-size," and any other variants are all relative and subjective.)  Many "thin" people don't realize what exactly goes through the mind of someone "big" when in seemingly normal, everyday situations, like, going to the gym for instance.  Well, in all my glory at 260 lbs, i shall enlighten you.

This post is dedicated to all the "big" people in the gym.  (Specifically, women.  I don't know exactly what it's like for a "large" man to be in the gym, but I can imagine that some face the same insecurities that women do.)

So, what's it like for me in the gym?  Intimidating.  Daunting.  I usually get defensive and protective of myself.  Why?  Well, nobody is physically attacking me.  As far as I know I'm not being taunted.  It's actually just the way people look at you.  You feel like the the other "smaller" people are judging you for showing up in a place like this.  And sometimes, they are.  Especially women.  Whoever said words can't hurt was lying.

But you know what?  If you're "big" and you can relate to this post because you've been to the gym, CONGRATULATIONS!  You went to the gym to try to keep your body healthy.  That is AWESOME, no matter the judgements passed onto you.  If you respect yourself enough to get right back up on that proverbial horse when you fall off, then you've got my full-fledged support!

Personally, I've taken on a new attitude about the gym in the past few years.  All those "thin" people at the gym?  Yeah, they can shove it.  You have more courage and stamina than they do if you are "big", and can bring yourself to the gym, regardless of how many pounds you can lift, or how many miles you can (or can't) run.  You're "big" and you're trying to get and stay healthy by bringing down your weight.  That almost gives you more of a right to be in there busting butt than the stereotypical pretty blonde who can run on the treadmill for a full hour.

I mean, it's important that all the "smaller" people stay healthy too, but just remember that you have just as much right to go to the gym as the pretty blonde.

Everyone is amazing in their own way, and everyone deserves to be healthy and happy.  As a "big" person, it takes a lot more effort to be comfortable with yourself to let others watch you as you jiggle away on a stationary bike.  (Note: I understand that other people have other flaws as well, but those are other stories for other times.)

My blog is here to hopefully inspire you who are faltering in the weight loss department, and to help you form a bond with someone who is going/has gone through the same thing as you.  It's rough, and it's sure as hell not easy, but I think it can be done.  "Losing weight" is always easier said than done, but when working together, maybe not.  Maybe not..

<3 Until next time, much love! <3

-Megan

LG Cosmos

I got a new cell phone!  The LG Cosmos.  I love the name, because now I can joke that I hold the entire Cosmos in my hands.  Hahaha!  That's toes legit.  Let me find you all a picture:

I know it doesn't look exactly SPECTACULAR in this photo, but it feels so perfect in my hands.  It was definitely made for me.  Phone shopping, I realized, is a lot like dating.  You just keep shopping around until you find the one that feels right in your hands.  :) <3

In other news, I've been working hard to create ideas for new blog posts.  I have a good solid 30 or so written down, now alls there is to do is to sit down and write them.  I am going to the Packer tonight to dance with Toria and (hopefully) Ryan, and tomorrow I work 1-6.  So, after I've recovered from all of that business, I'll be free to write you all a newbie. 

Bottom line, my new phone and my new blog are my babies.  This is going to be soooo much fun. :)

Much love.

<3 Megan <3

Wait...What?

Okay.  So, my body is like WTF?  I woke up this morning, and apparently I've lost 4 lbs in the span of like, 12 hours.  256.  Not that I'm complaining, but wtf.  I mean, it could be because my body is in Girly Week Mode (GWM-read: PERIOD,) however, that's still kind of a lot.  Granted, I haven't eaten my first meal of the day yet because I just woke up at 11, BUT...still.  :)

Yesterday I spent a good hour of my life looking for a gadget to add to Blogger that would track my weight loss/gain, so you could all see it on a chart.  However, Blogger doesn't appear to have that sort of thing, and when I tried to google it (check out igoogle.com,) apparently the "Create Your Own" gadget option by inserting a URL doens't actually work.  So, we're left with all of you actually having to read my blog posts to find out where I'm at.  Sorry!

Anywho, I'm pretty much loving my work schedule.  I'm working Fri/Sat/Sun of every week at Kinneys, and usually on the closing shifts.  FABULOUS!!!! :D  This gives me Monday-Thursday of complete blogging freedom, CCV classes, Friend Frolicing, etc!  I mean, it sucks that I can't go anywhere on the weekends, but I actually wouldn't have been able to anyway due to lack of $$$.

Oh well.  More fun for me.

Someday when I get really excited I might spend a day in my bathing suit at Willoughby beach.  Mmmm...sunshine.

In other related news:
ASHLEY!  I FORGOT TO CALL YOU LAST NIGHT!  AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M SUCH A HORRIBLE PERSON!!!  My plan was to wait for the 7-9 slot because I knew I'd be with Ryan at Jake's house for a bbq and I wanted to surprise you by having both of us speak, but then we started writing a screenplay from one of Ryan's on stage productions, and at 12:30 we were like, "Oh, shit!!!!!"  AHHHH!!!

Okay, so I work until 9 tonight.  When I get home from work I usually eat supper then go on FB.  If by like, 10 I haven't called you but I am on FB, tell me to call you and we WILL talk.  Seriously, I feel bad. :(

<333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

On a lighter note, can I just say that this looks amazing?
_________________________________________________
B-B-Q Chicken Pizza

Shared by: Debbi
5 Points Per Serving


Also made this over the weekend. Again...definitely pleased hubby and was a good portion size. Enjoy!!!

1 (10-ounce) package refrigerated pizza dough
3/4 c. chopped green pepper (about 1 medium)
3/4 c. thinly sliced red onion (about 1 small)
1/2 c. honey barbecue sauce
1-1/2 c. shredded cooked chicken breast
1 c. (4 oz.) shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese


1. Coat a 12-in. pizza pan or large baking sheet with cooking spray. Unroll dough, and press into pan. Bake at 425º for 5 - 7 minutes or until crust begins to brown. 2. While crust bakes, coat a medium nonstick skillet with cooking spray; place over medium-high heat until hot. Add green pepper and onion and cook, stirring constantly, 5 minutes or until vegetables are tender. 3. Spread barbecue sauce evenly over baked crust; topevenly with chicken. Arrange vegetable mixture evenly over chicken; sprinkle with cheese. Bake 8 additional minutes or until crust is golden and cheese melts.

Yield: 6 servings
238 Calories 0.9 Fiber 5.5 Fat
__________________________________________________

(Adapted from: http://www.angelfire.com/journal/wwrecipes/b1.htm)

Mmmm... I want pizza...

But for now...time to go scrounge something up from my kitchen.
While I'm gone, feel free to check out my Harry Potter Quotes Gadget.  It's the one at the top in the white background.  There's an ad on top and I know it's annoying, but scroll down.  There's a quote and the name of who said it. :)

Much love.

Until next time!

<3 Megan <3

Nose pickers? Babies? Bike paths?

So, in my last post, I decided that I wanted to do something with my blog.  I haven't exactly come up with my game plan yet, but I've got some ideas that I have brainstormed.

• All the things I need to buy for college...and updates when I get the stuff! (boring, I know.)
• A review of every single Charmed episode.  (plagiarism...kind of.  Ryan does this with LOST.)
• What I believe in spiritually, why, and posts about other things Wicca and pagan-related.
• Book reviews about every book I have in my room.  (ugh...too much reading.)
• Weight Loss/Food blog.  I STILL want to lose weight, and I always say I'm trying..but the scale doesn't seem to be moving....
• People Who Inspire Me (a blog post about every person I can think of who has touched my life in some way.  Trust me...there are a lot.)
• Movie reviews of every movie I have in my room.  (ugh...more work! wtf?!)
• My incessant love of stationary and pens/pencils.  I buy them all the time, and I think I have a good 10 year supply or so... (yeah, boring and slightly crazy.  I get it.)
• Pets-what I want, what I can't have, and why they're usually a good idea.
• Babies, The Back-Up Plan, ways to get pregnant, rants about how expensive insemination is, what I want for babies, when I want babies, etc.  (hahahahahhahahhaha.)
• Something including people-watching.  Sociology has always held a special place in my heart.  I love watching people, their inconsistencies, their weird behaviors, and what people do when they think nobody else is watching. 

See?  I'm at a complete and total loss here.  I'm all over the place.  I'd like to do a blog that includes having to do something like Julie did in Julie and Julia.  I mean, 524 recipes in 365 days?  Brilliant, much!  I kind of like the cooking idea because there's so much to write about.  How much fun you had while making your masterpiece, how it turned out, any glitches you had during the process, etc.  Unfortunately, I don't have the $$$ to buy the ingredients to actually cook anything.  Ramen is about the only thing in my price range right now, and there isn't much to the process of making some ramen.  LMAO! 

But, back to business.  What else is there that has a process that can be written about?  I'm not looking to necessarily create a how-to manual for something (like one that comes with your TV remote.)  But there's got to be some activity that comes with a process that isn't expensive, super time consuming, or especially difficult.  Out of the choices I've listed, the weight loss one looks like the best idea to me so far, but I don't want to let everyone down when I don't meet my goal.  I know most everyone out there in the blogosphere is going to be supportive of me no matter what happens, but I'm not sure if I'm up to the challenge.

Don't get me wrong, I really honestly do want to lose the weight.  But I've always been overweight.  Unfortunately, it's genetic in my family.  Both my mother AND my father were overweight, and so I'm afraid there isn't much hope for me.  I'm not trying to use the genetic factor to weasel out of putting in the hard work and discipline to do what I need to to lose my weight, but unfortunately, I'm already on the losing end if the favors are stacked against me.

Take for example, The Gut.  You see, most girls don't have this.  Apparently, its typically supposed to be a guy thing.  (At least, that's what I was told in science classes at my elementary/middle school.)  Awesome.  I'm a freak.  (I know I'm not...I'm just kidding. Sheesh!)  Anyway, it's always bothered me.  The majority of my weight and health problems come from having it.  It makes me have to wear jean sizes bigger than what I would if I had a normal womanly shape.  My legs are toned and really athletic (probably from having to carry all of my body weight around all the time,) but I can't even show them off properly because shorts look ugly on me because I have to buy all of my pants/skirts/bottoms in larger sizes than I would need if I didn't have it. 

The Gut is not the only culprit.  The other place I have most of my weight is around my mid-section in general.  Sir Stomach is bad guy #2. 

These are the two areas I would love to slim down in, because I love the rest of my body.  I mean, sure, my arms have a bit of flab on them, but I'm hoping with overall weight loss that will start disappearing. 

So, what's stopping me from getting cracking on this whole weight loss thing? 

1. I <3 food.
2. I have sleepovers (I'll explain the problem with this in a minute-it relates to problem number 1.)
3. There's no place for me to go be active outside around my hometown.
4. When I have the time to be free to exercise, I usually prefer to be sleeping.
5. All this "healthy food" of which people speak usually tastes so bland.  I understand that it's good for me, but really?  I love apples and oranges, so those are ok.  But vegetables and I are usually at war.  I'm a big fan of corn and peas, but beyond that, there isn't much hope for me.  I kind of like celery, but it's hard to eat unless you have ranch dressing or peanut butter.  PB is good for you, but only in limited amounts.  It's just a very confusing world.

The more I stream-of-conscience-write about this topic though, the more I think I want to take it on.  According to the stupid BMI chart or whatever that doctors use, for my height and weight...I'm either obese or "extremely obese."  The chart doesn't go high enough in weight to let me see where the danger zones continue.  I'm 5' 6", and at.....(excuse me while I go weigh myself...brb!).....260 lbs, it doesn't make for a pretty picture.  I mean, I don't look like I'm that overweight, but I blame The Gut and Sir Stomach for the sneak attack.  Bastards.

I respect myself and my body, and I know I have to be gentle how I go about this.  I may write like I don't respect myself, but it's more out of pent-up frustration about my situation than anything else.  I may not appreciate my size, but you know, at least I have working parts on me.  Some people are without limbs, need a catheter, or oxygen.  I am still able to get around without a wheelchair, or any machines to help keep me alive.  I appreciate that fact very much.  But before I get to the point where I need any of that for any reason, I want to make myself more healthy.

During my entire weight loss process, I've not been able to get below 245 lbs.  I've tried, but I think I "plateau-ed" in Weight Watchers speak.  I took myself off WW this past semester of college because I realized I wasn't following what I was supposed to be doing anymore, and I had started Champlain Loses It with Velvet and Ashley, and we were doing a good job all on our own!  Why should I keep spending money to help me lose weight when we were able to do it by ourselves?  Well, Champlain Loses It ended, and now I'm getting back up to where I started.  Back at 260 again.  Really?  C'mon, gimme a break somewhere.  FML.

Ugh, ok.  Enough with the self-pity party.  What's my plan?  Currently I am a size 22/24 in shirts, and I think 26 in pants/shorts.  Because I come from an overweight family and I already naturally have a larger structure than many of my friends, I don't plan on starving myself to get down to a size 6-8 (120-130 lbs.)  I know my body won't do that, and it'll make me look gaunt.  SO not the look I'm after.  If I could get my body back under control and into the size 14/16 range, I would be EXTREMELY happy.  I feel like that's where my body will be comfortable, and where it'll be happy for the longest amount of time.  I'll be small enough to not have as many health problems presenting themselves to me, but still "large" (not the correct word, but for lack of brainpower, stick with me,) enough to have curves, and have a woman's shape.  I LOVE natural feminine beauty.  The curve of a woman's lower back into her butt are one of my favorite curves on a woman.  I'm not lesbian or bi, but I appreciate what a woman's form has to offer.  We're supposed to be made to be enticing.  The Gut and Sir Stomach are ruining my image.  Bastards.  I do on the other hand, love Ms. Booty.  She is one of my favorite parts about myself.  I like my legs too, but that love is kind of hindered by The Gut.  Ms. Booty has got it going on though.  :)

I wanted to try to be more active this summer anyway.  I'm working 3-4 days a week at Kinney's so that's putting me on my feet for x-amount of hours for each of those days.  Unfortunately, it's mostly standing in one spot for my entire shift, but I need the money so I have to grit my teeth and bear it.  Next week I will be starting my CCV class in Montpelier.  Guess what?  Montpelier has a bike path!  My mom recently bought me Sketcher's Shape Ups shoes, so I'm thinking that as soon as my class is done, I'll go walk the path (or in the city, whatever) for an hour or so before I do my drive home.  Montpelier is full of hills, and with the Shape Ups...trust me, you'll get plenty of workout.  I think that by keeping up with this, I'll be able to get some good work done on myself this summer. 

Now that I'm out and about searching for someone new to date, I want to start making myself feel good again.  Being The Slob and laying in bed all day while smelling to high heaven and looking like a grease monkey because you decided not to shower at all that day is fabulous and all, but that's not exactly the best way to attract a guy to you.  Guys like girls that are out and about, that smell good (which I always do if I leave the house,) and who smile at them.  Unfortunately I'm so paranoid about the dangers of meeting a new guy that you know nothing about (as in....murder, rape, etc.,) that I'm usually on my guard when I'm out and about on my own.  This is one of the few times that my size comes in handy.  Most guys don't want to pick a fight with a girl that looks like she weighs anything over 180.  I really want to trust someone and to be able to go on a nice, normal date without having to be prepared 24/7 for a fight that may or may not ever happen.  *Sigh.*  Why is being a girl so hard?  Why can't we strut around and show off our bulging arm-muscles to everyone, and be able to walk down a dark street at night without having to worry about someone hiding behind the trash can getting ready to pounce and rape us?  I don't think most guys understand what most of us in the female gender have to worry about when we're around town.

I understand that there are a few bad guys in the world making a bad name for every single guy ever created, but it's really hard to feel like you can trust someone not to put a roofie in your drink if he buys one for you, or to not take advantage of you if you're in a less-than-appropriate situation.

I am digressing though.

By the looks of things,  it looks like my blog may now be about my struggles with weight.  Maybe this will be the time?  This post started out as a brainstorming session, but seeing as how I have now written a book, and how 3/5 of it have been about my weight loss idea, perhaps that is something I should go with.  What do you think?

Much love.

<3Megan <3

A Slob, Inspired

Okay, so you know those days where you don't even want to roll out of bed?  You don't even want to answer the phone.  All you want to do is crawl back into your bed, stay there, and watch an entire season of your favorite tv show ALL DAY.

You know, sorta like this:

 ...but minus the rollers.

Today was one of those days.

I have accomplished something today, however.  I just dragged myself into the shower and now I look like an actual person rather than a crazed serial killer who stalks neighborhoods and eats kids.  A minor improvement if you ask me.

After watching Julie and Julia, I've found myself inspired.  Blogging with conviction.  The original purpose of this blog was to blog about the happenings of 308 Maple, but now that I'm home for the summer, I feel as though I have lost my way as a blogger.  I feel as though I bore you all with my incessant ramblings about everything and nothing, and yet I don't know what I love enough to keep up a blog that deserves so much more attention than I give it.  Julie and Julia inspired me to want to take my blog in some new directions, but I'm just not sure where yet. 

I don't want to end up looking like this anymore:

It's depressing, annoying, and I actually want readers!  I mean, I love all of you who are a part of my 308 Crew! <3  But I want to start something.  Something meaningful, something that will keep me going.  What is it that I care about?  What do I love?  What can I advertise about myself that doesn't make me sound like a crazy person?  (Well...I suppose I am in a way, but aren't we all?)  What do people want to hear?  I mean, blogging about my life and what happens in my life is fun, but ANYBODY can do that.  What can I do that nobody else I know can?  How can I get some loyal, devoted followers?  (Someone that I don't actually know.)

Watching Julie and Julia reminded me of a yearning I want as well.  The struggle Julie went through in order to gather her follwers was one I could relate to very well.  I don't really know how else to advertise myself.

I mean, I only have like, 5 followers on Twitter.  How am I supposed to navigate Blogspot?  Especially when there is no easy way to browse other blogs.  I still haven't figured that out yet.  UGH.  Why can't things just be easy?  (Haha, that's funny.)  Next week I'll have my Intro to Bio class to keep me busy, so maybe on my day off this is just a passing thought.  But, maybe not?

I need some help.  I feel a little lost, and I want to write something that people will care about.  I want to connect with other people, I want someone to look forward to my next posts (again, someone that I don't actually already know in person.)  :)

Thank you to those of you who have stuck with me through the beginning.  Until I find my way, I suppose I am going to go get my butt on the treatmill and walk off all the Oreos and Vault I gorged myself on last night with Ryan.  Girly week sucks.

Much love.

<3 Megan <3

Sooo...What Now?

Not too much has been happening here in the small world of Lyndonville.  We wake up, we eat, we work, we sleep.  Thats basically the order of business in this town.

Uhm...hmmm...oh!  I think I've found out what my favorite flowers are!  Calla lilys.  I want them at my wedding, I want a bouquet like, REALLY bad, and well actually--I just want flowers, period.  LOL

In terms of everything else, I'm kind of stuck.  It's really hard to meet up with and enjoy people my own age in this town.  I really want back in on the dating world, but it's really difficult.  I want to put myself out there and get to know new people (namely those that may have some dating potential,) however, because it's hard to meet other people one's age around here, that's a little DIFFICULT.  RAWR!

Next week I start my CCV class in Montpelier.  Intro to Bio, here I come.  OH! And I somehow get to find a way to afford my new phone next week.  As of the 26th, I am eligible for my free upgrade with Verizon.  I'm looking into getting a QWERTY keyboard on my next phone, so I'm going to have to pay extra for that.  I'm thinking about the Envy, but we'll see.

Hmmm...I think that's about all I've got to update everyone on.  Let me know if you have any dating suggestions.  :)

xoxo

<3 Megan <3

RYAN GOT HIS LICENSE!!!

...and that's about it.  I have nothing new to report other than that I opened an account on Zoosk.com.  :)

Oh, and the big ugly orange cement block by my high school?  Yeah, someone left a tv on it last night when I drove by at about 10pm.

Oh well.  I'll keep you posted if anything else new/interesting/exciting happens.

Much love!
-Megan

Who Needs a Penis Partner, Anyway?

It took me a long time to come up with a title for this blog.  There were so many messages i wanted to convey all at once, as well as a few key emotions.  This post is dedicated to all you men out there.  Those of you who like to play women like stringed instruments, those of who who "would love to hook up," and also to those of you who actually respect women, want to treat them right, and are looking for one of your very own.  Although I'm actively on the prowl for one of the latter, I keep finding myself coming across the first two.

I find myself writing this blog with Frankee's F.U.R.B. playing in the background.  How fitting!  (I haven't had a relationship experience like the one explained in the song, but, it's very satisfying to sing along to at the moment.)

It has been four months since my breakup with my last boyfriend.  He treated me extremely well, but he hasn't yet figured out a way to treat himself well.  I've found that I can't be with someone who doesn't respect himself.

As for my most recent endeavours, I've opened a personal ad on Sevendays.com so that I can try to find someone in Burlington that might be looking for a relationship.  (Check me out at: http://sevendays.selectalternatives.com/gyrobase/Personals/Profile?person=oid%3A783834 ).  *Note-I'm not a paying memeber so if I like you, I can't send you a message. :(* 

So far, I've had two guys e-mail me on the site only looking for hookups.  One graduated this past weekend and was looking for a weekend affair, the other was 36 years old.  Ick! Creeper!

The third person I've tried to attempt to make a connection with is someone I had a few classes with this past semester.  Long story short: guys you meet in person and spend some time with who seem like nice, genuine, caring people are ALSO a$$holes.  I asked him to lunch/dinner, and he asked for the way into my pants.  What hope is there if even the people you spend time with in person turn out to be dicks, too?

Right....so, apparently guys love me...as a hookup.  (Which is suprising conisdering I'm a few pounds worse for the wear, but I do try to take care of myself.)  I'm flattered and everything, but I need someone with a bit more class.  Oh yeah, and as an afterthought...don't tell a potential hookup you have a girlfriend after you've asked to hook up with her, and/or while still trying to hook up with her.

*Sigh*  So, obviously I haven't had much luck with this whole dating thing.  I've never been much good at it to begin with, but the past two weeks have just been EPIC fail.  RAWR!

It's easy to see now why so many people give up on love.  It's so hard to earn, and yet so easy to lose.  I find that I'm really enjoying trying to meet new people, but trying to wade through the endless supply of $hitty guys is bringing me down just a little.  Can't I have just one successful date?  Is this really what the world has come to?  No, I refuse to believe it.  There's got to be someone out there who's meant to be with me.  Hopefully he'll find me before I'm 63 and needing a hip replacement...

As a more realistic goal, I would like to find myself having gone on at least one successful date by the time I'm 21.  You see, in the past, the way all my relationships have developed has been by me creating a close realtionship with a guy, and then it just naturally developing into an exclusive relationship.  Now I want to try dating by going in the other end of the spectrum; dating around until I find someone I like and who likes me back, and THEN moving into a mutually exclusive relationship.  I want that experience so bad I can almost taste it.  But, as usual, I will continue to remain patient-not that I have much chocie.  Things will work out in the end--they have to.

To all you Players: grow up.  Really?  Like, really?!  Good luck feeling good about yourself.  The human conscience is a glorious and powerful thing.  You'll get yours someday when you find out the one girl you wanted played you better than a 50 year old fiddler!

To all you lovely, "I'd Love to Hook Up" guys, f**k off.  Thanks, but no thanks.  My heights are set a little higher than that. 

And to all of you Good Guys out there-please don't give up on dating because of the catty, superfluous women out there.  If you normally go for skinny blondes, try the pretty plus-size redhead sitting by herself.  She's probably got more to offer in brains AND in body.  (But of course, you're the Good Guys, so you should know this already.)

To everyone out there Searching For Love either actively or passivley, don't give up.  There's someone out there for everyone.  I feel it.  If you're a guy looking for a girl like me, keep looking.  I'm searching for you, too.

I'm finished venting for the day.  Guys are fabulous, but for right now, who needs a penis partner, anyway?

Love Always,
Megan

Home

The past 24 hours have sucked. 

I left Burlington to come home for the summer.  I am separated from my twin, my best college friends are still in Burlington or heading for Cape, and I'M SO ALONE!!!! :(

Granted, it's really nice to be home to see my family.  But I am really going to miss all the people my age walking the streets at all hours of the day and night.  (Except for probably 6am-8am.) 

Currently I am sitting on my bed in my room after having showered, and I am waiting for someone to get online.  This is how much of a life I have.  Sleeping in my own bed is going to be magical, but Ryan isn't here to cuddle with.  FMLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!

<3

I will miss you all dearly.  I hope you have a fabulous summer, stay safe, and be good to each other.

I'll keep you posted whenever something exciting happens here in L-ville!

Love always,
Megan

P.S. Completely Unrelated- last night while on our last trip to Champ Farms until August, I slipped and fell in the mud in my pjs.  It felt worse than it looked....and it looked horrible.  Fortunately-the fall was really graceful and I didn't injur anything.  Just my ego. :)